History

Sunday, August 10, 2008 7:47 PM CDT

4 years today . . . hooray! Transplant day in 2004 was an exciting time. Lots has happened since then. Short story: all is well.

My 4 year check-up is on August 26th. I hope to have a billing problem from LAST OCTOBER settled by that time. It has caused repeated pulling of hair!

Two more weeks of summer teaching to go--both at the Science Museum with great small scientists. This week's classes are "Blow it UP!" and "Wizard School," both for 6 to 8 year-olds.

Garden is producing. It's really dry. We have a huge extended family of wild turkeys around every day. And all is well. Love to you all, J

Sunday, July 20, 2008 8:30 AM CDT

Hello, hello! I've been holding out for some photos from my SURPRISE birthday party two weeks ago, but they are not pouring in from the fans at this point. It was a wonderful surprise! I expected 10 for potluck, but Larry had invited 80 people, moved the living room furniture into the garage, and hired an accordion player to provide dance music! Lynn kept me out shopping an incredibly long time both Saturday and Sunday, and I didn't catch on until I saw the cars in the street!

Have had 6 weeks of great teaching this summer and look forward to 5 more. Mid-size Wizards this week (ages 9-12) and a class of 6-8s called Light, Color, Magic at the Science Museum. A couple of weeks ago I taught two new classes at Leonardo's Basement (leonardosbasement.com) in South Minneapolis, and I really enjoyed the noisy, busy atmosphere there. Was also hot and noisy. And noisy. And really noisy, but lots of fun.

Garden is coming along. Got some good rain this week. Deck pots are great, but all the tomatoes in my world are still green. Have picked a few peppers, although I do want them to ripen before I pick many more. Yellow squash, eggplant, beans just starting. Cucumbers are blooming, okra is getting bigger, harvested some tiny carrots last week.

I also continue to whack away at the forest. There's so much to do to get rid of unwanted tree seedlings and big trees too. I'm just about done with the heavy work on a big native plant border that had too many lilac sprouts and overgrown forsythia. Need to get the quack grass and vinca out of there too.

I have some work on the calendar for the fall, but I need to make more contacts. Libraries were not ready to work on fall schedule when I had time in April and May, but I don't even have a minute to make phone calls these next few weeks. Will have to MAKE TIME. That should be easy for Professor Sepoc, shouldn't it?

Best to all of you . . . we're looking forward to my FOUR YEAR post-transplant checkup at the U in August. Love, J

Light the Night walk in St. Paul, Saturday October 4, 7 PM. Team news coming soon!

Saturday, June 14, 2008 1:17 PM CDT

Are you ever so overwhelmed with gratitude that you can't see for the tears? I'm exactly there today--digging in the dirt to plant a few more beans and weed the garden. Thinking back to the garden of 2004 That Could Not Be, when I had so much help from my Garden Angels, it knocks me over.

It's really summer. There's no taking it back now. Garlic bloom scapes are up--AND harvested for a stirfry. Last garden seeds planted on the 6th are up. It's about time to pick spinach and figure out something to do with all that CILANTRO! I made a green cilantro relish one year to go with curries, but I didn't eat much of it. Tomatoes and peppers look great, but I lost one of four eggplants. There should be enough!

Gotta get back out there to whack some tree seedlings out of a prairie bed that is eternally weedy. I'm trying to tackle one smallish area a month this summer and see if I can see some structure in the jungle. Doesn't even count buckthorn bashing! Sigh.

We are blessed with your love and care. Janie

Sunday, May 11, 2008 6:45 PM CDT

Perfect Day

It's Mother's Day and the day before Real Mother's Day (Lynn's birthday). Today I got up at the crack of dawn to a windy, cold day. I joined my friend Rebecca to walk the 5 KM Breast Cancer walk. We went a couple of years ago, and I was just overwhelmed at the number of people there. This time we started very early and weren't in such a crowd. I wore my cousin Flora Norton's name, and walked in her honor. The weather got better and better, and it's perfectly sunny right now.

And then I got to work on Wizard School curriculum, for which the Science Museum is paying me! I'll use everything I'm writing for classes this summer, and I have a great bunch of activities. It's really hard to cut the list down to something manageable for the class time (10 hours or 15 hours). It's due Friday the 16th, and my materials list for the first week of summer teaching is due the 18th.

And THEN, Larry and I spent about an hour and a half outdoors whacking away at the forest. He's great at pulling up little buckthorn, box elder, and prickly ash seedlings. And the chain saw started first time! We worked until I ran out of brush killer that has to go on the stumps or they will all sprout back. Jacks-in-the-pulpits are coming up and Mertensia is coming along nicely. First little yellow celandine poppies are blooming. My mother brought me all those wild flowers from Blue Mound many years ago, and I treasure them.

AND THEN I planted a few wee plants I started from seed this spring. And Larry is grilling a chicken outdoors. A very sweet day!

Thank you, all of you, for keeping me in this world! Janie

Sunday, April 27, 2008 5:43 PM CDT

Update on May 4: tomato is still alive, it's warm again, and the sun is shining!

April is Cruel

Our April Fool came late this year with a bunch of snow on Friday and Saturday. Hmmmm. I worked hard all week on a big writing project (which is too big for the $$, but it needs to be done) and got outdoors MTW afternoons to do some gardening. Monday the 21st, my sister's birthday, it was so warm that I planted my "insurance" tomato plant in a wall o' water in a pot in front of the house. We have two more cold nights to get through, according to the forecast. I've covered it up and put a bottle of warm water inside the "tent." We'll see.

It's nearly impossible in April to put away the wool socks and sweaters, wash the down jackets, get out shorts and T shirts, pull the plastic off the windows, finish all the fall yard/forest work, put away the flannel sheets . . . one day is hot, the next is freezing. Spring will come in her own sweet time.

It really is my sister's fault--it seemed cute to plant a tomato plant on her birthday so I can eat a ripe tomato on mine in July. It was OK last year. But spring is a couple of weeks later this year than last. There's just no rushing it.

I have three big writing projects due in May. One is going very slowly, the second is going very slowly, and I just got the contract for the third, which is at least as big as the second one. We're taking the last week of the month for a trip to St. Louis and central Illinois--dance weekend, visits with cousins, and some genealogy work. I know it'll be fun. I frustrated that I can't afford more elaborate travel right now: seeing family in Maine, the big walking tour of somewhere exotic, even a little Giant Thing picture trip. No money, no time. But health is here, and that's good. Very, very good. Never underestimate it.

We love you all, J & L

Monday, April 21, 2008 8:49 AM CDT

Thursday 24th 7:30 AM--a sweet rain is just starting to welcome the little seeds I planted yesterday. First daffodil bloomed yesterday. Hooray.

Monday 4:40 PM The dirt, she is so nice . . . mending a couple of fences, putting out a plant or two. More tomorrow!

And Then We Danced

This weekend, our folkdance center welcomed a favorite caller and a new band from Madison for Saturday afternoon, Saturday night, and Sunday afternoon dances. Larry danced every one! And I did MANY! It's rare that we dance in the afternoon, and the light in that big studio is so beautiful, and we had SUCH a good time. We can almost move without creaking this morning.

It was cool and cloudy much of Saturday, so it was not hard to be indoors. But Sunday was a big sacrifice for me. Spring in Minnesota happens all of a sudden, and you can't blink or you miss it. This year the ice and snow lasted longer, and we'll still have a frosty night or several. But it's warm enough to plant early garden. I hope to get outdoors this afternoon for awhile.

Saturday morning I visited with a Gifted and Talented program called Your Extraordinary Saturday for grades 1-4. I will teach a Detective Science class for them on Saturdays in November. I'm thrilled to have a gig on the calendar so far in advance--as "anyone" would be, but also because I have not always been able to look so far ahead. Met some wonderful teachers and saw lots of very wonderful kids. It'll be great to be part of that group.

Today is my sister's birthday! Hooray for Barb! It's also the echo of the day in 2004 we learned I would have to have a bone marrow transplant. It's not easy to look back, so let's look forward! I'm well, I'm able to be with kids and other people, I can dig in the dirt, and I can look forward to whatever is ahead. You have all been with us on this journey. Thanks for your company, comfort, and courage! JSC

Wednesday, April 9, 2008 3:46 PM CDT

Signs of Spring . . . whoop, whoop!

Little pink noses of rhubarb are coming up!

Garlic is sprouted!

I'm getting ready to do a couple of chemistry magic shows for kids at the Rainbow Families Conference in Mpls on Saturday--should be a great day. I'll have a table in the information area also and hope to market a lot of classes, parties, and more. Will have to take a little cabbage juice along to liven up the place too.

Hope you're all well and that we don't actually get the foot of new snow that is predicted between noon Thursday and Saturday morning! Janie

Saturday, April 5, 2008 2:24 PM CDT

Saturday morning sunshine, first bike ride in toooooo long, snow is almost gone, seeds are sprouting in the greenhouse, and La Boheme on the radio--what could be better? This is not a one-sentence paragraph any more.

Seeing you all would be nice. A little more work would be nicer, but I'm planning ahead--just put some November classes on the calendar. And summer will be busy if all my classes open. I have two paid writing projects to work on this month, so that's great. And my Thursday after school classes are doing well. We've been making science-related toys for kids to take home and playing a few more games.

Lynn is off tomorrow for anthro meetings in San Diego and Columbus. I'd love to peek in at her talks, but maybe she will send me her slides, which I understand are very wonderful.

I'd like to start some sewing projects, but I need to be seeking out work as much as I can. That's the big disadvantage of free-lancing--finding work is half the work. But as my 5-year diagnosis anniversary looms in May and 4-year transplant birthday approaches (in August), I'm more and more thankful that I have brain and spirit and strength to do the work I love. Check out my website (below) if you haven't and let me know what you think!

Our love to you all, J (& L & L)

Monday, March 31, 2008 8:52 AM CDT

Snowdrops and Snow Drops

We have a small bed of spring bulbs planted near our deck, so it gets sun much of the day. When the snow finally melts, here come the snowdrops, first little signs of spring. We're set for a 5-7" snowrainslopstorm, and it's starting to come down.

A native plant friend sent a photo of skunk cabbage growing near his house, so it inspired me to get outdoors. I took a walk in the woods yesterday down to the sometimes-pond, which is very dry right now. I don't think it had much water last summer either. We should hear spring peepers in a few weeks if there's any water at all. I found some pretty big buckthorns (we'll get after those soon), lots of fallen and rotting trees (homes for bugs and woodpeckers), no live river birch trees from a planting a few years ago, one golf ball, and a deer skull.

Our little dwarf (it is both) cherry tree looks OK, but the voles have ravaged the bark on bush cherries again. And I had enough last year for really good jam. Poo. A few recently-planted seeds are sprouted in the greenhouse. Need to get tomato seeds started and plan some efforts to get them out early--something like row cover cloth over conduit hoops on the deck. Hmmmm.

Of course this year's garden will be the best ever. And you are the best friends ever. It's true! Janie

Sunday, March 16, 2008 7:43 PM CDT

Hello all, happy St. Urho's Day to you. . . he who chased the grasshoppers out of Finland, of course. With Rowan's birthday (12th), Laurel's birthday (13th), Pi Day on the 14th (3.14), Ides yesterday, St. U's, and St. Patrick's Day, it's a constant party around here!

Since last week, I've done a very fine Wizard Week with 4th and 5th graders, made balancing toys with my Thursday after school group, and had a not very good class with my high school students on Friday. Additionally, I was not accepted to the Teaching Fellows program, but I sat my exams yesterday because, after all, I had paid for them. My shoulders are really sore from sitting at a too-tall table and writing for four hours. Thank goodness for a great contradance last night.

And I have most of the pepper seeds in pots and will get dirty even more tomorrow starting some flower seeds. I just can't wait! Since I could not do any gardening for almost a year in 2004-5, it's taken me awhile to ramp back up, and I've neglected plants in the green house shamefully this past year. I was about to dump a pot of pothos that I've had since graduate school days because it died from lack of water! But there are again a couple of live leaves, so I took pity on it/them. And there's one bloom stalk on an amaryllis. They are always blooming by the end of March, so they'd better get going!

Still a lot of snow, but it's melting. It's melting. Our best to you all, J & L

Sunday, March 9, 2008 7:29 PM CDT

It's still very wintery around here, and the sun just set. I'll never understand Daylight time! But it does put me in the mood to plant some seeds, I planted some very old onion sets in a pot last week, and they're up already! New tomato and pepper seeds have arrived from Seed Savers' Exchange, and I'll be starting those again for the first time in a few years. I bought plants the last few years, but it's just not the same as getting my hands dirty! Stay tuned!

I'm scheduled (but not ready) to take some "teacher tests" on Saturday this week as part of my application for the St. Paul Teacher Fellow program. I had an interview about three weeks ago and hope to hear from them soon. Not sure I want to make yet another career move at this point, but I'll wait to see if I have an invitation to the program.

This week I'm teaching at the Science Museum doing a Wizard Week. Should be lots of fun. We make ancient paper and ancient ink and learn to write with quills. And then a bunch more wizardly chemistry and physics follows. This program is for 4th and 5th graders from North St. Paul schools, and they are always great kids. There are times, however, when high-potential students are not very clear on social issues. So we'll see!

I had to miss the dance last night because I burned my hand in the toaster oven and had to keep ice on it for several hours. All better today, thank goodness.

Lynn's at the Smithsonian this week CT-scanning the last of a collection of skulls from the American Museum in NY. It's been a long-lasting project, and there's a paper and/or meeting talk in the works. She's looking forward to running on the Mall if it stops raining. She ran her first 5 K last week and really enjoyed it.

Our love to you! Janie (and Larry and assorted plants and stuffed animals)

Monday, February 18, 2008 3:38 PM CST

Excuses, excuses. It will only sound like excuses if I try to explain about what's kept me from updating this page. Lots of work on my business website www.scienceoutsidethebox.com, an incredible number of hours pulling and chopping buckthorn sprouts in our woods, new classes to teach, more experiments to try, a wonderful Thanksgiving visit from the NJ Copes-Pribanics, surprising Larry on his birthday, reading, dancing . . . all the wonderful NORMAL life I can now enjoy. So here's a little story for you:

Larry and Janie and Lynn and the 25 Nickels

This Christmas we were in Sarasota, FL, visiting with the �rents (Larry�s parents). LJ&L arrived a day or so before RL&R (Ron, Lisa, and Rowan from NJ), so we waited patiently for their arrival so we could have our usual wild and crazy celebration. LJ&L were a little restless, and the day was lovely, so they decided to walk down to the nearby shopping area for something or another.

Suddenly One of Us said, �Oh, LOOK! on the sidewalk!� It was a nickel. Wow. I always feel rich when I have a nickel. What luck! In a few more paces, or maybe half a block, and Another One found another nickel. And a third! It was just amazing. Each of Us kept finding them.

We kept walking and looking for fortunes, and the nickels kept appearing. What a Christmas! At one point, a bike rider came toward us on the sidewalk but veered off into the street and wished us a good morning. Could he have scattered the nickels? Who knows? By the time we got to the store and home again, we had found a total of 25 nickels. Or maybe it was 26. Very sweet.

Monday, October 29, 2007 10:23 PM CDT

ALL IS WELL--got the news on Nov 15th--test results are fine! Hooray! Go 'way, vampires.

Waiting Game

Got a scary-sounding phone call after lunch today: we have to do a third try on the big blood test, the one looking for fragments of the bad gene that caused my leukemia. I know there's no reason to be afraid, but I wanted test results today, not another two weeks of waiting.

In August at my 3-year check-up, we sent a blood sample out for the test. Results came back fine a couple of weeks later. But the lab apparently wanted more cells to test because of some auditing process, so I went in for another blood draw on October 11th. Although the sample was marked clearly "BCR-abl test," it was tested for something else that wasn't necessary. Dr. Tomblyn caught the mistake when results were reported to her, so back AGAIN. And two more weeks of waiting.

At least there's fun-with-chain-saw-and-pruner to get rid of more buckthorn. Had enough of a frost Saturday night for the nasturtiums to notice. More lovely weather since then, and I dug up this year's rosemary plant to bring indoors this afternoon.

And I'm teaching Wizard School this week and again later in November. So all will be well. Take care of those on your list, and we will do the same! Janie

Sunday, October 21, 2007 7:03 PM CDT

Our tummies are full of garden soup and garden salad, and the last rhubarb pie of the season is cooling on the stove. Still no frost here in Minnesota, although today was raw and windy. A morning outdoors yesterday with pruner and chainsaw was just glorious. We don't need more firewood at this point, but there's storm damage to deal with and even a few old trees we can push over with one shove. We did leave standing a home for pileated woodpeckers--haven't heard them, but the excavations are wonderful.

Larry and I both presented at the state math and science teachers' meetings on Friday, and I'm into an intense 3-day face-painting job for National Chemistry Week. I have never done any face painting, but I'm doing pretty well with bubbling test tubes.

This week brings my usual T, Th, and F classes to teach, some extra electricity classes for 3rd graders on Thursday. I'm also taking a class at the Center for Book Arts Tuesday night, getting a flu shot, and we have a dance in Northfield on Friday night.

We love you all. Thanks and ever thanks for loving us. Janie

Science Outside the Box: a tiny business that celebrates the scientist in each one of us. www.scienceoutsidethebox.com

Monday, October 8, 2007 7:28 PM CDT

Last jar lid has "plinked."

Last load is out of the canner. I nearly burned its bottom out this summer by not watching it carefully.

There are 3, THREE, quart jars empty in the whole house, and one of them ought to be turned into a vase. And a handful of jam jars are also empty, but not many. I was so desperate that I even bought a few odd jars last week at a thrift shop.

Three huge boxes of apples are safely stored away, and I'm about to sink my teeth into a French apple pie Larry just made. If he hadn't made a couple of pies this past week, I'd STILL be up to my elbows in apples. Our neighbor's trees are overloaded with apples, and I brought home far too many. About 43 quarts of apple sauce, apple juice, apple butter, and apple slices. It's now eeeeenough.

And I'm thinking it will soon be time to turn off the lights at this dear CaringBridge site. I have my business web site up now, and I'm looking more and more forward. We'll see how that feels.

I have a blog at www.scienceoutsidethebox.com, so do take a look. It does not allow visitor comments, so I may change the venue for the blog.

And now pie. Love to you all, J

math joke: p = (Gk. letter pi) - i

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 4:51 PM CDT

One of my friends is running in the Twin Cities Marathon on October 7th, and she is raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I counted up the days today and made a contribution for all 1135 days since my transplant! Polly is a wonderful science teacher and is doing well in her training.

Here's her latest news:
" I ran 20 miles last Saturday in preparation for the October 7th Twin Cities Marathon. This is the start of my " back down " weeks of fewer miles and lots of rest. I want to thank all of you who have made contributions to my goal of $ 1700.00 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

I am a still a few $$ short of my goal and there is still time�( 1 week to be exact ) to donate! �Please visit my web site :

www.active.com/donate/tntmn/tntmnPNorrie

$5.00 ? $10.00 ? A $1.00 for every mile = $26.20 No donation is too small!

I have loved running and training with the Team in Training group and am already planning to run another Marathon in 2008 in Honolulu Hawaii ! But for now, it is focusing a cool fall day ( come on 50 degrees !!! ) in MN and running 26.2 miles. Thanks again! Polly Ann Norrie"

Please consider making a contribution for this vital research and education work! We love you all, Janie

Wednesday, September 5, 2007 7:37 PM CDT

I've finished my last extended teaching for the Science Museum, and new adventures are on the way. This month I'm concentrating on marketing for Science Outside the Box, the tiny company that celebrates the scentist in every one of us. Through another science education entrepreneur, I found a web design program on my own computer! It's called iWeb, and it is a very powerful tool. I'm working on a couple of overall designs, and I'm trying to have the site ready to look at before the end of September. I'm also getting all my teaching materials and handouts organized in a database with FileMakerPro, which is also a fine tool.

Days are getting so short so quickly! I especially notice it at the end of the day because the sun is low in the sky and most leaves are still on the trees. There's a ton of outdoor work to do, but I do need to apply seat to chair to locate more paying work. So far I have two every-week teaching gigs, but each is less than two hours.

more later

Thursday, August 30, 2007 7:13 PM CDT

We're celebrating my final test results: no leukemia bad gene fragments found! We don't get to say "cure" until 5 years past transplant (per Dr. Tomblyn), so two more to go . . . I am so fortunate. Love to all, J

Tuesday, August 14, 2007 10:53 PM CDT

One of these days I'll actually read the pickle relish recipe so I'm not staying up so late to do the next step before it sits awhile. But not this time! I remember that spicy-sweet-vinegary smell (which I did NOT like as a child) that would hit me in the face as I flew in the door after school. I'm sure we started school in August because the Fall Festival in Blue Mound was in mid-August and the State Fair was in late July.

Vacation was lovely. We drove all the way around Lake Superior, seeing many Rocks and Trees, and decided to come home a day early. We found many lovely Giant Things, best of all a Giant Chain Saw in Ishpeming, MI at Da Yoopers' Tourist Trap. Memorable. We enjoyed camping, had mostly great weather, saw lots of Rocks and Trees, visited light houses and waterfalls, and saw more R & T.

Who was it who gave us CDs of Huckleberry Finn read by Garrison Keillor? We took them along and loved all the voices G can make. Thanks to whoever you are! I remember trying to listen to them in the hospital, and my brain just couldn't manage it.

Boring. That's how my appointment at the bone marrow clinic was today. We like boring. Lab results looked fine, but we will wait about a week for the PCR results--looking for any gene fragments indicating leukemia, and being sure my blood DNA is actually Patrona's and not my original equipment. So many Caringbridge leukemia kids are relapsing this summer that it's a bit edgy waiting for the news. Assuming all is well, I will return a year from now!

Came back to googobs of tomatoes, which I canned yesterday. Big rains Friday night and Monday night: 2 inches each time, so we are well watered. I have places to plant lots of prairie plant seedlings that have prospered on the deck this summer. I should be able to make some progress weeding tomorrow also. I just love dirt!

I have one last week of Wizard School to teach starting on the 27th, so I can try out several new ideas. I think we'll make mythical beasts on big sheets of paper and stuff them, although Pauline's class had great luck with Model Magic a few weeks ago. Our Ancient Ink worked very well with quill pens.

OK. Relish . . . more later! Love from your J

Saturday, August 4, 2007 5:03 PM CDT

Finally some rain! It's been so hot and dry that we're delighted to be inside looking out at the drips.

Thanks to all our friends who called and e-mailed us to check that we were not on the I-35 bridge that collapsed Wednesday afternoon. Anne, especial thanks to you for alerting us to the tragedy, because we probably would not have had the radio on that evening. It's incredible that it wasn't worse, and so many lives are marked forever by those few seconds.

Larry and I are getting ready for a camping trip around Lake Superior. We so much wanted to join R,R&L in Maine this week, but we just couldn't swing it. We've pulled out our many-year-old Svea stove that runs on Colemon fuel, lit the candle lantern, washed the sleeping bags, and set up the tent in the garage. All looks good so far. We found a couple of guidebooks (and a pile of mysteries) at the library and bought some "interesting" menu items at the grocery store.

We haven't had a trip just for the sake of traveling for such a long time. Most of our campling in recent years has been of necessity for saving money and not for the joy of it. We've made crazy schedules to be at particular places at particular times, and there has been far too little time to just poke around. We're even going to try to leave computers at home!

That means lots of scurrying to get the last tasks done before Monday morning, but we think we'll be happy to be off at that point. Our consensus is to go "clockwise," along the North Shore first--it just seems the right way to go with the lake on our right the whole way. Or will we be upside down on the South Shore? Do they even call it the South Shore? Doesn't sound quite right!

We'll see what tomorrow's garden harvest brings. Lately I've needed a big bowl or two to bring in the treats. They don't all fit into the tail of my T-shirt by any means.

I've finished summer teaching--this past week was a struggle with several kids who seemed too young to be in a group setting. Also finished a job application that I will hand-deliver tomorrow. And I have my 3-year check-up on the 14th when we return. It's been a whole year since I've been to the clinic at the U: my longest stretch without blood tests since May 15th, 2003!

So onward! We celebrate with two CaringBridge families whose small sons (Finn and Sam) are finishing years of treatment for acute leukemia this month. We wish for long lives unmarred by any medical excitement for all.

We'll bring some pictures and stories back for sure! Love from J (Professor Sepoc) and L (Count Sepoc)

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:52 AM CDT

� Fox sighting! Monday morning I spied two foxes, one probably the adult, and another almost as big--must have been one of the small ones we photographed in May. So at least those two were out looking for breakfast.

� HP7 book is fabulous. I finished it Sunday afternoon, after several breaks in scary parts. Hint: keep track of WANDS in this book! Started it over yesterday to read slower and soak up more details than I can when I sprint to the end.

� Magic Shows went quite well Friday night and Saturday. I'm teaching a 4-day Wizard School afternoons this week at a north suburb community college. It's in a pretty grim room used for plumbing classes, but it is near a small sink, which is rather necessary for my sort of potions.

� I made some bookmarks to hand out at the shows, but I'm not able to paste them here. One says "Professor Sepoc knows how to make exploding pillows, and she can teach you too!" with a picture and contact information for Science Outside the Box (a tiny business that celebrates the scientist in each of us). Still working on a website!

� Keep all fingers and toes crossed for good results at my 3-year post-transplant check up on 14 August! Has it really been that long?

Many good wishes! Janie

Sunday, July 15, 2007 8:16 AM CDT

On Doing Anything

Now I'm sure I can do anything. Just not everything at the same time. Evidence:

Yesterday I took Professor Sepoc to a Wizard Party in Minneapolis. She had donated a magic show and potions class to our church's silent auction. The lucky buyer invited 4th and 5th graders from a gifted & talented program for an afternoon bash. They even had chocolate-covered cockroaches (chow mein noodles, I think) for a snack. And edible wands! I thought the cockroaches were spiders or I would have had second thoughts.

Because I hadn't "cased the joint" Friday as planned (got there too late after my wizard camp's open house), I wasn't entirely prepared to do the show outdoors and the class with all sitting on the floor in their huge garage. So, yup, I (er, Professor Sepoc) can do anything! I had materials for 17 kids, and there were at least 25. And their parents were watching the class. One small problem was that I had forgotten to calculate the volume the wizard bodies would occupy, so we were just a bit crowded with class, and I had to step over them a number of times. And making a crystal ball outdoors on a windy day was, well, hard.

This was rehearsal for 5 more magic shows: Friday night when Harry Potter book 7 is released at Barnes & Noble in Maple Plain [add address here], my shows at 10, 10:30, 11, and 11:30 PM. And at the Bakken Library and Museum [address here] on Saturday morning, my show at 10:30 AM. And then I'll be reading the new book for the rest of the day/weekend.

I saw the HP 5 movie with my friend Jessica [an inorganic chemist who is about to finish and defend her dissertation in August]. Of course the film omits so much nuance and character development, but I actually thought Harry was less obnoxious than in the book. His clandestine teaching Defense of the Dark Arts skills to fellow students is just brilliant. In this book, Harry is 15 and does a great deal of shouting. A dark, dark, dark film.

More later, Janie and Prof Sepoc

Friday, June 29, 2007 12:32 PM CDT

On Decreasing Entropy

My office is a wreck. Any space I've passed through (including the car) is a wreck. Outdoors is a total jungle. I have no steady income after August. But I'm contented and am actually making progress shoveling things out and planning for the future. It's amazing!

Summer teaching for the Science Museum started a week after my high school classes ended. I have 5 weeks of classes with a break now until the 9th. Camp Runestone for Young Wizards, Chemistry Cooks, and Wizard School will be fabulous fun, I'm sure. Many parents know that SMM works extra hard with special needs kids, and that makes for some big challenges and heart-warming successes.

During June I worked with several students who needed to finish chemistry projects and assignments, and I think the last grades went in yesterday. This week, I spent parts of M and T at a chemistry teachers' workshop at the U, and I already knew many of the teachers there. It was great to share stories and get more good ideas. I even won a door prize of chemicals I'll use in July for Magic Shows--I'll call that "act" Hagrid's Toothpaste (a big foamy mess coming out of a tall cylinder).

I just finished a proposal to teach some after school classes at two St. Paul affordable housing projects, and I hope to work on a website next week. This afternoon I'm going to make myself a present of a kit to make a psaltery, a stringed instrument from a music kit store in nearby Stillwater.

Made some jam last week from tiny bush cherries, most of which are ravaged each winter by our friendly voles. But one bush had plenty for jam. Black raspberries are lovely (although thorny and they don't all ripen at once)--we've had shortcake for dessert. AND THE FIRST TOMATO!!! Can you believe it? I actually shared it with Larry last night instead of eating it out in the garden. I bought plants from Seed Savers' Exchange this year, and Stupice brought forth the first ripe one. Peas have been good, but they're crispy by now. Lettuce and spinach have also been wonderful. I have my share of chigger bites from twice not getting into the shower fast enough after a brief trip to the garden. They aren't so bad as sometimes, but none of my great remedies work this time to kill the itch. And the itches are of course in places I must not scratch in public! Gotta work on a Quit Itch Potion (appreciate the pun on quiddich, will you?)

Book recommendation: Hitched by Carol Higgins Clark. Great non-murder mystery with almost a Keystone Kops feeling--reminded us of The Pink Motel (a great kids book).

Let's see if I can find that jam picture from last summer . . . our love to you all from J (&L)

Lynn will be home in a week for a few days!!!!! Whoopee!!!

Thursday, June 14, 2007 9:09 PM CDT

Living in WHICH Moment?

I am trying to finish all my grades, close my scool office, inventory chemistry and physics equipment, account for textbooks, teach two bouncy groups of Slimy Scientists W-F this week, get class outlines and materials lists turned in for next week's classes, organize office at home, invent a web site, and write a coherent proposal for after school science classes at two St. Paul housing projects for next year. It all needs to be done RIGHT NOW. Erm.

It will get better. This is not a one-sentence paragraph.

These three fuzzballs lived under our deck for a bit this spring. Their adult fox was sniffing around dramatically, perhaps looking for a fourth little one? Haven't seen them lately, so we hope they have a new home and plenty to eat.

Hugs to all, J

Saturday, June 2, 2007 4:20 PM CDT

Is it going to rain or is it not? I've been in and out of the house several times, and finally I've cleaned up from a fine garden day. Just drove around the neighborhood to see if Larry's walk was rained out, and he quite graciously accepted a ride home. It's wonderful to have enough rain to get things established and to make weeding much easier.

Today I've weeded most of a vegetable garden bed, planted beans and okra, weeded and replanted a very neglected native plant garden, and moved a lot of wood chips. Er humpppph, paper grading has not happened.

Four more days of school to go plus two evening events . . . I'm counting the days. I have done my best and would have liked to return. Feels like success to me. I am not needed to help wayward students try to pass their classes in June--hooray, hooray!

I've added another week and a half of kids' classes at the Science Museum starting on June 13th. It will be fine to be back with younger ones again, encouraging their discoveries of Slimy Science, Magic Chemistry, Camp Runestone for Young Wizards, and several other delights. Lots of plannng to do!

That shower didn't last very long, but it was still welcome. Hope these early days of summer are just what you need! J

Saturday, May 5, 2007 2:23 PM CDT

It will probably stop raining as soon as I decide to come in, but it's a good time to praise the rhubarb and write a few sentences. Spring is really here, and many outdoor chores are clamoring for attention. This morning Larry and I laid waste to more jungle--sawing up more of the mess we made last spring in our west woods area. I'm trying to get rid of Japanese honeysuckle and buckthorn, which take all the space away from good understory trees that feed and house wildlife. Good news: lots of little native wild cherry sprouts are coming up already!

Last spring and summer, we cut down lots, hauled lots to two big brush piles, cut more, left it where it was, and promised to rent a big chipper to grind it all up. Then summer was way busy, I had SO much to do to get ready for school to start, and then it was fall. We've promised to make time in 2 weeks to rent the chipper, then do more bushwhacking in another 2 weeks. It's a jungle out there! And compost needs moving, shredding, sifting, consolidating, etc. I LOVE IT!

Maybe I'll think about making rhubarb cranberry jam instead of grading papers. . . there are cranberries in the freezer, rhubarb in the garden, empty jars waiting to be filled, but no pectin in the cupboard. Hmmmm.

OK, I'm returning to my free-lance career since my school has found a licensed teacher to replace me next year. Science Outside the Box is a tiny business that sprang forth a few years ago when I was last laid off. There were so many things to be afraid of at that point, including a life-threatening diagnosis and later a life-threatening therapy. But I'm feeling so much lighter on my feet this time. I'm looking for markets for my skills as a science communicator: writer, presenter, teacher, coach, inventor. We did not starve when both of us were finding our ways in this free-lance universe. And I will learn to say "no" to gigs that wear me down to nothing.

School is over the first week in June. Then I have a couple of weeks of helping students who failed science classes this term--will NOT be a joyous task, even if I were returning next year! I'm paid through mid-August and have health insurance through that month. I have 4 weeks of summer teaching for the Science Museum, and then we hope to spend some sweet time with Ron, Lisa, and Rowan in Maine and/or NJ.

I've just read an article in my chemistry weekly news magazine about home-schooling high school students in science and what a need there is for curricula and good experiments. I'm anxious to see what I might do to fill that need. Do stay tuned!

Work is what we do to trade our time for money. I want to make wise trades!

Love to you all. Sieze this day and squeeze a whole lot of fun from it! J

Saturday, April 21, 2007 7:35 PM CDT

OK, here's the Giant Ketchup Bottle story. Happy Birthday to Barb today, and to Queen Elizabeth. Next time I need to write about my short career as a high school teacher--I'm being replaced next year by a licensed teacher. Sigh. BIG sigh.

When Laurel died in 2003 I was teaching for the school outreach group at the Science Museum. It involved taking assembly programs and classroom residencies to schools all over MN and parts of WI and IA. I was on a trip with another teacher to somewhere north of the Cities, which happened to have a giant fish at the Interstate exit. I stopped to take a picture of it and mentioned to my partner that I collect pictures of giant things. She remembered that she had seen a giant ketchup bottle somewhere between Chicago and LA (during a post-college trip along the old Routh 66), and she promised to look through her pictures when she had time. Maybe it was near St. Louis.

As we were waiting to find out funeral plans, my sister in Missouri called and wanted us to pick up her sister-in-law and Laurel's other aunt in Wisconsin. Larry and I had planned to drive a different way and really wanted some time to ourselves to try to process this tragedy. But we agreed and changed our route to pick up Valerie. We stopped for quite a few Giant Things in that corner of Wisconsin, and V turned out to be a wonderful traveling companion. We made some GT stops and of course had to tell her about this goofy hobby and collection of pictures.

So we got to the funeral and did our best meeting friends and relatives. And we laid Laurel's body to rest and told lots of stories. She managed to bring an amazing group of people together, all of whom knew and loved her from slightly different angles.

As we left Barb and Larry's (yes, both my sister and I married Larrys), she handed me the local paper with Laurel's obituary. Valerie settled in the back seat to read the paper. And, what do you know? Just as we crossed the Mississippi in St. Louis, Valerie read out loud a little "travel feature" from the paper telling us exactly where to find the Giant Ketchup Bottle in Collinsville.

Could we ignore such a gift? Of course not! But it was Off the Beaten Path, indeed! We drove and drove and drove and nearly turned back, when at the top of the next rise, a view of the Ketchup Bottle burst upon us! It's a Brooks bottle, a brand I certainly remember from long ago. I think there was even small battle in our family about whether ketchup or catsup was the proper term. Pop and I were in favor of "cat" as I remember because we liked cats. But so did Barb and Mom, so maybe it wasn't a battle after all.

And we kept driving after that and ran into a huge snow storm in southern Wisconsin and stopped for the night and found the only restaurant open wherever we were. And then we slept and finished the trip.

I would still rather have Laurel in my life than have found the GKB, but I didn't get to choose. She was a gift, and the GKB was a gift.

Saturday, April 14, 2007 5:50 PM CDT

Long-promised Laurel story: Our neice Laurel graduated from Colby College in Maine in 2000. She majored in creative writing, and we had the pleasure of meeting one of her teachers at her graduation. Although she had a promising writing internship in Minneapolis that summer, the job situation was very discouraging, and Laurel moved home to Missouri to live with one of her brothers. Time moves on, work still hard to find, and Laurel decided to join the Army where she would have further training as a journalist and be able to pay back her college loans.

Things went pretty well through 2002 at basic training, except for the Running Test. Laurel had to run 2 miles in less than 20 minutes, with a full backpack, and that was a big barrier. Would be for me too! She had 3 or 4 chances to pass the test, but she didn't find out about one of the times, she had a sinus infection for another, and in December she was down to her last chance to pass the running test. I don't know who the kind soul was, but someone at Fort Meade said to her, "Come on, Johnson. I'll pace you." So they practiced running just fast enough to make the time without totally wearing Laurel out. And she passed!

I heard this story from Laurel in January 2003, just as she arrived at her first post-basic training location in California. She was amazed at the kindness of people she hardly knew--making sure she had enough money until first paychecks came, introducing her to others, helping her to fit into a new place and role. As hard as Laurel searched for family, she found it in the Army, which I find ironic to say the least.

And on February 1, 2003, her car was obliterated by a drunk driver. The war in Iraq started 6 weeks later, and she certainly thought she would be sent there. Who knows what might have happened.

And I miss her. She should have had the chance to be 30. Just one week after Laurel's birth in Phoenix in 1977, our friend Emily was born in India. She came to the US to be the dear daughter of our dear Anne. We had a WONDERFUL time at Emily's party with potluck and dancing. How very fortunate I am to have these two young women in my life.

Maybe I'll write about the Giant Ketchup Bottle next. It wouldn't have happened but for Laurel. And then some garden stories--I planted early things today! Love to you all, Janie

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 9:10 PM CDT

I want to lift a glass for our niece Laurel. Some of you know that she lived with us for a couple of years when she was in high school. Suddenly having a teenager when Lynn was 10 changed us all, as you can well imagine. For the better, for the better. . .

Her death in 2003 in a car accident began that two years of one unbelievably awful thing after another in our lives. It's her 30th birthday today. I'll write some more a little later.

For now, just hug someone dear to you. J

Happy Birthday # 2 to our little niece Rowan.

Friday, March 2, 2007 5:30 PM CST

And ANOTHER snow day! Yes! I'm still trying to recover from a cold that I thought I got rid of a week ago. Sleep and moving slowly are both helping. I did grade quite a few papers this afternoon, and thought about the garden, and checked up on lots of CaringBridge kids. But I haven't stepped outdoors today. Larry did a wonderful snow-clearing job--thanks!

And finished reading Joan Didion's "A Year of Magical Thinking." Read this book. It's astonishing. Part of the resonance is that my 2003-2004 year brought a number of major blows to my equilibrium, not so different from Didion's. I don't think I'll ever write so well as she does, but I can try.

Tomorrow I'm going to a teacher workshop called "Arts for All." I planned to go to it last year and somehow forgot! Am feeling we're just trudging in my classes, so I hope this will poke my creativity buttons.

We're still trying to find a bad circuit breaker that controls the fireplace fan and a couple of lights. Tried everything we could last night. Fortunately it's not particularly cold outdoors. Will try replacing some double circuit breakers tonight hope to figure it out. Can't tell if it is a breaker or the fireplace thermostat that is the problem. When this happened many years ago, the thermostat had failed and we ended up melting a bunch of ductwork, which shouldn't have been PVC in the first place. Hope for less drama this time, please!

And stay warm. Best to you from J & L

Thursday, March 1, 2007 12:29 PM CST

Just received a wonderful gift--school closed early today because of a snow strom! I've been fighting off a cold and had struggled into school, dragging my wheeled book bag through the snow. So I left a note for a student who was going to do an experiment this morning and trudged back to the car.

We already had quite a big, wet storm Saturday and Sunday, and our snowblower was just barely spitting out the biggest glumps. Larry took it to our great repair person, and this morning it's running like a new machine. Apparently the carburetor was gunked up, so now we know how to keep that from happening.

We're supposed to get at least a foot of snow followed by blizzardy winds, so maybe tomorrow will be cancelled also. We've just finished a month of the spring semester, but all my students were hoping for a little break. Just about all of MInnesota has been in snow drought this winter, so perhpas these two storms will help the collective mood. If I felt better, I would get my skiis out. Our best to you all, Jane

Saturday, February 24, 2007 4:38 PM CST

More Theater of the Seasons . . . we're waiting for a big winter storm, and it actually is starting to snow more in earnest. We drove to Northfield last evening accompanied by Rattly Little Ice Balls. A couple we met at church organized a community contra dance, and about a dozen Tapestry dancers went down to be sure they had a core of more experienced dancers. It was way crowded in the little armory building. Lots of St. Olaf and Carleton students and plenty of townsfolk were there. Had a great band and a fine time.

Tonight the same fine band is playing here in town, and I hope people will brave the weather to come. It's such fun!

I've braved a computer problem this week and didn't totally melt down. Fortunately Papa C had returned Lynn's First Computer (no, not the one she got at age 3), so I had something of a back up. My hard drive had a couple of bad blocks. Apple store replaced it with no charge even though my warranty ran out a couple of weeks ago. With the new logic board in December, this is practically a new machine. They recovered data for me too, which would have been an alldayallnight project here.

Larry's been fighting off some intestinal problems and then an allergic reaction to a remedy he took. But he danced last night quite well and only sat out one dance, I think. He's still not sleeping very well despite our spiffy new mattress, which we gave each other for Valentine's Day.

I taught just 3 days last week. Monday was President's Day, and Friday I attended a chemistry and physics teachers' meeting at the Science Museum. My first time of having a substitute teacher: my SMM supervisor Ralph Carlson, who is a retired chemistry teacher himself agreed to sub for me. And he still talked to me at the end of the day! I was a little worried that my students would be too rude.

Although classes are going quite well for me, and I'm much better prepared for each class, I'm not sure my students are catching on so well with new and harder topics this term. First quizzes of the semester are coming up this week, and I hope they all do well.

This morning I saw a sleek fox emerge from under the deck. I miss this sweet time at my desk, getting to watch the woods fill up with snow. Someone already used that line, though. I've been getting up and out for swimming and workouts at the gym most mornings this month, so I go on to school to work in my office instead of coming back home.

Best of the day to you all, J

Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:48 PM CST

Classes are going pretty well. I've met both general chem and honors groups twice so far. A few new students, a few others are not with us, some have switched which hour they have chemistry. I just feel as if I have so much more energy available for them this term. Maybe the 3 weeks off was the magic, or maybe getting to the gym and pool (HHHOOOORRRAYYYYYY), or something I ate.

It's REALLY cold, and it's threatening to last another week. Thanks to Lynn for loaning me her big red down coat for another winter! It really helps.

Saturday and Sunday evenings Professor Sepoc will be entertaining Cub Scouts at two Blue and Gold Banquets. . . stay tuned for the worst jokes ever!

Why do wizards wear the pointy hats? [Because we have such sharp minds!]

HP Book 7 comes out at midnight July 21st. I may have another Barnes & Noble gig already! Need to return a call tomorrow.

Hugs to all, Janie

Thursday, February 1, 2007 5:05 PM CST

A little new snow and a chilly day today . . . I still have a few more days until classes start again Monday. We've had such fun the last three weeks: visiting Lynn in Arizona and enjoying snow on I-17 on our way north to the Grand Canyon! What are the odds that we would arrive during "winter" in the Southwest? We did not finish the trip to GC because of weather and limited time, so we turned around in Flagstaff and drove down the Elm Creek Canyon road through Sedona to Cottonwood, stopping every few feet to take more pictures of snow-rock-tree-cactus-sky in various combinations.

We enjoyed a contradance in that little community, then awoke to drive over more mountain roads to Prescott, where Lynn's chorus and orchestra had a concert. Then back to Tempe . . . a lovely time. Larry and I both took lots of work with us, and we three were often seen with a computer on each lap. We were allowed to visit Lynn's anatomy class (not the lab), and The Little Juilliard Band played a wonderful concert as well.

I've so enjoyed planning classes for this semester--I'm so much more organized than I was in August. I had no idea what my students would be like or even how to craft a good class session, much less a whole semester.

And it's still light at 5:15. Even though our coldest weather is just starting, the light is returning, so there is great hope of another year of garden wonders. We are in the season of Emptying Jars, made possible by the season of Filling Jars. And that is made possible by those incredible seeds: each one a baby plant asleep in a box with its lunch.

Our love to you all, Janie

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 5:04 PM CST

OK! Grading is mostly done. Way too much left until the last minute--we're not doing THAT again. A few students are finishing up some work in January, but now I can go out to roll in the snow. Finally we have some! And it's cracking cold, too. This is the northern edge of the big ice storm that many farther south got--I'll take snow any day! Oh, maybe not in July.

Larry and I leave Friday for some fun with Lynn in Arizona. We're planning a small trip to the Big Canyon, with a contradance and Lynn's chorus concert on the way back to Phoenix. Then a few days of mucking about (oh! I have a new cousin to meet, too!) and the Little Juilliard Band comes too. Then I get to come back (to an empty woodshed, I fear) and Larry travels on to California for something math-related.

So I have until the 5th of February to wrench my course plans into better shape and get some more exercise. I know a lot more than I did in August! And see some friends who must think I've fallen into a beaker or something.

I can already tell the days are lengthening, just 3 weeks after the Solstice.

And clean the greenhouse! And plan the garden! And stratify some seeds! And sew some! And send hugs and greetings to all! From your J

Friday, January 12, 2007 11:06 PM CST

The pile of papers to grade is deep. Whew. Next semester I won't let kids wait til the last minute to turn in so much stuff!

But I survived the semester. It didn't seem possible that second week in the middle of the night when I melted down into a little puddle.

More when I come up for air. . . Love to you all from J (Professor Sepoc is strong AND tough)

Sunday, December 31, 2006 5:47 PM CST

We three returned Friday from nearly a week in Florida with the Copes elders. I loved reading outside, having a couple of afternoons to swim, making music together, sharing meals and hugs and jokes. It was a fine trip.

At last, there's a bit of snow after a very rainy morning. Nothing Coloradish about it, but there's a bit.

We're off to a potluck and dance tonight with a wad of friends who love to eat and dance. Lynn is enjoying catching up with high school friends before she returns to AZ on Thursday.

I'm glad for work this year: glad for health to enjoy teaching, glad for colleagues who laugh with me and keep the office chocolate hoard replenished, glad for students who challenge me, glad that chemistry still delights me many years after I first loved learning chemical formulas at age 11. I should be able to make good progress toward my teaching certification in 2007.

Hmmmm, garden catalogs beckon me to plan the Best Garden Ever for 2007. Next weekend . . . I still have a big pile of papers to grade tomorrow! We have two 4-day weeks left this semester, then a break until the 7th of February. I'll be getting ready for the new term (same students, more chemistry) and spending a short time in Phoenix absorbing some music and sunshine.

Thanks and ever thanks for your good wishes! Our love to all from J

Sunday, December 17, 2006 6:02 PM CST

Lynn is a new-minted M.A., having marched in the academic procession on Friday the 15th. Congratulations! She is leaving tomorrow for a week of measuring monkey teeth at the Smithsonian and will join us in Sarasota next weekend for Christmas Revels at the Elder Copeses' abode. Ron, Lisa, and Rowan (especially Lisa) are enjoying another week of serious home restoration with a crew of thousands (well, lots). I trudge on for another three days of inspiring young minds this week before a dentist appointment, dinner with friends, a contra dance, and an insanely early flight to Florida. I see Larry occasionally, and he's just cooked a yummy dinner . . . I adjourn temporarily . . .

How's this for a seasonal message?

On the last day of chemistry, my teacher gave to me 10 extra points,
9 Florence flasks,
8 valence electrons,
7 conversion factors,
6 molecules
5 gold ions,
4 moles of lead,
3 protons,
2 Bunsen burners,
and a new periodic table!

It's not the last day of chemistry yet--6 more to go for one group and 5 for the other--but I'm starting the count down. This is truly the hardest job I've ever had.

We have a few holiday decorations up in the living room, and we are enduring more dry, brown weather. I welcomed Lynn's down jacket for a few days early in December but haven't needed it for the last couple of weeks.

We wish you merry times with beloved friends and a partridge in your lone pair tree (chemistry pun, get it???????) And I started this at 6:02 PM. Another arcane chemistry reference. I need more sleep! Janie

Saturday, December 9, 2006 2:58 PM CST

I'm sitting at my south-facing desk, squinting less now that the sun has moved a bit farther along its path today. We've gotten through several days of our first single-digit morning temperatures, and I actually left my coat in the car this morning.

I finally got an overdue oil change for the car early this morning and made several shopping stops on the way home. I do think it's Patrona's fault: this pleasure at shopping is so unlike me. But it was sunny and not terribly crowded, and I do so love keeping secrets that I hope will please loved ones! HA!!

Just 10 more class days for chemistry this semester! Our classes meet every other day, and the semester is over mid-January. So we're scurrying to fit in everything we need to finish a major project (general chemistry) and master the Mysteries of the Marvelous Mole (honors). My students filled out course evaluations this week, and I'm working on the lists of assignments and assessments to finish the term.

There will be time in January to visit Lynn in AZ for a bit and get ready for spring term. Most of our students will do an intensive arts activity for 2 1/2 weeks. Some of them will be trying to make up missing work (we euphemistically call this "credit recovery") with our biology teacher supervising them. I get my chance to pull them back from the brink in June. Graduation requirements have increased significantly for this year's 11th graders and younger students. They now must have 3 years of science instead of just 2 and more math, social studies, and English as well. Our school doesn't give graduation credit for less than C- work, and that's set at 70 So we scramble.

I really am wishing for some snow and a little time to enjoy it. Hope you are all well and finding joy in another sweet day. We love you SO much! Janie

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 5:04 PM CST

Circle of the Seasons

Yesterday brought the first seed catalog for next year's garden. Pinetree Gardens in Maine gets the prize for the first one, and they always have wonderful books to tempt me. Is there time to read the books I'm getting for Christmas presents?? Hope so! And I've brought out the last of the almost-ripe tomatoes I picked green in October. I'm feeling some distance from plant things right now for some reason. I TRY to water plants in the greenhouse, but I'm hardly taking care of them. I guess there's only so much time to spend, and I have lots of work to fill the hours.

Also having trouble getting to the gym and pool. I did get up to swim on Saturday, and maybe I can tomorrow too. I do get a lot of walking exercise, but I know I need more to keep my bones working.

And there's that quilt that I haven't made time to work on for far too long. Work is good. A few more hours per day might be really fine too.

Hugs to all from J

Tuesday, November 14, 2006 6:18 PM CST

Ah, November. Getting darker each day, yet the light continues to shift into wonderful colors. Thanksgiving coming. We're looking forward to a few days with friends who bought a cabin up north near Remer, MN. And a 3-day teaching week will be a blessing. Is it NEXT week already???

I've had a day of being sick each of the last two weekends, but I managed to be propped up by the time the week started. Both times felt like my immune system over-reacting to something that could have been fairly minor! But I'm not complaining about my new blood factory! It could be just a little quieter about fighting off bugs! I have felt very fortunate not to be sick when students are all sneezing around me.

We moved and split and piled and moved and moved and split and sawed and piled and piled even more firewood and finally put the chain saw away for the winter. Fire in the fireplace is lovely this evening.

Hoping you are cozily enjoying a good book, a beloved friend, a bit of chocolate, your rubber ducky, NPR, or whatever pleases you this evening, Janie

Monday, October 30, 2006 7:45 PM CST

Garlic: PLANTED

Leaves: RAKED AND MUNCHED How lovely it is to mess about with dirt again!

Woodshed: FULLLLL!!!

Larry: off to a conference in Virginia/D.C.

Students: working hard to turn stuff in before mid-term grades appear. Adopt-an-Element projects in two classes and a Town Meeting in the other two are coming up.

It adds up to a pretty contented time. Best to you all from J

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 6:57 PM CDT

Garden is unplanted, many loads of firewood have traveled from neighbors to us, and leaves are tempting me to rake and munch them up for compost. School is OK, and kids seem less fractious today for some reason. Maybe we're all getting used to each other. I'm seeing most students my difficult class really trying to succeed. That's a good thing!

I think I've diagnosed a shooting hip pain to new shoes that must misalign something. Hope to get to the pool tomorrow morning!

I like this not being totally exhausted! Hugs to all! JSc

Friday, October 13, 2006 5:48 PM CDT

Signs of a better life: I got to the gym and pool this week. I took the bus to work several days. I caught up on grading. My desk at school is mostly clear. I'm going to a dance tonight and one tomorrow night too.

So my part-time job is just about full-time work, but not taking every waking moment. Hooray. I called some parents this week to share concerns about their kids, and none of them hung up or screamed at me. Hooray.

Had a very hard frost Wednesday night. I made one last rescue run to the garden and have a big pot of green salsa just about ready to can tomorrow. I can't help picking green tomatoes. It's hopeless, but they're actually beautiful when you cut them open.

And food tonight. And a dance. Hooray.

Two years ago I was almost able to walk once around the "smaller block" here at Zoidburrow.

Love from J

Friday, October 6, 2006 6:37 PM CDT

Ah. Friday night. Breathe. Eat. Sleep in a little while.

Things are better. I've moved to teaching part-time (only 10 classes a week instead of 15) with only two different courses instead of the crazy-crazy schedule I started the school year with. It is plenty full-time-enough, and I actually have time to grade papers, prepare for class, AND eat lunch. What a concept.

A new teacher started this week to teach my physics and biology sections, and she looks a little frazzled. She's a field biologist, spouse of another new faculty member, just moved to town last weekend after finishing other jobs in International Falls. Everyone think good and calm thoughts for Kim now, please.

Professor Sepoc has a magic show for 3M's Visiting Wizard family day tomorrow. She is very hexcited. She even came to chemistry classes today since we were beginning our study of atomic theories. She brought flash paper and dry ice to show the elements of Fire and Air with a little Water added for variety. Students got to make a little crystal ball in a teacup, and they were very happy. Don't know where Ms. Copes went . . . hope she is OK.

If you're interested in what the Journal of Chemical Education has to say about the Chemical Wizardry of J.K. Rowling, e-mail me and I'll send you a copy of the article.

Much love, many hugs, sighs of relief from your J

Sunday, October 1, 2006 1:32 PM CDT

As much as I want to hang a load of laundry outside on this glorious day, I want even more to finish these enormous piles of papers to grade and return them to my students. So, nose to grindstone, I continue.

And I continue to soak up your love and care. Janie

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 7:11 PM CDT

Am a bit less exhausted after school today. The secret to weight loss is teaching high school. Monday and Tuesday I was really dragging. Despite working lots of the weekend, I still wasn't very well prepared for classes, and I hadn't done much grading. Getting ready for a big lab experiment took a lot of Saturday. At least the car is working again.

Had a few minutes in the garden last evening picking green tomatoes and a few other treats. Was a little sad to see how many lovely veggies just won't make it to ripe this season. One very productive pole bean that makes beautiful speckled beans has tons of pods on it, but there's not enough time and warmth to make beans. I can count on one hand the okra pods I've picked (but some giant flowers shaded them out most of the summer). Gardening is so worth it, but the end of the season is sad. OK but sad.

And I'm OK. Things will get better! First October Magic Show is a week from Saturday! Love to you all, Janie

Monday, September 25, 2006 7:12 PM CDT

Whoosh. New Gremlins are buzzing around us. . . did manage to get CD out of my computer, but the problem is not the drive but the logic board. Will make time to get it fixed (under warranty) in December or so.

Had a big car problem on my way to church yesterday. L and I had parsed the day out to have brunch with friends and get me to school to work and him to our friend Ben's voice recital. But accelerator suddenly wouldn't work in the middle of a bridge and I managed to coast to an exit. All the warning lights on. Had brakes and steering, but no acceleration. That must be one of Newton's laws, don't you think?

So we problem-solved with help of cell phones (oh, I'm a convert now), so he trashed his plans and came to rescue me. We got the car started and moving again and the warning light was off. So we took it to our trusted Toyota dealership, which had moved in September. Couldn't find 4601 AMerican Boulevard. Went back and forth. Finally found it and left car, note, and key.

This morning the mechanic said that yes, the accelerator sensor failed, got reset, but it will fail again. So a couple of days and many $$$$$ will have it working again.

I. don't. need. this.

Hard day, not very well prepared, but I didn't scream or cry. No one bit me. We love you, J

Monday, September 18, 2006 7:27 PM CDT

Larry and I have both made a bit of progress against the gremlins. He got his program going and fixed a couple of small errors--an on-line math ed class he's teaching for Hamilne U in St. Paul. Will meet 2 of his 4 students next weekend.

I've solved the computer projector problem with the cable from the new projector bought for my Science Museum classes! Today I got some computer-to-printer problems solved.

School is still overwhelming. My students are getting more charming, for the most part.

My computer still has a CD stuck in the drive, but I have an appointment to start getting it fixed next Saturday. This weekend, I learned not to give up after 3 trips to 2 different Apple stores in town.

More later. We love you, J

Friday, September 15, 2006 8:24 PM CDT

Larry and I are both just about buried by huge projects with many squiggly parts. He is getting computer simulations ready for a class that starts TOMORROW, and I'm trying to catch up from last week and get ready for next week.

But we will dance tomorrow with a great band no matter what.

My job is way too big. But some things went either better or well this week. And a whole pile of little but paralyzing computer problems just about sent me over the edge today.

More later. We love you. J&L

Sunday, September 10, 2006 4:50 PM CDT

I could be canning that salsa I made this morning (and then decided not to go to a school picnic for which I made it). Or I could be trying to figure out where to go (mentally) with my physics class this week. Or wrapping up Rowan's Hallowe'en outfit to mail it before she has outgrown it. But I want to just enjoy having finished four very busy days at a very amazing school.

And it's suddenly cool, drizzly, rapidly-darkening fall. Sorry, Lynn, I know it's still way too hot in AZ. I stopped at a Caribou for a bagel, mocha, and some used coffee grounds yesterday. (One of my chem classes is doing an experiment tomorrow called Foul Water, and I'm not using new coffee!) It was nice to be eating and drinking warm things on a wet, wet, wet day. And I know Lynn isn't enjoying a raspberry hot chocolate today.

Anyway. I think this last week was like jumping on and off a hyperfast merry-go-round with the music turned way too loud. I'm teaching or supervising a study hall for most of the hours of the 8-4 school day. I do have about 20 minutes for lunch each day, although I didn't have time to eat on Friday and still managed to enjoy the afternoon. I always have 9:30-11 AM "free," I only have two different classes a day, and classes meet every other day. So it should be easy.

BUT. . . textbooks for one class have not yet arrived. A huge equipment order has not come, so I couldn't ask Friday's students to make some solutions for this next weeks experiments. We had pictures taken in the middle of Friday's physics class, so I couldn't do much to ease the panic several students are showing. My Science Museum classroom was being painted this week, so I couldn't get much organized in advance. The photocopier was so overworked that our office reeked of ozone on Thursday!

BUT . . . teachers and students are so talented and hard-working and kind. I'm getting a lot of good load-bearing exercise zipping among three buildings. I managed to take the bus two of the four days. No one bit me.

And Saturday night we danced. More later; salsa calls. Love to you all, J

Friday, September 8, 2006 9:16 PM CDT

Serious whoopage around here . . . I did it. I got through the first week of school! More details later . . . and I love you all. . . JSC

Wednesday, September 6, 2006 7:20 PM CDT

Second day of school--harder than the first! Has it been only two days??

PCR results are NEGATIVE! That means no leukemia coming back. Hooray, hooray, hooray!

Love you all, and my feet hurt. You don't think I teach sitting down, do you??

Would any local folks like to walk with us at the Light the Night walk on Saturday, September 30? Let me know. and you can register online at www.lightthenight.com No fund-raising is necessary, but contributions to Leukemia and Lymphoma Foundation are very appropriate.
JSC

Tuesday, September 5, 2006 6:02 PM CDT

First day of school! Ooooh, I'm tired. . . from the bus ride to the jammed copier to trying to make the computer attendance system to LOTS of students, it was a good day. And I'll plan to go back tomorrow too.

Our class periods are 80 minutes, so there are 5 periods and a short lunch break. I had biology (28 students in a crazy computer room), caught my breath, supervised a study hall with no chairs or tables in another building, ate a few bites, then had two chemistry classes in the Science Museum. Our classrooms have new floor wax and new paint, so we met in a substitute spot that's good for discussion.

Love you all, JSC

Saturday, September 2, 2006 5:53 PM CDT

A cool, sweet morning . . . harvested lots of beans and peppers. Tomatoes are slowing way down. Got a canner-load of assorted veggies processed before lunch.

Larry has been inside-out with what was probably a food-allergy-revenge-of-the-watermelon battle. I had minor surgery Friday morning and slept most of yesterday trying to get back to consciousness. We hope to dance tonight!

Workshops at school have been wonderful. Meeting faculty, working, and eating together have been splendid, and our students come on Tuesday. I'm not quite ready yet, but I can imagine how to get there. I have ONLY two different classes each day and ONLY three total classes each day. And classes meet every other day. I hope I am in the right place at the right time!

Better change that lurid green background to something more subtle.

Know that we love you all, J

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 8:39 PM CDT

My 2-year check-up at the U went well today. I donated body fluids for several tests. All the quick-to-do tests came out fine. We should have word in a week or ten days about the looking-for-bad-gene-fragment test, which will also tell if my immune system is still all Patrona's (that's what we want). I got SEVEN immunizations, finishing up all my baby shots at last. Hooray. I go back in a year. Whoop, whoop!

Highlights of last week's vacation:
* surprising Larry's dissertation advisor with a book of work that he inspired and a party with many old friends
* spending lovely times with Ron, Lisa, Rowan, and Joan, including several lobsters who gave their lives for our enjoyment
* watching until after dark with Lisa as the "reversing falls" did its magical thing (and we were eaten alive by mosquitoes)
* climbing Blue Hill (a very steep hill) with Larry (and a cell phone call at the top!)
* poking around with L,L,R, and R, getting our feet wet in tidal pools, having a fabulous fish and chips lunch
* seeing Aurora from the plane window (must have been the last leg) during our 5-airport tour coming home

And tonight we enjoyed an extraordinarily loud R&B band and danced like white folks to very un-Scandinavian music.

Teacher workshops start tomorrow. School starts in two weeks. I have one of four classes mostly planned at this point. It's hard to know when I will write again. Your J

Thursday, August 10, 2006 7:06 AM CDT

TWO YEARS! Yesssssss! I promise not to be a terrible two-year old.

Thanks and ever thanks and many hugs to all, Jane

Monday, August 7, 2006 6:49 PM CDT

Professor Sepoc is WAY overwhelmed! I'm in a wonderful teaching workshop this week for just one of my classes, and I should spend the whole summer getting ready for that one. But that can't happen, and somehow we'll work it out. Thanks to all for encouraging words!

We leave Saturday for a wonderful week in Maine with Ron, Rowan, Lisa, Joan, and assorted crustaceans and musicians. Some dancers too, we hope.

Garden is so wonderful in August. . . picture above is from Saturday the 29th of July. Harvest this past weekend was about three times as much! I canned a vat of tomato sauce (red and yellow tomatoes, tomatillos, peppers, adn onions all from the garden) on Sunday and should probably do more before we leave. May not happen.

Won what feels like a major battle with my school administrator. Now I have to try to untangle a misunderstanding with museum folk about equipment and chemicals. We'll work it out. Sigh.

Larry has spiffed up the deck and front doors for a group coming over for potluck tomorrow night. Looks very, very fine! JSC

Thursday, August 3, 2006 6:27 AM CDT

Just found out that my teaching schedule for the coming year includes a section of biology in addition to one of physics, two of general chem, and two of honors chem. Don't know when I will breathe.

So I wanted a full-time job. Is this some kind of cosmic revenge?

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Love to all from Jane

Sunday, July 23, 2006 6:19 PM CDT

On Being 89

No, not me, but two incredible souls: our dancing friend Fred and Daniel Schorr.

Last Sunday we attended an amazing party in honor of Fred, who danced almost up to his last day, who was a graphic artist in the grand tradition of 1950's and 60's magazines, who had so many friends that we shared our plates at the dinner that followed a simple and wonderful Episcopal church service in the Ukrainian Center in Minneapolis. I've danced with Fred for the last 6 years and enjoyed his jokes and just sat and enjoyed the music with him too. His circles of friends are so wide and overlapping--musicians, folk dancers of at least 7 flavors, extended and way-extended families. It was a delight to see so many of our friends there, but it was even more wonderful to find that I didn't know even half of the 300 people who showed up. We danced and laughed and told jokes and had a fabulous time. Thanks, Fred!

My friends Adele and Flora showed us the funny face Fred used to greet children. He always greeted me the same way, with a toothy grimace and "scarey hands." Hooray.

Yesterday morning on my way to the pool, I had one of those "driveway moments" with NPR: you know the ones. You can't get out of the car because you have to hear the end of the story. Dan Schorr's voice has been part of my life forever, with radio and television and again radio news. He still makes impassioned, liberal sense of world events although he must have retired years ago. His voice is still strong and his mind is strong. After Dan and Scott Simon talked about the events of the past week, Scott announced that NPR is naming a studio in honor of Dan's coming 90th birthday. And Dan was almost without words, but not quite.

So onward to 90, all of us! May we have our wits and our dancing bodies about us for as long as we can. JSC

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:07 PM CDT

The tomato, she was wonderful! An Early Girl tomato, first to be really, really ripe. This one I planted in the open garden in May. It's mate of the same variety, I planted in a Kosy Kote (water teepee) the last week in April. That protected plant is larger than the later planted one, but it was not the first to have a ripe tomato.

Made a couple of batches of peach jam last night--why do I do this on such a hot night?? Because the peaches were ripe, actually a couple of days too ripe. Lisa and Anne, your names are on some jars.

I'm working in my new office at school, St. Paul Conservatory for Performing Artists in the Landmark Center in downtown St. Paul. The building was formerly a federal court building and postoffice and was rescued from demolition in the late 1970s. It's a stunning building, with one courtroom turned into a recital hall, several small museums (including a cast of Chopin's hand!!!), a very nice auditorium in the basement, and mosaic floors in many places.

I've just about finished making a list of chemistry equipment and chemicals for my three classes. Tomorrow I will work on planning physics labs and try to get a little more done on specific lesson plans. I'm so glad I have only 3 preps this first year. That's plenty, especially with getting all the equipment ordered too.

I'll be back to teaching three more weeks of Science Museum camps, then a teaching workshop, a week in Maine, more planning time with my new colleagues, and then 100 shining faces on September fifth. Whoop, whoop!

August will also bring my immune system's 2-year birthday. I'll sometime have to fit in an appointment at the Bone Marrow Clinic--I used to fit my life around going to the clinic. I love having it the other way around!

And we love hearing how you are too. Stay well. Have another tomato! Janie

Wednesday, July 5, 2006 9:24 PM CDT

FFLLAASSHH!!!! There's one orange-looking grape tomato up in the garden! And several hundred green ones. I don't think it will be ripe tomorrow, but this is the closest I've come to having a ripe one on my birthday. One year my sweet child picked a green tomato and put it at my breakfast spot wrapped in a red sock. That was so dear! Since my new birthday is in August, there's a much better chance to have tomatoes by then. Pretty expensive make-over, though.

This week and next I have a breather from kids' classes. I'm scrambling to choose one more textbook for the fall and working on schedules for physics and two flavors of chemistry classes. I'm getting very excited about working with students for the whole academic year. There's such a lot of great video stuff available now, and great computer-based lab equipment, and more fun things to spend the school's money on!

And miracles have happened on the early morning front--I got to the pool Saturday, Monday, and today and lived to tell about it. I think the months of fitful sleep may be behind me now. I'm still annoyed with the sleep apnea machine, but the drug I'm taking dissuades me from drop-kicking it across the room.

Larry and I enjoyed an evening of dancing to Zydeco music at the History Center on Tuesday night. Quite a workout!

Better be off. Be well, all of you! JSC

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 6:21 PM CDT

This early morning, I had the rare chance to watch our latest batch of wren babies fly out of their house! At first I thought both parent birds were hanging around encouraging the little ones to come out, but the bird on the windowsill was one of the little ones. Their bodies are nearly as large as an adult wren, but their tails are a lot shorter. Pretty soon that one on the windowsill got enough momentum to fly to a nearby tree and the next one in the wrenhouse figured out how to take off too. What a sight! What an inspiration! I did not get to see how many babies were making all that racket. At times it sounded like 10!

With all the spam in the guestbook, I will soon make a new, protected CaringBridge site. I will have to e-mail friends with the new address. Annoying, but I think it is worth it. Those of you with "old" CB sites who do not get spam must be living right!

This week at Mystery Camp things are going well, although two kids went home with migraines. How sad to be so sick and be only 11!

I'm out to see how the garden is doing. Didn't get to the weeding because I was fighting off a cold last weekend. I even skipped dancing, but I'm better tonight. Still have a rattly cough, but I'm not so dragged out.

BIG HUGS to all. Janie

Sunday, June 11, 2006 5:15 PM CDT

Dear Ones, This pair of cool cloudy days has turned sunny and cool, and I'm gathering the rest of my wits to start teaching small chemists tomorrow. I have 8 weeks of classes and camps for the Science Museum, some of them off-site in St. Paul and Hopkins. Kids are so wonderful the first weeks of the summer, and they're so tired of it all by the end. Imagine I will be as well.

Garden is glowing, although the soil is amazingly dry. Last night we had fresh peas (just a few), a few strawberries, and enough rhubarb for a sturdy pie. Biggest tomatoes are about the size of a golf ball, so perhaps there will be a ripe one before the end of July. Have a few chigger bites to show for not being careful enough in the garden, but it's a countable number and not one continuous welt.

Lynn reports "okayness" from Israel, where she has joined college friends for a wedding and some exploring. When she returns this week to NY and DC, she will continue some data collection, measuring teeth of drawf and giant species of everything she can find in two huge museum collections. She certainly has an extended attention span when she gets going on a project. I think this one will be part of her Master's work, which she thinks she'll finish in December.

And I need to do a little research about "food automata" for a class in July, so must close. Do stay well and take care of those on your lists. With many thanks for your love and care for us, I remain, your J

Thursday, June 1, 2006 10:25 AM CDT

June already! Our garden season is so far ahead and hot, sticky weather is upon us. I'm busily working on my summer class plans (handouts, materials lists, new ideas) and starting to live in the new job world also (choosing text books, planning curriculum with my fellow science teacher at the conservatory school, attending end-of-year performances).

We had a wonderful time on the rest of our little trip to KS and MO. It was wonderful to meet Lisa and family and splendid to spend a little time with my sister. I did a bit of genealogy research in Macon, MO, trying to figure out where a sister of my grandfather's was--the family seems to move back and forth between Macon Co, MO and Macon Co, IL in the early 1900's. It's now US routh 36, but it was probably considerably more difficult in those days. Our dance weekend was just super--lots and lots of great music and dancing at a state park near St. Louis. It was hot and dusty and we sweated a great deal. Met many wonderful folks--someone who works with a college classmate of mine, young families, aging hippies, a long-distance truck driver, a Latin teacher, and many more. Then we finished up with a visit to my first home in Illinois and had many hugs and good food with my cousins Judy and Frans. I know I should have taken more pictures, but the feast for the eyes was almost better appreciated without camera.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and am now dealing with fairly significant bone density loss in the last three years--don't know if it could be transplant related. Had some teary moments, but we will continue on. Makes it all the more important to keep dancing!

Our best to you all! Your J

Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:58 AM CDT

Hello from Jefferson City, MO. We're midway in our life's journey. No, that was Chaucer or Dante or Shakespeare! We're midway in our May vacation and have had a wonderful time so far.

We left on Monday the 22nd and arrived in Kansas City to meet Lisa Gardner and Darrell Tierney and share lots of stories. They share two daughters and two sons with both of their former spouses, who live nearby. The family also includes Nola the very loud parrot, Tiffany Sue (a Sheltie wtih a summer haircut), an aloof cat, and a schedule of who-is-where that could require a spreadsheet!

Much as I was tongue-tied trying to write letters to Lisa-Patrona, I'm now at a loss to describe our wonderful conversations. We talked a lot about kids and career changes and how Transplant Day happened in our two worlds. We tucked the plants I brought from Minnesota into the dense Missouri clay. Most of them started out as gifts from my mother many years ago, so it's even more wonderful to share them.

Larry is picking out a photo at this very moment. We're in a little coffee shop, and he's also i-chatting with his mother. Does technology have no limits??

We had a fine visit with my sister near Springfield, MO--I got to admire her many, many special iris plants and we shared some photos and family stories before we continued on yesterday.

Lynn reports that she's landed in DC and is glad to be measuring some stuff at the Smithsonian. She will be in lots of other places this summer!

Today I'm looking for some genealogy clues about a half-sister of my grandfather Snell's in Macon, MO. I don't know what I'll find, but it's fun to look. And then we'll dance, and dance, and dance starting Friday evening.

Looking forward to stopping in Blue Mound on our way home to see cousins Judy and Frans and the "Old Home."

Take care of everyone on your lists and we'll do the same. Love from J & L

Saturday, May 20, 2006 5:47 PM CDT

Lynn just called with crummy news: her apartment complex in Tempe is being sold and turned into condos. She is away for the summer (leaving Wednesday for DC, NY, Israel, back to NY and DC, maybe here for a few days), and really doesn't have time to hunt for something else. She might actually apply for a mortgage at 23 and own a condo! Seems totally outrageous, but this is a different world from 1971 when I finished my first year of grad school. As we talked she began to feel a little better. She's singing two more concerts this weekend (Ives and Beethovan 9th) with chorus of the Phoenix Symphony. I'm so glad she's made time to sing this spring.

This week I constantly pulled off one hat, jammed on another, and tried to figure out which life I was leading. Sunday I joined dancing friends Rebecca and Beth and 50,000 others at the 5k breast cancer walk. It made me so sad that this disease is still killing so many people, but I heard survivors greeting and encouraging each other with such positive words. I was honored to join with so many brave folks.

My Science Museum teaching is finished until mid-June, so I helped with second grade field trips at an outdoor science center just south of here. I'm on the science advisory board for this place, and it was a treat to be outdoors four days in a row. Weather was "some of each," but it didn't actually soak us any day. I had wool socks on at least once.

I've met with my new science department colleague at the Conservatory and discovered I'm teaching physics next year also! I believe they chose me because I can, but I don't remember talking about it in the interview! I've requested examination copies of several books (for two flavors of chemistry and the physics), so I hope they will be here when we return from our trip. And ordering physics equipment EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK! It'll be OK.

Today I played in the dirt: planted eggplant and pepper plants, beans, and cucumbers. Watered everything and said little prayers for them to grow. It's so amazing that we plant seeds that grow into plants that feed us and make more seeds for next year. What a gift. I dug a couple of boxes of plants to take to Lisa (Patrona), whom we will meet on Monday. My heart is full to overflowing.

Our trip will take us to Kansas City, southern Missouri (to see my sister), northern Missouri (a bit of genealogy work), and St. Louis (for an awesome dance weekend). We'll come home by way of my Blue Mound home, where my cousins Judy and Frans live. It will be so good to see them and see how plants have grown and the house has prospered. We might even see some new Giant Things, who knows??

Dancing tonight and tomorrow. Larry went to an afternoon dance today while I got dirtier and tried to cross things off my list. I think I don't need to can rhubarb until we get back. I will pack up some jam and pickles for various stops on the way. I'm rambling.

Three years ago today, leukemia came into our lives. We've learned how many arms surround us and how incredibly precious good health is. What a trip.

Our arms are around all of you, JSC

Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:12 PM CDT

It's official: I've just been hired by the St. Paul Conservatory for Performing Artists to be their new chemistry teacher starting in September! It's a charter school the meets in a beautiful building a couple of blocks from the Science Museum, and labs will be in one of the classrooms at SMM.

I am SO tired of job-hunting. Hooray. Whoop. Etc. JSC

Friday, May 5, 2006 7:38 PM CDT

While Lynn works away at her final papers, projects, and exams and checks off each one, we have a few entries this week as well:

one ultrasound test--check
one colonoscopy--check
one 6:30 AM mammogram--check
one grant proposal submitted--check
one bone density test--check
three classes taught--check
four broccoli plants in the ground--check
one fabulous challenge contradance--check
one comforting counseling hour--check
ten plants repotted--check
five SuDoku puzzles finished--check
one batch of cookies sent to favorite grad student--almost checked
two estimates for car repairs--check
one job application sent in--check (and I have an interview next week!!)

I MUST have done something else this week other than medical appointments, which were all relatively routine, but several were rescheduled from last week. I did hack away at the forest for a couple of days. And finished a big project to make a high school chemistry lab in a room at the Science Museum--it's really fun to spend someone else's money! This is for a newish charter school in St. Paul for performing artists. And I'm going to convince them that they need me as their chemistry teacher on Wednesday next week. Stay tuned. Hugs to you all! JSC

Saturday, April 29, 2006 5:37 PM CDT

Time to update our page--what a lot of busyness going on!

Today I helped supervise a 400-student, 5000-tree planting event in the rain at a flood-plain park in St. Paul. Kids were such hard workers, although many of them wore garbage bags as rain gear. One of my fellow supervisors works at the Bone Marrow Transplant Center (the place that finds donors!), so we had quite a talk! Great River Greening is the organization that makes all this happen.

On Wednesday I hit a wild turkey on the highway, which was bad for the turkey and also bad for the car. I haven't gotten an estimate of the repair work yet. I'm very sorry about the turkey.

Numerous Copeses and a Pribanic have come and gone--Larry's brother plays with the Juilliard String Quartet, who offered a wonderful concert last Friday in Stillwater. We celebrated Laura's 86th birthday here with a brunch on Saturday. Lots of other things happened, including 3 adults acquiring Rowan's G.I. virus--it had me throwing up all night and staying in bed the following day. But all's well now.

Larry is away at a math meeting in St. Louis and will be back tomorrow.

Our Garden Friend Rebecca made me do it! I put 5 tomato plants in the garden inside Walls o' Water (an invention from Winnipeg that should keep them from freezing) on Thursday evening. I have another 5 on the deck, but I can bring them inside if needed. I think spring is about 3 weeks early here this year.

I have 3 busy weeks of teaching, and then we travel to Missouri and Kansas to meet Patrona and family, see my sister Barb, and attend a big dance weekend in St. Louis on Memorial Day weekend. Wow! Much love to you all, JSC

Friday, April 14, 2006 6:38 PM CDT

Spring is all gone already, and it's summer weather. Something will surely happen to change this story. Bet I'll have to wait til June to plant tomatoes!

Things happen so FAST in April: last snow gone from the ditches, rhubarb and garlic leaves emerging, first daffodils, lots more little leaves coming out, first seeds into the garden! Nature falls all over herself to make things happen this time of the year. And I always think I can move the world in April. Weeds catch up all too soon.

But I must crow about my lilttle trip to see Lynn! We had such a good time. I left on Thursday the 6th. I got to see her office (tiny and dark) and apartment (very, very spiffy), we did some grocery shopping and thought about all the things we wanted to do. Supper at Mongolian Barbeque was lots of fun--the gig is to pile as much food as possible in one bowl since you can pay a little extra for a take-home box. I saw many creative ways to pile noodles!

On Friday I got to attend Lynn's Dental Anthropology class with a very energetic professor. He had been ill most of fall term, but I would never have known it that day. I really enjoy trying to figure out the architecture of thinking in another field. My life as a ceramic engineer (long ago) flashed before me as slides of dental microstructure appeared on the screen. Lynn studied for the afternoon and I read, napped, and looked at maps to plan an outing for Saturday. At some point, we went shopping for a sewing machine and figured out how to make a little table in part of a closet. Grinding a shelf down 1/4 inch took me most of the weekend without many tools. So glad I have opposable thumbs!

We went to the Desert Botanical Garden on Saturday. It's right in Phoenix, and it was better than a hundred-mile trip considering the homework and exam studying Lynn had to do. We stopped for pedicures on our way back to campus--nice treat!

On Sunday we bought some plants (wonderful inspirations from the Bot Garden) and dirt and built a little garden on Lynn's patio. I don't know if it will get enough sun, but it is very bright from reflected light. And then things started breaking: the garbage disposal choked and died. Both kitchen sinks backed up. Ishy stuff from the garbage disposal (artichoke fibers--ah, no wonder it choked!) sprayed all over the dishes in the dishwasher. After I washed the dishes in the bathtub (doesn't everyone?), I went out for some deli food because neither of us wanted to make more dirty dishes. Sometime in the middle of the night, a buried sprinkler erupted in the new little garden and sprayed water and dirt all over the patio.

Haven't heard if all the repairs have been accomplished. I came home on Monday to teach a pretty strenuous 10-classes-in-4-day-week. And the whole entire schedule COMPLETELY fell apart. I won't even describe how nutty it was, but it included classes not knowing they were supposed to come, another class that thought they were supposed to come but weren't, and getting a call on Thursday to come in to teach the Friday class because there was no school today. I have NO IDEA what my next week's schedule is at this point! We've already rescheduled so many times, and I don't have many available days left.

Better stop this blather or you'll all be asleep. Thanks and ever thanks for all your care and support. It feels like such a miracle to be digging, planting, teaching, and enjoying (almost) every minute! JSC

Monday, April 3, 2006 5:11 PM CDT

Ah, April. At last. Finished three second grade classes at 2 PM, and I am just about to go back into town for a meeting about a summer camp. The total for the last 5 and a half weeks is: 49 classes and 6 camp meetings. TWO six day weeks. April will be better. May will be better. I really need some time to work on advertising for work beyond the summer. The hurrier I go the behinder I get.

Signs of spring: snow is almost gone from our last ditch. Lots of sprouts in little pots. I even felt sorry for the minuscule garlic bits left from last fall. They were too small even to peel and eat so I've potted them up for a bit of green indoors. Daylight saving time feels like jet lag, and it is dark again in the mornings. A crazed cardinal keeps flying into one window or another. We are emptying jars instead of filling them. Also finishing up bits of the summer tucked into the freezer--there's still a little okra and a few hot peppers. Last summer's onions are almost gone, and I had to buy garlic last week. Just can't plant enough to last the season!

Thursday I get to go to see Lynn for a loooooong weekend. We will play and have fun in Phoenix/Tempe. I can't wait to see her office and apartment. Wheeeeeeee.

Better go or the traffic will be awful. Our very best to all, especially to lurkers who surprise me with a dear comment as a Nameless One did this morning! Jane

Thursday, March 23, 2006 5:33 PM CST

Just have to crow that we have snowdrops today! I noticed in my garden journal that the first ones bloomed last year on March 23rd and thought there'd be no way they would be out. But the snow has melted from that little flower bed, and there they are.

You might be interested in
THIS

It's about me! Love to you all, J

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 5:56 PM CST

Same teacher on Monday. Same thing happened. I came very close to crying. My class was pretty bad. On Tuesday, I had 45 minutes to eat, strike, and set up what I needed, and it was much better (different group of kids too). GRRRRRRR. J

Saturday, March 18, 2006 9:18 AM CST

Dear Ones, I've promised myself a real weekend for a change after a "challenging" week. A little cooking, getting package in the mail, putting a few seeds in pots, getting ready for next week and the week after, dancing tonight, reading something I don't have to read . . . like thinking I can move the garden world single-handedly in the early spring! Maybe some of that will happen. Anne, you cannot escape: we will have lunch together tomorrow!

Bookends to the week: I was to have taught 13 classes in 6 days, my most manic schedule yet. Summer camps have 3 classes each of 5 days, but it's mostly the same activities for one day with 3 different groups of children, and there are counselors to help. Last Sunday I enjoyed a great group of kids in a Chemical Potions class. We made wonderful messes, and I had enough cabbage juice left over for the rest of the week. Monday we had a really big dump of very wet snow. Two of my three classes were cancelled, but I had to slide into town for the third. Teacher and students did not show up and did not call me to say they weren't coming. Hmmmph.

T and W brought small wizards (after school in a suburb) and larger wizards at the museum. Lots of hilarity. Oh, and a meeting with summer teachers about a new camp called Chemistry Cooks after work on W. Insomnia reigned Wednesday night, and I nearly got up to write a little prose poem about not sleeping at 3:15. Thursday on my way into work, I slipped and fell flat on my back on an icy sidewalk and whacked my head in the bargain. Fortunately I didn't have time to fight the laws of physics, so I landed flat without twisting anything. Did manage to teach two classes and get to the clinic to find no broken bones! And not too many tears. My neck was quite sore--just muscle stress--Friday; a bit better today after a hot shower. Lower back is much better; big bruise covers one elbow, but it is not broken. Friday's Wizard class was just fine, and we finished all our projects. Got the kids out the door at 12:10, with 45 minutes to eat, clean up the room, and get ready for my 1 PM class.

They came at 12:14. I stared but did not scream. This is the same teacher who did not appear on Monday. She had only 10 kids at school, but she could have called me! So I scraped up the pieces and taught a very energetic dry ice class, and we had a lot of fun.

Did I mention an elementary science teachers' workshop at the museum last weekend? I needed some "adult time" and got some great inspirations. One session was about making books with children, especially about math and science topics--so much better than worksheets! It really opened my eyes. I right away decided to teach kids to make little accordian-folded books with covers and ribbon ties this week--nearly 100 of them in several classes. Most of the kids made their book about dry ice and wet ice, but there were also cartoon books, several poems, a few autograph books, and I don't need to know what else.

You've probably gone to sleep by now, but it is so reviving to have the gift of a new idea that makes so much sense! With precut paper and covers, it takes about 45 minutes, including time for kids to write in their books. I found the hard parts in the first class, made a big mistake with ribbons in the third class, and thoroughly enjoyed all of them. Larry has the camera this morning or I would post some pictures.

Thanks, thanks, for all your encouragements. We are fortunate beyond words. Your J

Monday, March 13, 2006 7:16 PM CST

In one of the deepest ironies of Minnesota and winter and children and jet travel, Lynn was here this morning. She was on her way back to Phoenix from Anchorage, and we might have had a hug or a Krispy Kreme or something together.

But. It was really, really snowing. Her plane to get here was late, so she had to run to catch the connection at 7 AM. We talked briefly at that point, but I certainly couldn't get out of the driveway without a LOT of plowing. Our school district was closed today, so the county roads weren't plowed out yet either. And she was almost on a plane anyway.

My first and third classes today were cancelled before I needed to leave the house. Middle class, with St. Paul kids who walk to the museum, should have been OK. I called the school, left a message for the teacher, etc., etc., etc., while Larry coaxed the snowblower along through almost a foot of really wet snow. We hoped Lynn was on her way, but she called at 10 AM to say she was still on a plane waiting to leave, and they wouldn't let anyone off to get food!

I finally got to the Museum on really, really slick roads and waited and waited and waited for my class. Left another message for the teacher. No luck. So I came home. Lynn called again and was finally back in Phoenix after a 5 hour delay, most of it spent on the plane on the ground 10 miles from home.

And her mother and father couldn't even bring her a Girl Scout cooky, which was the original plan before all of this white stuff. Sigh. If she had gotten off the plane, they would have cancelled her reservation, and she couldn't get back to Phoenix until Thursday because so many flights were cancelled today.

Oh irony, thy name is March. Best wishes to you all from J

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 6:03 PM CST

Hello friends, March has begun, and I don't know when I will have my head above water next. I'm teaching 23 or 24 of the 31 days in March, several different classes on some days, in two different locations quite often, several weekend days, etc., etc., etc. I'm treating this month like a long run of a Broadway show. I've rehearsed all I can, my costumes and props are ready, and I need to meet my audiences. There are some classes toward the murky end of March that I haven't quite planned, but surely there will be a little time one of these days to figure out how to make volcanoes with many wild 5th graders. Stay tuned.

Sleep issues are still issues. I did have a miracle last Friday night and was able to get up on Saturday to get to the pool. First time in a really long time. I used to love sleeping and getting up early in the morning. But no more. It feels like a long way back to that time. Wonder if it was drugs that helped me sleep better. Hmmm.

I repotted a couple of plants and put some seeds in the refrigerator to stratify and poked a few more into some dirt. Nice to play in the dirt. I hope this will be a good garden year. I always think I can move the world in the spring.

See you sometime in April. Oh! I get to see Lynn at her house in April! Whoop, whoop! Oh! Later in April, lots of fine family are coming to hear the Juilliard Quartet play in Stillwater on the 21st. More whoopage! April will be fine! March will be OK.

Tomorrow is Dr. Suess's birthday. Read to a kid. Even if you have to call up a kid on the telephone, read to a kid tomorrow! Love to you all, Janie

Monday, February 20, 2006 6:21 PM CST

Messages from Alice

I think that's who they're from. I stopped by a different grocery store last week for some vegetables and milk. This store sells Schoeder dairy products, which we don't usually have. And yesterday Alice spoke to me . . .

On the half-and-half carton is printed: for those who are confident in their decisions.

On the skim milk: for those who get what they want.

And the buttermilk spoke too: for those who know what to do with it.

Such philosophy must be coming from the beyond. That's all there is to it!

So friends of irony, poetry, and dairy products, what has your milk container said to you? What's with these Schroeder folks anyway?

It's a little gift, a little whiff of grace from somewhere. Thanks. JSC

Saturday, February 11, 2006 4:09 PM CST

Such a short visit at the BMT clinic yesterday! Larry couldn't believe we were through in an hour!

Boring, boring, boring. Everything looks fine. Blood counts are fine (a little low on whites because of this virus I'm almost finished with). We actually skipped doing liver enzymes and other chemistry tests. This time last year I was getting them checked twice a week!! We should have the PCR (looking for leukemia DNA markers) results back in a couple of weeks. And go back in August! Whoop, whoop. Dr. Tomblyn says I don't have to have more bone marrow biopsies unless the blood tests start looking odd. THAT'S something to look forward to!

Sun is shining. I might not go dancing tonight--trying to keep from coughing all over everyone. Working on some teaching plans and repacking stuff. I have a lighter teaching schedule for the next couple of weeks. March will be really busy, though.

Many hugs to all, JSC

Wednesday, February 8, 2006 9:35 AM CST

Still fighting off a cold, cough, etc. I postponed a class from Monday until next week, but teaching yesterday went pretty well. I have a long afternoon class today and two short ones tomorrow. Still have to invent a magnetic activity for today and see a new exhibit and buy some coffee . . .

Oh, yes, and that 18-month clinic visit coming up on Friday--by now, I make the clinic fit my schedule, instead of the other way around. Nice change!

Many electronic hugs to you all . . . the real ones would be far too germy. JSC

Thursday, February 2, 2006 11:18 AM CST

Happy Groun Dog Day to all. February needs its high concentration of holidays to make it bearable. We're looking at a bit of old snow, but it's been really warm so far in 2006 (warmest January since 1846).

I'm influencing young minds fairly well these days--no big melt-downs for the last few weeks. Trying to plan far enough ahead that I can use materials from one class for another one coming up, building models of projects so kids have some idea what my hand-waving means, and so forth.

Sleep apnea and insomnia are plaguing me. Am countering same with self-taught yoga and trying to change some sleep habits. I keep thinking that I must go to bed earlier if I want to get up earlier. But apparently that is just the opposite of what works--stay up later to sleep more soundly to be more rested. Hmmm.

Hope the sun shines brightly where you are. It's there above the clouds, but sometimes it's hard to remember that. Love from JSC

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 9:23 AM CST

Hello dear friends, First of all, I am grateful for health insurance, although I pay for it myself. Other self-employed friends assure us that insurance can count as a business expense, so that is very helpful on the tax front. It may be that Larry and I can look into the health savings accounts at some point

But now I must brag about my success in approaching the health care and insurance maze! I've changed the "flavor" of my insurance to save a little money, but it means that I have to have referrals from my primary physician to see specialists, even if I have been under their care with my previous "flavor." This week, I've managed to get those referrals updated, put a counseling appointment on the calendar, schedule my 18-month post-transplant check-up, plan to see my sleep apnea torturer (no, she's a nurse-practicianer, spelled some other way), and schedule a physical. Those appointments are in February and March, not all this week. Oh, I need to call the dentist too. But just to have such success on the phone (and in person at one location) is amazing. Just a few minutes ago I was whining about how hard it was to leap the hurdles of the system. Then someone with whom I left a message called me back! Hooray.

Small victories. And another: on February 10th (a year-and-a-half since transplant) I DON'T have to have a bone marrow biopsy! If there is something suspicious in my blood tests, they'll have me back for one I'm sure. I think this a good thing. The 1/05 and 8/05 biopsies showed no leukemia and all donor cells. It should be OK. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm a little worried. But it will be FINE not to be in a morphine haze for a whole day. That's a good thing.

Lots of students this week: many 5th graders, who absorbed lots of my energy. Today and tomorrow are home-schooled groups, who have and need lots of energy. Then Friday I have no classes. I have another job application to get in, so that will be a good thing for Friday.

Thanks for your ceaseless support for us. We're surrounded by your love and care. JSC

Monday, January 16, 2006 8:29 AM CST

Hello friends, I see this tiny little red squirrel outside--I'm sure it would fit inside our special squirrel-proof bird feeder, so I'm reluctant to fill it. I guess this is species-ism, for which I do not apologize.

However, I want to give a big THANKS to my friend Joyce's Carpenters' Local, where a very successful blood drive happened earlier this month. She had organized their first drive last winter and wanted to tell my story to encourage people to participate. I was so overwhelmed by her kindness and the card signed by a whole wad of people--she had kept it a secret until it happened. THIS year she invited me to come to meet the folks and say thanks in person. That was way cool, and I so much appreciated the chance to do it! I asked at the donation desk if I could sign up, just in case Red Cross has cancelled the ban on transplant recipients ever donating blood again . . . but no luck. Hmmm.

And great gobs of THANKS go to all of you who sent thanks messages for me to send to Lisa (Patrona), my wonderful donor. I didn't publicize the request here because I know she reads the website, but I do want to let you know how much she appreciated the pile of cards that arrived just after Christmas:
**********************
Dear Jane~
Today I have just received one of the best Christmas gifts ever...the
package of letters you sent. I am overwhelmed by all the kind words, but
even better is the gift of other voices which makes you more real to me. I
can't even describe what it means to me to read stories about you and how so
many people have come to love you. Life is precious...YOUR life is precious
to so many, and to me too.
Thanks so much for sharing your friends and family with me...i am at a loss
for words.
Peace and blessings to you and your family in 2006~
lisa
*********************
So I will close, dear ones, by repeating my thanks for your continued love and care for us. Even a cloudy day is a good day. JSC

Sunday, January 1, 2006 5:06 PM CST

I promise a long New Year's update, but just wanted to get a new picture up and say that our holidays were just dazzling. Chrismas with Larry's family in Sarasota, a great contradance last night in Minneapolis, and enough snow to enjoy snowshoeing today. And black-eyed peas for dinner! What could top that?

I'm still working on parts of a big data base of parent resources for the Science Museum and have more writing to do tomorrow. Spent much of Thursday finding images for the website that will house the information: books, places to go, activities to do with kids, etc. I'm trying to write briefly and invitingly with enough detail to carry the story without too many words.

Just before Christmas I sent off a batch of cards from friends to Lisa Gardner, my bone marrow donor. I didn't want to announce it here because she does visit the website, but if others of you want to add to the thanks, send it to me (address below) and I will forward it.

More later for sure, JSC

Friday, December 16, 2005 10:28 AM CST day 493

I think I'll stop formally counting days at 500.

Today, I'd like to send up a big cheer for Lynn Erin Copes, favorite daughter! She's just finished a semester of graduate school in physical anthropology (which she reports was not enough challenge), and she is a wonderfully generous person who donates platelets EVERY WEEK!

I'm so fortunate not to have needed blood products at any time during the transplant saga, but many, many people do. Lynn spends two hours every Saturday donating what is often 3 units of platelets (she's got lots), even after she had bad reactions to the process her first couple of times. Then she spends another couple of hours volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House at a Phoenix hospital, just helping families out with whatever they need. I think she's a really wonderful person, and I'm not a bit biased.

So. Cheers for Lynn!!!! Hooray, hooray, hooray! [She will complain that the picture is old and her hair is shorter now.] Love to you all, JSC

Saturday, December 10, 2005 1:17 PM CST Day 487

Dear ones, I'm going to let the glue dry and the cooky dough chill and the piles of stuff stay where they are for a few minutes. I'm struggling with a project for a party tomorrow, and it needs calming thoughts.

I'm doing a birthday party tomorrow for a kid who was in one of my Science Museum classes this fall. He's asked for a Toy Making party, and one of the toys just isn't working. It's a perfectly wonderful Mouse Trap Car

http://users.bigpond.net.au/mechtoys/mouse.html

which I have modified to avoid having to do metal lathe work and letting welded stuff cool before 10-year-olds handle it. Well, maybe not THAT modified, but I have put a lot of time into getting little kits together than kids can finish in less than an hour.

The mousetrap spring's energy powers the rear axle (the bekexcel, according to a Yiddish joke I can no longer remember), but it's such a strong spring that the wheels slip instead of rolling along nicely. We've searched three stores for thick rubber bands to give the wheels a little more grip, but with no luck. So stay tuned. I still have some more stuff to get ready for the party, and I want to DANCE tonight.

Two students broke my heart this past week, and over the same experiment, the same little Thickening Potion. One child, in a classroom with three adults present, took a big sniff of a powder that gels water. Our experiment was something entirely different from getting sodium polyacrylate in children's nasal mucosa. There was no school nurse in the school, and he didn't get proper first aid, in my opinion. I filled out an incident report, and said child kept sneezing. I don't expect his sinuses to solidify, but he should have had his nose irrigated, if only to remind him of why his trick was a really bad idea.

And yesterday, at the end of an absolutely wonderful 5th grade class, two of my vials of the same polymer were missing. The teacher finally got a student to confess and return one of them. He was sent to the principal and wrote me an apology. But of course he took the powder because he just wanted to do the experiment again! I guess chemistry is just too tempting. Just four more of those classes this next week!

[Hooray! A squirrel outside the window is actually digging up something to eat rather than ravaging the bird feeders, which, by the way, have already been ravaged by other squirrels. Hmmmm.]

And good, dear Phil Thompson died this week. He and his wife Kathy Cork have been a huge inspiration for Lynn's passion for Old Things. Their Family Fossil class we attended in 1991 started us on a fabulous adventure. Phil had surgery last week for lung cancer and had a number of complications. I'll try to get to a gathering of friends tomorrow between all the other events of a too-busy Sunday in December.

Off to try to find some rubber bands or to cook up something to make good wheels roll less well. May all your wheels roll just the right way! Janie

Tuesday, December 6, 2005 11:51 AM CST

Unambiguous winter has arrived. It's amazing how many things are clearer now. I can put away T-shirts, get out the flannel sheets, forget about moving those few daffodil bulbs, postpone raking more leaves for the garden, wait til April to finish cleaning up the garden, enjoy the seed catalogs that have started to arrive, get serious about knitting again, stop hunting for the perfect gingko leaf, and so on.

I love the fall, especially a slow, oozingly beautiful one like this year's. But we were able to work outdoors long into November--thankfully for the future of the woodpile--and it was a treat to have warm weather until just recently.

Nights are longer, days are shorter and colder. Squirrels are working harder to get into the birdfeeders. There must be a solution! Why don't they eat acorns, of which there are millions for free??

We thank you again and again for your gifts of love and friendship and care. JSC

Saturday, November 19, 2005 10:30 AM CST DAY 100 plus 365!

No, no, not 365 factorial! Just exclamation points in excess!!!

This is a very thank-filled anniversary today. A year ago, we made it to the tremendously-iconic-for-transplantees 100 Days. It's almost as wonderful as the 100 day celebration for kindergarteners, and here's a whole year more.

My family have been my cheerleaders, transporters, tear-wipers, oh you don't want to know all the roles. My Patrona, Lisa Gardner, who is a UCC minister in suburban Kansas City, KS, provided the gift of perfect little marrow cells who have grown into an awesome new immune system for me. So many caregivers at Fairview University Hospital and Clinic have given me pills, shots, procedures, advice, courage, and fabulous support. Our friends and neighbors all over the world have held us in the light, brought food, visited when I wasn't ready to be alone, sent cards and e-mails and prayers, and believed this could happen.

I'm celebrating at home today (ooh, sun just came out) with another batch of Hot Lava Applesauce in the canner. Picked the apples at neighbor Jim and Kerry's last weekend. And have been cooking and mashing at them and staring at the pot in the refrigerator until I had a little time to get them in jars this morning. Odd how some varieties of apples just don't mush down! It'll still be delicious, and it is so wonderful to go into winter with the pantry realy full. We'll cut a little more firewood today and move some. And dance, dance, dance tonight.

Had some snow this week. Enjoyed a big class of 5th grade Wizards doing messy potions and projects at the museum. I'll try to capture their hats for you. Started a K,1 class on Wacky Inventions in Mendota Heights, participated in a workshop with community science partners, went to Greg's wonderful party last night, and then on to Diane's play. And I still turned down some work. I'm beating myself up less this week about work stresses. I'm still seeking some formal counseling, but I'm sobbing and screeching considerably less than a few weeks back.

Hope to contact many of you over the next few days to express my thanks for your support. In the meantime, please donate blood or platelets or both. Volunteer and donate money to the Red Cross. Consider being a marrow donor or make a monetary gift to the National Marrow Donor Foundation. Tell Caringbridge how much you appreciate this incredible community-building service.

With many, many moles of thanks, Janie

Thursday, November 10, 2005 4:57 PM CST day 457

Hello friends, I'm amazed that anyone still reads this drivel. But thanks, and thanks for compliments and proppings up.

Yesterday was Printer Gremlin Day at Zoidburrow, and we're not quite recovered yet. I was working efficiently away about 11 AM (with a 1:30 class looming) when the printer, who had been blinking its little "no ink no way" light for at least a week, decided it wouldn't go any more. It HAD been just FINE. So I'm off to the office store to get ink cartridges (black and all the colors). I really like the concept of CYAN, don't you? Should have named a child that.

Put new cartridges in. Press the buttons. Paper comes out but nothing is printed on it. Whine, wake Larry up from a nap, fuss, fume, grab a bit of lunch, and decide I'll have to finish writing last night and print stuff at Kinko's. We have three computers and three printers in the house at this time, but nothing would work.

Wearily return from a long, extremely fun class of homeschoolers. Decide to call in sick. Big panic attack. Lost two big files and had to re-do them. Tears and more tears. Deep breathing exercises. Larry to the rescue. He assembled the picture pages to match my experiment directions, left for Kinko's at 10:30 PM for what should have been a half hour job, and got back a little after midnight. At Kinko's, guess what? One of their printers spewed out 200 sheets of blank paper too!!! Must have been hilarious, but I'm very glad I was not there.

And my two classes today were just wonderful. I enjoyed the students so much! Experiments are about the right length. I should reprint the directions in a little better format, but I can cut the printed color picture pages to put together pages and laminate them. Next performance is on Monday the 21st, and I only teach half-days next week.

Whew. Did I mention that my Monday classes were the ABSOLUTE WORST? I will not mention the school. Please, readers, don't ask where. I will NOT go back there. I am not devoid of classroom management skills. I have to believe the difference between today and Monday is not me.

OK. Supper now. Tomorrow I'll repack my boxes for Wizard Week (repeat of a 10-hour sequence I taught in October) and maybe take in a quilt and fabric show. Maybe.

Many sentences in this little essay have no verbs or no subjects. You may edit as needed.

Our Massachusetts friend Ted Barton is moving back to Oregon after most of his adult life on the east coast, and he's stopping by to see us this weekend. We were wondering if it would be kind to give him the loft in my study for a bed, and Larry reminded me that "Ted is almost as old as we are." Funny how those four years made a big difference when one of us was 18!

I think we'll have to buy a new printer. Sigh. A Cost of Business I guess, but we're really not trying to run a non-profit agency here.

Did I say I love all of you? Well I do. J

Tuesday, November 8, 2005 6:05 PM CST day 455

Hello friends, Well, I'm down to the dress rehearsals for my school residency on polymers that starts on Thursday. It's a St. Paul-Mpls program called GET READY, funded by a US program called GEAR UP. Trying to get kids below 7th grade from families who haven't pursued post-HS education to think about vocational school, college, community college, etc. I get to visit 34 classrooms in 7 schools, 5th and 6th graders. About a third of the schools are scheduled so far before Christmas. May have to visit some in January too.

So I have about 90 minutes to introduce some topic, invite students to do some experiments, and wrap up with something memorable about staying in school. I have three experiments with polymers for them: finding out how much water a little bit of "diaper polymer" (sodium polyacrylate, the Thickening Potion) will absorb; linking paper clips, Lego blocks, and real molecular models to show some structure; and sorting food packaging polymers by density in several solutions. I finished packing stuff today, took photos for direction sheets, and brought it all home to make sure I didn't forget the foo-foo dust or something else important.

I've got a lot of writing to do tonight! And a long afternoon class tomorrow too. "How can they expect us to write a book report of any quality in just three days?????" I'm with Charlie Brown in needing a little more rest to make sure my brain isn't too stressed. Panic is such a great motivator.

Stay tuned! J

Tuesday, November 1, 2005 8:03 AM CST

A little bit of good news: Journal of Chemical Education will publish my article "The Chemical Wizardry of J.K. Rowling" in the October 2006 issue. I had been working at the manuscript for a very long time, and had enough energy about this time last year to dig in and finish it. Several layers of rumptions later, the Journal says YES. I'll make sure to save copies for fans.

This week includes teaching my teen group this morning, a home-schooled chemistry club (many 7-year-olds and several older kids) Wednesday afternoon, getting ready for the first classes of a very big polymer residency on the 10th, and work on a big database of resources for parents with "science-crazed kids" for the Science Museum. I guess all my work right now is for the museum, but I had a call yesterday to do a birthday party in December.

I did get to the pool yesterday. Also went to visit my dear friend Lois in the hospital. She fell last week and broke her hip. We all know far too many elderly folks for whom that is the last injury, but she was fiesty and alert yesterday. We placed a bet (both on the same side) that she'll be back swimming before Christmas. She moves to a rehab-care facility in St. Paul today. Lois is in her 80's and is as dear to me as my own mother. Please keep her in your strongest thoughts for a rapid recovery.

Onward! I managed to unpile some piles yesterday and get two classes planned. Not the 8 hours work on new projects, but at least I stuck with tasks and got them done.

Love to you all, JSC

Saturday, October 29, 2005 7:32 PM CDT

Four good therapies:

� skipped Habitat job yesterday afternoon due to tears. I would have been a hazard even with hand tools.

� had tea and much sympathy with Larry and decided to see Dr. Tomblyn next week.

� went to a Beethoven piano recital and came home drenched in fabulous melody. A late Mozart encore couldn't possibly have been Mozart!

� had my Chemical Potions students in the palm of my hand in class this afternoon (yes, 6 days of teaching in a row this week). We all had such fun, and they would almost not leave at 4 PM!

I'm trying to look too far ahead. It always gets to me. But shouldn't I be able to look ahead to being really employed again? Now? Soon? When? Ug.

Thanks, all, for the proppings up. Thanks. Janie

Thursday, October 27, 2005 7:25 PM CDT

Please leave me a message, you lurkers you. I'm really, really discouraged right now, and I need to hear from you. You don't have to leave your real name or e-mail address. Just make up something. JSC

Monday, October 24, 2005 7:45 PM CDT

Inspired young wizards for a couple of hours this morning, got ready for another day's classes, GOT TO THE GYM!!!!!, got 5 shots (flu shot and boosters for my baby shots that started in August), visited the new Target in West St. Paul (getting dinosaur jammies for Rowan), and now I'm sobbing about the wreck of my career. Why am I reduced to working an hour here and an hour there (6 days in a row this week) after all these years of studying and planning and following the rules? I've applied for a great variety of other jobs the past two years and gotten exactly ZERO interviews, much less offers. I am so tired of hearing "oh, you are so talented" when I have no job security, hardly any savings, no stable set of colleagues, no mentor, and no idea past December of what little bits of work I'll be able to turn up.

Escaping into a mystery novel. UG. J

Friday, October 21, 2005 5:46 PM CDT day 437

Hello friends, This week I'm just producing a list of "ordinarly life events," nothing very profound. Except that I'm alive and enjoying little details such as:

Monday I got a letter from Lisa/Patrona! She's a busy UCC minister with four lively children and lives in Kansas. Her donor center is called "Heart of America," which just says it all, doesn't it? As is true for many donors, she signed on some years ago for a different person but was not a match at that time. Thankfully for me, she was willing and able to send on some perfect cells to replace mine. We're all hoping to get together at some time, maybe "half-way between" our homes. It would be such a thrill.

Tuesday I enjoyed my teen group at the Science Museum. Eight students and two adults come for a couple of hours every Tuesday. They teach me so much about another world--some of them would be in jail if they weren't in an alternative high school. At least one has no reading and writing skills. I fear for her survival in any job situation! Their program works very hard on social development, and I try to add some science fun. They need so much praise and encouragement! It's an honor to be with them, but very exhausting.

Tuesday night I put on my "extrovert" mask and went to an event at the LOFT literary center. Representatives from magazines published in Minnesota attended, and a big wad of writers came also. I had a very hard time meeting any publishers, but the writers I met were very kind and interesting. I think some of us may have said out loud, "I am a writer," for the first time that evening!

Wednesday I had lunch with a friend who was a section superintendant for St. Paul for many years. She is doing some free-lance teaching, and helped me with a lot of good ideas on other venues. Chez Colette is a splendid place for lunch! That evening Larry had a meeting at church, so I went alone to an event for Blood and Marrow recipients and care givers. Wonderful desserts, good conversation, seeing friends Greg and Laurie, and great music from Neal and Leandra (local singer-songwriters who alway make me cry), Weissman Art Museum with a beautiful sunset along the Washington Ave Bridge--what a perfect setting.

Thursday and Friday mornings I taught 6-8 year olds in a Potions class at the Museum. They are SO YOUNG! We managed to make a couple of pretty fine potions including the Drink of Doom.

All week I've scrambled to get materials lists and class descriptions done for the next few weeks. I'll teach Monday through Saturday next week (not all day), and swing my hammer a bit on Friday at a Habitat job. I'm well, indeed.

Let's see what was going on a year ago . . . it was day 72 and I got to go to the grocery for the first time since the transplant. I was enjoying reading the blog of Brenda who was working for a few months in Antarctica, and this year her partner Russ is getting to do the same thing! Raytheon hired them to keep instruments running at the South Pole station. Russ has to read weather instruments every hour. I don't know when he will sleep! Brenda's back home again.

OK, enough of this blathering. Off to a yummy Indian meal with our friends Kit and Carolyn. Last year, I was able to go walking with Kit and Larry on a beautiful fall day, but no restaurants!

Oh, I lowered my desk top a few inches, so I can get rid of the footstool and attendant backache from having my chair too high. Small pleasures. Tomorrow we cut wood in the rain. Love to you all, Janie

Sunday, October 16, 2005 5:54 PM CDT day 432

Yesterday: perfect blue sky, crunching leaves, chain saw, big old oak tree coming down, heavy hard work, wood chips in my boots, sweater full of burrs, brilliant red Jack-in-the-pulpit seeds, perfect blue sky, apples from Mary and Greg, bubbling pot of applesauce, dancing, dancing, dancing, full moon.

Today: even more hot lava applesauce, hot slippery jars, water boiling, lids plinking, pantry filling, kids at museum, dry ice bubbling like cold lava, wonderful messes, happy voices, more jars more lids, perfect sky, chunching leaves.

Another season's harvest in some jars. Garlic yet to go in the ground. Seeds, seeds everywhere. More leaves. J

Saturday, October 8, 2005 11:10 AM CDT day 424

Technology scene this morning: Larry, Janie, and Lynn are working together to plan Christmas trips. Audio chat lets us talk to each other, computers in MN and AZ are clicking away, and I brought my laptop into Larry's study to write a little essay on the situation. We hope it won't take more than an hour to get our trips planned. Lynn's trying to avoid maximum thermal shock in going from Phoenix to Sarasota to NYC to MN and back to AZ on her trip. Also in the mix are Ron, Lisa, and Rowan's plans for converging with us in Sarasota for Christmas.

After record rainfall and two very warm days, it nearly froze last night. I harvested the last of the soybeans, although I haven't got them in the freezer yet. Brought in a rosemary plant and decided to dig up the lemon thyme plant too, even though it should be winter hardy. They make a nice-smelling planter in the greenhouse.

Rain on Tuesday night came in around two of the greenhouse windows, and we were up several hours bailing. Thank goodness for wallpaper trays that double as plant trays. Today we'll see if we can find a leak in the roofing over the mansard that lets this happen. Snowmelt in February brought this on too.

Big work setback: a major after-school gig I had arranged in Lakeville fell through. I had just bought supplies for two big forensic science sequences, and unfortunately opened a lot of packages so I can't return them. This school also has Mad Science available, and they got most of the business. Even their very popular acting classes didn't open. Maybe I need to work for them.

I did have a wonderful time with 11 kids and some dry ice on Friday. So I do still like what I'm doing!

It's so beautiful outside today--cool, sunny, windy. Hope it's a great day where you are too. Love from J, L, and the computers.

Tuesday, October 4, 2005 5:44 PM CDT day 420

Having plenty on day 420. I have PLENTY of work through December, thanks to two new globs of work for the Science Museum I picked up last week. I'll be working on a "rich website" called the Parent Toolkit, a marketing tool that I hope families will enjoy. It will link to the museum through a local TV station's site--will focus on a topic like Winter Sports (for the Olympics in February 2006) and offer science activies, museum and other destination connections, books, toys, maybe interviews with experts, etc. I'm excited to be putting together the database for it. I do not have to design the site.

I also will have plenty of teaching for the museum because of a 5th-6th grade career/science program I have yet to invent for about 600 students in 34 classrooms in 7 inner city schools. I think it will be about materials science, 90 minutes per class, a "one-shot" but repeated many times with other students. I'd like more time to develop it and practice before starting up the end of this month, but this week is about all the time I have.

And I'm doing some teaching through Science Outside the Box, my minuscule company, at an after-school program in Lakeville. I gave my card to a few parents of memorable students this summer, and I got a call from the program coordinator. Mad Science is doing lots of after-school programs, and I can certainly do as well as they can. I'll be teaching Crime Science for two groups of elementary school kids--buying equipment today was fun! I'll have to keep up these gigs to pay back my investments in safety glasses, finger printing supplies, and other stuff.

So although I thought I'd like to do some science-themed birthday parties in November and December, I really don't need to roll out that project until after the first of the year. I did some advertising at a program at 3M last weekend but will wait a bit for an ad in Minnesota Parent or other local rag.

On the health front, I went for an all-night sleep study on Sunday and found that I have very severe sleep apnea. 5 "incidents" of lowered blood oxygen per hour is serious, and I totaled 40 per hour! Had 20 different electrodes and monitoring devices glued to me, and it was not a restful experience at all. We tried out a breathing device during that night, which I now will try to use at home. It was not particularly comfortable last night, but Larry did say I wasn't snoring.

Abundances continue here at Zoidburrow. I'm preserving the harvest as fast as possible--including a batch of Aristocrat pickles, my mother's best recipe. It's a week-long fermenting, laundering, and re-flavoring process, and well worth the effort. Hope I have some empty jars left!

Our best to you all. Must get some other pictures up! JSC

Friday, September 30, 2005 8:30 PM CDT day 416

Today I learned the name of Patrona, my donor. And I have no words, absolutely none. Maybe tomorrow. JSC

Monday, September 26, 2005 1:03 PM CDT day 412

What rhymes with twelve? shelve? disselve? guelve? Ah, elve!

Some recent celebrations: yesterday afternoon, a hymn sing at our church in Minneapolis. I'd call it "old-fashioned," but there were a number of new twists. Garrision Kiellor helped out. Many of us wondered how the event (which was a fund raiser for hurricane relief) happened and concluded that there must have been a very LARGE favor being paid back or invested in for the future.
Saturday night we had fun at a contradance, which we preceded with an hour's walk around Lake Phalen in St. Paul. The event was the Leukemia Society's Light the Night walk. We started a bit early to get to the dance and the lake shore is somewhat wooded, so we didn't see the effect of a river of lighted red and white balloons. It was good for us anyway. Earlier in the day we bought a couple of trees at a nursery in Hastings to celebrate my re-birth-day. They cooked up a big kettle of booya (like a very comprehensive chicken soup, usually cooked outdoors, sometime with "mystery meat" included), so we enjoyed that as well.
Had lunch and wonderful conversation with my friend Lisa, WHOSE SCANS ARE CLEAR!!! Such a lot to celebrate!
And this week I'm getting ready to teach a class for the Science Museum and do a big teacher and family workshop at 3M. We're making edible atoms and spelling words with element symbols. It'll be fun.
After a two-inch rain on Satuday night and drizzle most of yesterday, today brings that incomparable Minnesota blue sky with crisp, cool, dry air. Nothing like it!
We continue to live in your love and do our best to pass on your kindnesses to others. JSC

Friday, September 16, 2005 9:42 PM CDT day 402

We're not through on day 402.

Just heard that we're no longer waiting for any more biopsy results: because the "higher resolution" tests were negative for any leukemia cells or gene markers, Dr. Tomblyn canceled the cytogenetic tests (looking at 20 cells for abnormaities). It's like using the finer seives first--if you don't find anything in them, there's no need to use a coarse strainer. That's a relief!

I taught three classes of 7th graders about DNA today. Some of them were quite focused. They haven't studied cell division yet, so it's a challenge to appreciate that beautiful molecule without an idea of where it fits in.

I am very tired of job hunting and discouraged, but this week I: got an application turned in at St. Catherine's, talked with 3 people about possibilities, planned a 3-session after school gig in Lakeville (through Science Outside the Box, so at a reasonable rate of pay), met a teacher in Cannon Falls to talk about visiting her class next week, and connected with a Science Museum person on a project that will be about a day a week October through December and maybe a little more after that. And made pickle relish and canned tomatoes. Guess that's not insubstantial.

HOORAY! My cousin Carol from New Orleans is safe at her daughter's home in Texas. I had tried several ways of contacting her and finally had an e-mail today. I am so relieved. She thinks their house is unharmed, but many of their neighbors are not so fortunate.

Maybe I need an Amanda Peabody novel. Love to you all, J

Friday, September 9, 2005 12:52 AM CDT day 395

Planning to jive on 395.

We're off to a dance weekend in Ames, Iowa. It'll be fun, and we'll be exhausted when we get back on Sunday. This is the "most of it's behind us" celebration to bookend the "before we dive into the muck" dance weekend we enjoyed in Lexington, KY in June 2004.

The pickles, squash, tomatoes, beans, and okra can wait til we get back! I've made some progress on job applications, but they're not all done yet. Monday.

Many thanks and many hugs to you all, JSC

Friday, September 2, 2005 3:34 PM CDT day 388

Should I keep on counting the days? What do you think?

Molecular news: the gene marker for chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML) called bcr-abl is negative in my last tests. That's good. Hooray. I don't know how sensitive this test is, but I suspect 1 out of several hundred cells. Because CML is a clonal disease, it can grow from even one cell. My immune system now knows what to look for, and it seems to be doing its job. Hooray.

On Seeing Straight
This past winter, after a flurry of excitement over high liver enzymes, Dr. Tomblyn suggested I should start behaving like a well person. So I got new glasses and had an ordinary physical exam and just last week got my teeth cleaned. The glasses, however, have been giving me problems. I got them at a wonderful place in West St. Paul that has very un-boring frames, but I had to go back a couple of times to get them fit properly so I didn't have constant headaches. Lately I've been having to take them off to read, so I had them checked yesterday. Hmmm. Perfectly round lenses. Graded multi-focals. Hmmm. "Turns out" that the lenses were twisted around in the frames in a way that made the reading portion in a completely different place than it ought to have been. One side was worse than the other, and I had definitely been favoring one eye when I did try to read with them on. They have markings so I can tell more easily if they end up crooked again. It's great to have an objective reason for the probem!

Garden produce is still overwhelming in and I have job-hunting stuff to do, but I'm off on a bike ride. That gas is free. Love to you all, J

Friday, August 26, 2005 4:00 PM CDT day 381

Hello all, After hauling in the harvest from the garden last night and seeing the dark and stormy morning, I turned over in bed and slept some more rather than going to swim at the pool. I'll go tomorrow, really I will!

So I made a big pot of salsa and got it canned and was partway into a batch of green bean pickles when I realized we needed to leave for the clinic. Back to the beans soon.

We had a good visit with nurses and Dr. Tomblyn. As we expected, not everything is back from tests last week. But what we have is very, very good: still 100 percent donor cells in marrow and peripheral blood, my immunoglobulins are mostly in normal ranges, and there is no microscopic evidence of leukemia in my bone marrow. We're waiting for the molecular results, some of which may be back next week.

Then I got five shots, which due to Pat's expertise, don't even hurt any more. I will wait another year for the live virus immunizations (mumps-measles-rubella and chicken pox). We stopped for a celebratory ice cream at Izzy's on Marshall Ave in St. Paul. Supposed to be the best ice cream in the US, and it was certainly good.

Next visit is in SIX MONTHS! I'll get the booster shots at my regular doctor's office in October.

Harry Potter manuscript is nearly in the mail. I just have to put the files on a CD and send it off. I'll crow some more when it's really published. I have two job applications out that I hope to hear from soon. Free-lancing has been a good experience, but I really need the security of a job with a schedule and salary right now. Hope we can make that happen.

Love to you all, JSC

Friday, August 19, 2005 8:31 PM CDT

Blood numbers all look fine. Several more test results will be ready next week, and the biopsy info usually takes 3-4 weeks.

Saturday morning 9:15
Hmmm, I think I fell asleep in the middle of this update! Must still be under the influence of Morpheus. Maybe Saturday (today) will be clearer.

Anyway, we got to the clinic and home. I slept a LONG time and made supper, but then upchucked before what would have been a lovely meal, for no reason at all.

Got a call from Lynn last night, and all is well. She's starting classes on Tuesday next week, planning volunteer work and regular platelet donation, and getting to know people. She bought a used bike and sounds very happy to be starting her graduate school adventures. Hooray!

Looking forward to a beautiful sunny day. Hope you are too. Jane

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 8:01 PM CDT day 372

Writing to you on day 372. It's getting darker really early these days. I keep forgetting that August light fades just as fast as February's grows. Spent a good hour in the garden harvesting and weeding and thinking what to plant next year. I put trellises in really inconvenient places this year--very hard to harvest some things because of that. Will concoct a veggie saute in a few minutes. I think I have enough tomatoes to can some sauce and juice tomorrow.

It's been cloudy and humid all day. Last night I went to a concert and outdoor dance--Tuesday nights at the History Center in St. Paul there's a different band and flavor of music each week. It's such a wonderful gathering with elders and folks dancing with their babies and lots of folks from our dance community. Didn't see many teenagers but just about everyone else. Clouds had been rolling in, then a cold wind blew through, and within 5 minutes it was pouring. The band had just decided to play one more tune, but they quickly relented. Don't think it rained at home, though. After the rain garden seminar I attended on Monday night, I made lots of plans for all the runoff from the parking lot!

I think I'm looking forward to testing day at the U on Friday. I don't want to be over-confident, but I am feeling really well. We won't find out much for several weeks anyway in the way of bone marrow biopsy results. Before the transplant, we used to have the numbers in a week, but that was a different lab that probably wasn't so overworked.

Larry will be home at last tomorrow. Our best to you all, JSC

Sunday, August 14, 2005 8:38 PM CDT day 369

Feeling so fine on day 369. It's been a cool, dry, sunny day, one of the best of the summer so far. Not even up to 75 degrees today--sorry Lynn! We know you're steaming in Phoenix/Tempe.

It's late on a summer evening. I'm waiting for the last jars to come out of the canner and then waiting for the jar-sealing "plinks" to sound. Some August weekends I have scrambled to eat last scraps of pickles and jam, cleaned jars, scrounged jars, emptied jars into freezer containers, begged jars, and sometimes bought jars. But this August, nearly every jar is empty. Each one we finished this past winter made me wonder if I would get to fill it up again.

I'm filling jars with peaches and pickles and tomorrow some jam with my poetfriend Anne. She and I made a wonderful mess canning tomatoes together several years ago, and she's ready for more! Have made a few jars of dill beans so far this season, and tomatoes will have their turn soon. If I can get peppers to happen at the right time, there will be salsa and maybe pickle relish, if the cucumbers make their appearance. So far this summer I've missed finding the cukes and zucchini until they are gigantic. Hope that hollowing out the seeds will work with this batch of pickles.

Finally got my bike outdoors today. I struggled to get the tires changed--it felt like three or four hours! Rim strips broke as I got the old tires off, so I had to find a bike store open and get new ones. Then I REALLY struggled to get the wheels on the bike, and then totally forgot the new bike seat I bought in the winter. I rode to the library and back and appreciated the lack of wind. Hope to have a ride a day this week until Friday. I'll do well to get to the pool before my 10 AM clinic appointment for biopsy and other tests, and then will be in a drug fog for a day or so afterwards.

I'm cleaning up from seven weeks of teaching and trying to get re-nested. I hate to take over Lynn's room as if she won't be home again, but it is wonderful to have room for books, files, and teaching supplies. I'm getting some job applications finished and hope to have an office-office soon. But in the meantime, Science Outside the Box is getting itself reorganized and ready for forward motion. This tiny company nurtures the scientist in each one of us.

Love to you all, Janie

Wednesday, August 10, 2005 8:16 PM CDT day 365

I AM ALIVE on 365. It's been a splendid day, starting with three messy, colorful chemistry classes with my forensic-scientists-in-training. Even the few kids who have been struggling with everything else this week had great success and lots of fun. Hooray for them!

Bought two new bike tires after camp and stopped by the hospital to leave a thanks card with the staff on the 4B transplant floor. I didn't recognize anyone there, but that could be the necessary amnesia of the short time I was there.

Tomorrow I'll write to Patrona. Can't quite see the keyboard tonight.

With more love and thanks than I can ever express,
I remain yours: Inspector Sepoc

Tuesday, August 9, 2005 6:02 PM CDT day 364

This week at camp is going well. Garden is lovely. Rain today cooled things off a bit. Onward! J

Friday, August 5, 2005 6:33 AM CDT day 360

Hello dear ones, As I check in on "my" Caringbridge folks and hear from other friends, I'm reminded that the truly important prayers are very simple. They are "Thanks" and "Help."

If you can do so, please send "help" messages for:

Rachel http://www1.caringbridge.org/mn/rachelhansen/ back in the hospital locally with fevers

Clare http://www2.caringbridge.org/md/clareschmidt/index.htm transplant patient in Maryland, relapsed after more than a year free from leukemia.

Marj, my friend Sandy's dearest friend, is starting harrowing treatment for lung cancer. Sandy and Marj's home was broken into recently, and they are staying with Sandy's mother in Chicago. No website.

Jacob, http://www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jacob/, starting new treatment after relapse in a tumor cancer struggle.

Great shouts of "Thanks" for Andrew Swanson, http://www1.caringbridge.org/mn/andrewswanson/ whose brain tumor is no more

Lisa http://www1.caringbridge.org/mn/lisataylorlake/ is looking and feeling so well lately. She makes remarkable poems with every sentence she writes. Scans in September . . . maybe Lisa should have a combination thanks/help line set up!

Outside my office window another brood of wrens are chirping away. I thought they were noisy in May, but now the windows are open and they are deafening! Likewise the frogs and evening insects. Looks like two cooler days before the 90-degree temps return tomorrow.

My wizards are doing fine making mythical creatures in camp. I'll take a few pictures to post later.

Lynn's having a better time in Phoenix, gradually solving problems of settling in a new place. She found her favorite New York onion dip at the local grocery story, but deigned to call me first and not eat potato chips in my ear during the phone call! When she came home from Kenya last summer, she had a shower before calling. It had been a month without. So I guess the hierarchy is shower, Janie, chip dip. Good to know your place, isn't it.

Best of this beautiful new day to you, JSC

Tuesday, August 2, 2005 8:26 PM CDT day 357

Ahhhh. National Night Out. I'm spending it in because it's so hot outside. Last year, this night was my first in the hospital.

I think I'm tireder than I was a year ago. My students are wonderfully energetic, and I need the breaks and a chance to refuel at lunch. We played in the water this afternoon--a lovely and functional fountain on the Hamline campus refreshed us all. We played a few rounds of Drip,Drip,Splash (Duck, Duck, Gray Duck with a cup of water in hand) before the wizards started a wonderful water fight. Hope they dried out before their parents came! I was about ready for bed an hour ago, but it was ridiculously early.

Lots of wind, hot wind, and very humid outside. We're due for a good rain tomorrow afternoon or evening. Or maybe sooner. That should cool things off. and please the green things. I'll be looking for some fruit this weekend to make jam. Will see what the farmers' market has and some other local places. I think I've missed the best local strawberries and blueberries, but there will be something, I'm sure.

Keep cool. Be well all of you, Janie

later: Lynn's sitting outside on campus in the shade, getting Internet access. The local phone company had lost her application to get service to her apartment. Should be online by Friday or so. She says it's much better in the shade.

Sunday, July 31, 2005 5:55 PM CDT

Lynn's arrived in Phoenix, has unloaded, and is now in search of furniture. I'm relieved that she's landed but kind of wish I could be there to help in the adventure.

I went on a jaunt to St. Cloud, MN, with some gardening friends. Not the kind of garden I'm cultivating, but it was fun to get out for lunch and a drive. Diane, who drove with me, and I talked a lot about Harry Potter and theories for the next book. Fun!

Love to all from J

Saturday, July 30, 2005 7:08 PM CDT day 354

Lynn's in Gallup, NM tonight and sounds as if she could have driven farther. She hopes to get to Phoenix in time to actually move in tomorrow, buy a bed, and sleep in it.

I got in a swim this morning, had lunch with friends and saw The March of the Penguins, a great National Geographic film. I will just never whine again after seeing what those intrepid creatures go through just to make more penguins. It's worth waiting through the credits at the end to see a little footage of the photographers struggling with the Antarctic weather. Off to dance now. J

Dance didn't happen. Made beans in jars instead.

Friday, July 29, 2005 7:43 PM CDT day 353

Hello all! Lynn is two days into her journey to grad school. She's seen two new states today (OK and TX) and will have two more by the time she gets to Phoenix. It's a long, long drive.

Professor Sepoc had a fabulous week with small chemists, although two of them were pretty big. We ended with a wonderfully messy Drink of Doom done with parents at our open house. Whew.

I'm in the midst of garden joys--brought in two big bowls of yumminess tonight. Need some canning salt, so I'd better get it and pop a few things into jars. How wonderful to be putting things into jars again!

Just heard from the Journal of Chemical Education that my "Harry Potter paper" needs a few revisions, but the reviewers did recommend that it be published. Happiness!

Love to you, Janie

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 2:28 PM CDT day 351

2:30 PM Nothing is ever easy. In the saga of Lynn's move to Arizona, we still do not have the trailer here. L and L are working on getting lights on trailer and car to synchronize. First thought was that the TRAILER lights were not working, but it seems to be the car lights. They were close but just broke a wire and need to get a new wire harness. Which they think they can get at the trailer place. Stay tuned.

5:15 PM lights fixed, trailer here

sometime before 9 PM, it's all packed!

Saturday, July 23, 2005 11:24 AM CDT day 347

GRRRRRR! animal attacks are evident in the garden: another little hole in the spiffy plastic fence, TWO LITTLE RABBITS inside the fence, tops of a volunteer pumpkin vine in the compost bin munched off.

HOORAY!! First ripe cherry tomatoes today--we ate them up in the garden! Had a brief and lovely rain this morning, a very fine Wizard School class concluded yesterday, my cousins Chuck and Diana are visiting from Kentucky. We attended an outdoor Shakespeare last evening, which was just splendid despite the heat. We spent the late evening at a new ice cream store nearby hearing about Chuck's new restaurant venture. I'm trying to infect Diana with a folder of genealogy stuff--we share one great-grandmother. We all invented a play several years ago, the subtext of which mentioned the characters' relationships to each other ad nauseum. Diana is my mother's father's half-sister's granddaughter. Larry is talking with Chuck about a journal article on teaching styles. I'm enjoying time-sharing.

Lynn is enjoying visits with friends and is getting ready for packing Wednesday and heading to Arizona on Thursday. We will miss her very dearly, but I know her new adventures will be exciting. She registered for her classes on-line last week. She's also helping out teaching at the Science Museum this coming Monday and Tuesday mornings--she's been christened the Queen of Spontaneity by museum staff who have called her in a panic several times this summer. She certainly helped me out of my Simultaneity Crisis last weekend for the magic shows.

We wish you a lovely day. If you're at all nearby, please come by tomorrow afternoon or evening to celebrate the season and friends. JSC

Wednesday, July 20, 2005 9:33 PM CDT day 344

Big news of the day: I may have broken the zucchini curse. Picked four beautiful small squash the evening. Still looking for yellow straight-necks and patty pans, but at least I have a few. Planting later may have foiled the butterflies that lay the stem borers, I hope.

Health news: I do have a Clostridium dificile over-growth, which is an intestinal side effect of the antibiotic blast I needed in June. It's an imbalance in the normal gut bacteria and causes mild diarr(I'll never spell it correctly)hoea. So another antibiotic--this one will surely be the last one--and another stool culture in 10 days. This would have been a problem last fall (with low counts and being immune-suppressed), but doesn't seem a big deal at this point. I just have to remember to take a batch of pills.

My little wizards are doing well with their morning classes this week. Tomorrow we start to make a fabric mythical creature--actually a figure on a small pillow. I ought to make a couple of examples for them. I have 7 boys and one girl in my class; I heard lots of enthusiasm when I mentioned the sewing. Several of the boys said, "oh, that's easy," so we'll see. My 6 year-olds are just going into first grade, so any written work is a struggle for them. Yesterday I asked all of them to write a recipe for the Alka-Seltzer rockets we made. They struggled with ingredients and precautions. One little guy read me the caption to his illustration: "Woweeee. Mine went up to the clouds!" I love it! I think I'll have them narrate their creatures' stories to me. Just writing on unlined paper is a major effort for them. I'd forgotten how scarey that blank page looks.

Best to you all! Janie

Tuesday, July 19, 2005 1:09 PM CDT day 343

Wheeeee on 343! I'm teaching a Wizard School class for 6-8 year olds this week, my fourth week of summer classes. I'm not nearly so worried about dirt as I was the first week--I think I washed my hands every 30 seconds and thought about bringing disinfectant wipes with me. Much better now.

Harvested onions, potatoes, and a few green beans from the garden yesterday. If we continue to have rain or I water enough, maybe there will be a ripe tomato--YES--soon. Cucumber plants look really good and have a few tiny pickles on them. Broccoli and cauliflower are just stunning. I need to pick them soon and have a round of Veggie Yumminess.

We're looking forward to a visit from my cousins Diana and Chuck from Louisville, who will be here Thursday through Sunday. Anne S, Diana has specificallty asked to meet you, so we hope our potluck on the 24th is still on your radar.

And you other lurkers . . . do come to the party. Details at top of page. Call for directions to the Zoidburrow if you need them, or use Mapquest. Hard to tell about road construction over the weekend--there's been some on US 52 between here and downtown St. Paul.

I do have to drop off a sample at the clinic this afternoon--maybe a bacterial issue left from antibiotics in June. Hope not, because the treatment is more/different antibiotics. Hmmmm.

Our best to you all, Janie

Yes, I finished HP6, and it has an ending to make one limp. Hmmm, not limping while walking. The other limp, as in "what could possibly happen next?"

Saturday, July 16, 2005 8:52 AM CDT day 340

Can't think of a rhyme for 340, but I'm awake after a very late night. Lynn, Larry, my assistant Jessica, and I did make it through all of our shows with no loss of life or limbs. I'm a little hoarse because my sound system was iffy and made quite a bit of feedback when I stood in the wrong place. Lynn had a microphone, but it was fixed in an unuseful place.

I think she turned out the lights around 3 AM, but I don't know if she finished the book already. I'll start mine over breakfast. And then a little gardening and a little dancing and more sleep. Hooray! Janie

Thursday, July 14, 2005 8:07 PM CDT day 338

Alons enfants de la Patrie! I totally forgot that today is Bastille Day.

Camps are going well. Lynn's breathing deeply. I'm distracted. We've checked our boxes of stuff for tomorrow. I printed up MSDSs for both of us in case of any mishaps. We have our cue cards and our trusted assistants. Larry is picking up the dry ice tomorrow. It'll be way fun.

I just thought of a great line this morning. We introduce ourselves as Professor Sepoc and express surprise that someone might be expecting Professor Snape to be the Potions Professor. I plan to say, "Oh, Professor Snape is SO Book Five!" Guess you have to be a fanatic for that to be funny.

We'll have stories to tell on Saturday. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Your pal, Professor Sepoc the Elder

Saturday, July 9, 2005 11:05 PM CDT day 333

OK, I did it. I swam a mile this morning. First time since last August. The hardest part is counting laps. NO, the hardest part is the last half mile. Ugh. Because lap swimming is so early on week days, I just haven't been getting to the pool as much as I'd like. Will reform in August.

Lynn has an apartment in Tempe to move into in August! We're so thrilled that the manager of the building accepted her application. Hope it will be a wonderful new home for her for all of grad school and she won't have to move a bunch more. She'll be leaving on the 28th or 29th of July.

She and I are working full-blast on our magic shows for next Friday night. By a VERY unfortunate mistake, I double-booked myself (Professor Sepoc) at two different Barnes & Noble bookstores for the party to release the 6th Harry Potter book. Because I didn't figure this out until June, and because Lynn is so wonderful, she's volunteered to do shows at the "other store" while I'm at HarMar Mall. Friday night the 15th from 10 PM til midnight, and for both of us, after a full week of camp directing/teaching. I'm most worried that she could set herself on fire with the little fire in the jam jar or the flash paper. Or get something in her eyes or accidentally harm some kid.

But it'll be all right, and we'll try to have some pictures to post.

Camp this last week was fine. Kids had fun. I brought home some chocolate. Willy Wonka would have been proud.

It's way hot.

Contra dancing tonight was fun.

My knuckles are dragging. The latest chigger bites are itching, but I did buy some more insect repellant, and I will NEVER go out to the garden without it. Never, never, never again. Promise. Hmmmmmmm. I've said that before.

G'night. Janie

Tuesday, July 5, 2005 7:30 PM CDT day 329

Garden to kitchen to winter bliss . . . I just popped some fresh pesto in the freezer after a lovely supper of pasta and veggies from the garden. Only one small problem when I poured the olive oil into blender without the bottom screwed on. Hmmmm. Last winter when I used up the last of it, I was so sad. My dancing/gardening friend Laura suggested this amazing idea: I can thin the basil and make pesto before the plants are four feet high and turning into woody trees! What a concept! In this climate it pays to plant basil from seed when the tomato plants go out to the garden. If I plant basil plants, they always bloom and go to seed far too early.

Second week of camp is going well--it's Willy Wonka Week. One of my fellow teachers said that last year the kids were whining that they couldn't eat another sweet by Thursday! That's when my group will be making dipped chocolates and finding the strength of pretzels. This week's classes are at the Science Museum, which makes it a little easier to locate items I forgot to put on my materials list. We have a huge room of "stuff" for classes and a staff of several who pack boxes for us if we get our lists to them three weeks ahead of time. When I complain about not being paid enough, I need to remember how many hours they save me by packing and putting stuff away.

Lynn and I are winding up for our magic show practice this weekend. We've invited a number of local Caring Bridge kids and adults, and the invitation is open to others too! Love to you all, JSC

Saturday, July 2, 2005 10:08 AM CDT day 325

We had a little celebration last night for the end of the fiscal year (Science Museum), first of July, end of our first camp week for Janie and Lynn, end of Larry's two weeks of math teacher workshops, and general surviving. I was wishing we could take a little trip this weekend, maybe to look for Giant Things in Wisconsin (Fishing Hall of Fame?????), but money and time are scarce. So we three met at the Taste of Minnestoa for lemonade and corn dogs (with and without mustard) and minidonuts and chicken wings and grape ice. The gourmet food idea of T-o-M has gone away, but the prices are still too high. We watched a lot of people and walked around a lot and had a splendid evening.

Staying for fireworks would have been a lot later, so we'll save that for Monday in Stillwater with our friends the Carlsons. We invited ourselves over for their neighborhood picnic and will bring their son Erik from the airport when we come. Tonight's a contradance, and we're hoping Larry's foot will be up to it (great last week, not so good last night, better this morning). Sunday we're celebrating something or other over Dim Sum with the Coopers. If you're in the Metro area, be advised that Sunday Dim Sum is just wonderful at Mandarin Kitchen, on Lyndale at 80-somethingth Street, on the west side of Lyndale. I think it's near the Toro plant. Different dishes are brought out depending on when you get there. Sometimes the servers can tell you what they are. If you're really lucky, you can get chicken feet, standing up on a little plate!!!!

This time last year we knew we had a donor: dear, dear Patrona. We planned to enjoy July and start work-up week for the transplant the end of July. I remember that my early July blood tests were remarkably unremarkable, so we had a tiny hope that the leukemia had just decided to go away. We were beginning a battle with the clinic at the U to do a bone marrow biopsy early in July so we would have the results by the work-up-let's-decide-if-this-is-the-right-thing-to-do-week. Their plan was to do the biopsy later and maybe have the results after I was already in the hospital. We did win the battle, and the results showed us that the transplant was certainly the right thing to do.

While I haven't beaten the odds yet (on average, 1 out of 2 transplant patients of my age and diagnosis is alive and cancer-free 2 years later), I am enjoying excellent health for right now. We are so grateful for your love and care, which have sustained us through this wobbly time.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. JSC

Friday, July 1, 2005 8:31 PM CDT day 324

Ready to snore on 324.

Yes. We got through the week. Knuckles are dragging. More later. J

Thursday, June 30, 2005 6:33 AM CDT day 324

Happy to report that Camp Curie is going just fine! Three groups of 15 girls are having a blast (and a meltdown or two, but we're dealing), and so are the staff. Lynn became camp director on absolultely no notice Tuesday morning when the original person declined to arrive. She is the absolute QUEEN OF RISING TO THE OCCASION. She will also serve as our Visiting Scientist today and tell us all about digging up old bones in Africa.

Rain and more rain and hot, steamy temps and tons of traffic! It's all in the works for this end of June. Best wishes to all and sundry, Jane

Sunday, June 26, 2005 10:25 PM CDT day 320

I THINK I'm ready for my class tomorrow! This will be my first summer camp teaching since 2003. It's Camp Curie for the Science Museum--a camp for 6 to 9 year old girls. We have three teachers, three counselors, a camp director, and 45 girls. I've put together a week of learning about Ancient Arts: dyeing wool fleece, making soap, making felt, braid, and rope, making paper and ink, and pounding flower images onto paper or fabric. My kidlings may go home every afternoon thankful that we can just BUY paper and soap! We'll see how my stamina holds out. First job is sleeping, I hope without going over every detail in my dreams.

Then five other classes the following weeks, and a big gasp for air!

Best wishes to you all, JSC

Friday, June 24, 2005 1:58 PM CDT day 318

Hello all, Yesterday Lynn and I had some fun at Children's Hospital in Minneapolis. We did some chemical demonstations with dry ice and color changes for kids (in hospital as well as siblings). Exploding pillows, crystal balls ("on each little table was a cyrstal ball filled with pearly white mist"), and tests for Bat Breath were such treats! It's hard to know who had more fun, but I think it was me! Thanks to all who came and to Amy Peterson for inviting us.

Hmmmm, the cure I mentioned last week is for the virus or bacterium that gave me my first post-transplant infection. It is cured for sure, but I don't know when to say the leukemia is cured. My doctor is looking for two years post-transplant (August 06) as the marker. I do know of patients who relapsed after a year, so it seems as if two years would be safer than one year. But we'll do plenty of celebrating this August anyway. My one-year anniversary (new birthday) is August 10th, in the middle of my last week of summer teaching. I have biopsy and other anniversary tests scheduled for the 19th, and a conference with Dr. Tomblyn on the 26th. Results of the last two biopsies took 3-4 weeks to come back, so we may not know much even at the end of August. We'll just celebrate all month, how about that?

Our love to you all, Janie

Friday, June 17, 2005 9:50 PM CDT day 311

Feels like 100 percent today! Let's call it a cure. JSC

Thursday, June 16, 2005 9:21 PM CDT day 310

Mystery bug continues to be unidentified, but the antibiotic blasts appear to be doing their job. It is not mono, strep, a flu virus (tested by wires up my nose), pneumonia, or a urinary tract infection. I don't think it could be an abcessed tooth (no pain there), and fortunately the blood cultures have been negative also. I'll keep up the oral antibiotic and return to the clinic on Monday for another check. I haven't needed any Tylenol today at all.

I managed to get to the clinic and back, rested awhile, ate some chicken noodle soup, and presented a program at a library in Oakdale this evening before crumpling up in a little heap. It would be so good to be able to sleep. At least I can breathe better.

First sugar snap peas are read to eat, so I did. It's sunny and dry enough to open up the house. . . glorious Minnesota summer!

Thanks for all the encouragement. So far the drama hasn't been overwhelming, just a bit worrying. If it waited until I'm this strong, it must be a bad bug. OR Patrona has been doing just fine and needed a little help to deal with whatever it is. Love to you all, JSC

Wednesday, June 15, 2005 11:36 PM CDT

Quick update from Lynn: another day at clinic for Mom, no news on what this bug is. They gave her more IV cyclosporin and performed a truly horrific procedure called...well, I don't know what it's called, but it involved sticking a wire up her nose to culture her sinuses. UNPLEASANT! She came home and slept most of the day, but managed some real food (Jello doesn't count!) at dinner. Tomorrow, it's back into town for another push of IV antibiotic, which should (hopefully) be her last. Once they figure out what's going on and she perks up, we'll fix the wretched color of the webpage, promise!

If you're not yet a Caringbridge Junkie, you probably won't know about Julianna Banana's MONSTER LINK page. It's a list of lots of CB sites, all of which represent families going through similar journeys as we are (and most of them a lot harder). They could all use good thoughts and prayers. If everyone who checks up on us "adopted" just one other family, we could spread some of this amazing support and love we've received over the past two years. Please check out the monster link page at http://members.shaw.ca/bananabin/links.htm

Thanks, and have a good night,
Lynn

Tuesday, June 14, 2005 6:35 PM CDT day 308

[Now it's 4AM and I'm fussing with the colors to match how yucky I feel. Bleh]

Another first to report: today was the first time I went to the clinic actually ill. Tired doesn't count! I decided by noon that this fever-aches-glands business wasn't going anywhere fast. The fact that it came back after a couple of weeks of being fine also seems odd to me. They filled me up with IV antibiotics and a prescription for oral ones, and I have to go back tomorrow and Thursday for another IV blast. Since all my other blood numbers are OK, they didn't threaten to throw me in the hospital. I hadn't been in the infusion room at the clinic since September or so!

Did a lot of cultures of various sorts, so tomorrow we may have some information on what it isn't. Chest x-ray looked OK. Might be some sinus junk or mono or possibly an insect-borne disease. In any event, everyone was very kind, and it only took about 3 hours altogether.

Larry took me in to the U but had a meeting tonight, so Lynn played tag-team. She was REALLY frustrated with traffic, and I was trying to make a conference phone call happen as well as get prescriptions before the pharmacy closed. Things have slowed down now, and I can check on my list of other CaringBridgers.

Thanks and ever thanks for your care for us! Janie

Sunday, June 12, 2005 1:42 PM CDT day 306

It's taken me at least an hour to get the day numbers right, so maybe I'm more impared than I thought. Bad bug is back, with slight fever and different glands sore (under my ears rather than under my chin), run-over-by-a-truck-ness, even-Jello-tastes-good. A couple of weeks ago it only lasted a couple of days, so we should be back to health soon. I feel as if Patrona's cells (my new immune system) are like a very young dancer. They have been practicing the steps, but now it's really time to step on stage. Don't be shy, now!

I'm a little worried about having enough energy for my summer classes and camps, which start in two weeks. I still have quite a few plans to finish.

This morning before I knew I was sick, I got a little garden work done. It was so little (just weeding half the veggie bed, planting a few seeds, and mending a hole in the fence) that I was quite discouraged. Things are growing way faster than I can keep up with them. But I was able to get quite a bit of pruning done in March and April, and that didn't happen last year at all. Every weed I pulled today is one that won't be there tomorrow and one that won't go to seed in July. One tomato plant, a potato, and the peas are blooming. When I can be patient enough to plant beans and other hot-season seeds in June, they always reward me by jumping out of the ground so fast. I've decided to manage volunteer cilantro by whacking it down before it goes to seed and waiting to see if it will recover. Yesterday I made what seemed like several gallons of Green Godess dressing from dill and cilantro, and I can't cope with any more indoors. I really want cilantro in August, when the salsa veggies are ripe, not in June!

On Thursday evening, many friends of Alice Schroeder gathered at her workplace, the Bakken Museum and Library, for a short remembering time. An engraved stone in one of the gardens now reads, "Alice Schroeder, Inspiring Educator." I was delighted that to see that the garden wasn't entirely weeded and planted "nicely," giving the same "ran out of time" feeling I have about her life.

Best health to all. Your rather limp Janie

Sunday, June 5, 2005 4:54 PM CDT day 298

There's more on my plate on day 298.

Now that I gave up in the garden because of thunder and rain and trying to keep seed packets dry until I got the seeds in the ground, now that I came indoors and had a shower and made some coffee, now of course it's stopped dripping. Sigh. What a good thing to whine about!

Lots of rhubarb processing lately, but I guess I SHOULD tell about lab results from clinic on Friday. After a two month break, it just doesn't come to the top of the pile so often! Dr. Tomblyn is very pleased. Almost all numbers are fine (total white cells still a bit down, although neutrophils are OK; two of the three liver enzyme results are slightly high but not enough to worry about). I won't need to go back again until my one-year anniversary visit in August, which will be scheduled when the scheduler gets around to it. I'll be through with summer teaching on August 12th, one year plus 2 days since transplant day.

OK, RHUBARBERY!! Friday night I did something really scary. I made a gallon of rhubarb LEAF extract, which is full of oxalic acid and really poisonous. It's not to drink but to use as a wool dye and mordant in my first summer camp coming up the end of this month. I'm using pots and other utensils that will not be in food contact, but I did keep mopping up spills and washing my hands. Boiled rhubarb leaves are really yucky and slimey! What I will do for art/science!

Yesterday I made three batches of Cranberry-Rhubarb Jam, which I invented a few years ago. It is so delicious and a beautiful red color. Unfortunately, you have to either freeze cranberries and make the jam in the spring at rhubarb time, or vice versa. I've never wanted to use strawberries with rhubarb because they're too precious on their own. I had always followed the Certo directions faithfully, never changing things, but there wasn't a recipe for rhubarb jam in the leaflet anyway. My first batch turned out firm enough and sweet enough, so I think it's a winner. If you're interested, I use the pink box of powdered Certo pectin (lower sugar) with 8 cups of mixed fruit and 5 cups of sugar. You probably want to mash the cranberries a bit as it is cooking or they pop in your mouth!

It's good to be filling up some jars at last instead of always emptying them. Good metaphor, eh? Love to you all, Janie

Tuesday, May 31, 2005 5:38 PM CDT day 293

Fever-free on day 293 . . . all systems seem to be working well today. Yesterday I didn't quite have a whole day's worth of energy, and I napped a little this afternoon, but I think the bug's gone.

There must be something quite calming about the garden. So many creatures are enjoying the space with me. Yesterday I startled a couple of baby bunnies, but one of them just sat and watched me for awhile before finding another place to hide. Found a little toad sitting on the hose winder. And TODAY! A little spotted fawn spent most of the day curled up in the grass near the compost pile. I even took its picture and took Lynn up to see it. We're a little worried that it should hang out in such an exposed place, but at least it is out of the way of the neighborhood coyote. Would a deer parent have taken the little one up on top of the house??? I hope it finds a safe way down (sides) rather than straight off.

Had stern conversations with all about whose garden this is. . . bet that changes their behavior! Smiles from JSC

Sunday, May 29, 2005 8:09 PM CDT day 291

Monday morning . . . getting better! Fever is down and I'm now planting and weeding happily. I did phone the clinic this morning, but they're not worried either. JSC

Hello all--never underestimate the power of surprise. Here I am at day 291, running a 100.5 fever--the magic number for a call to the clinic. The transplant fellow on duty at the hospital and I both think it's probably flu, and since I'm not neutropenic, I should just rest and take ibuprofen like a normal person. I feel better than a couple of hours ago, but the temperature isn't down very much. Nothing like this has happened before, but I HAVE been in Canada.

At first I thought lugging boxes and moving files and book cases and getting Lynn's bed up into a loft were the cause of the muscle aches. Lynn and I are working on getting re-nested. But that work wouldn't cause fever. At least I'm not chattering uncontrollably any more and the jello tasted good.

Weather is getting better, and I should be able to do some more gardening tomorrow.

Best to you all from Janie

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 5:35 PM CDT

Greetings from Qu�bec City! Lynn and I have turned north instead of continuing on the Maine coast in rain, rain, more rain, and fog. We have managed to find a hotel and an internet cafe AND a parking place. Tomorrow we will likely walk about the old city before continuing our journey home.
We did visit a wonderful ice cream place, somewhat by accident, in Damariscotta, Maine, the second time through. Explanations will cost you $2 or $3. Thanks to Virginia for the tip. By the way, Plymouthites, her church is wonderful, and they love her very much. We enjoyed a trip to outlet-ville (Freeport, Maine) in a LOT of rain. It does cut down on the crowds. There is a giant boot in front of LL Bean, and we have found several other species thus far.

Onward! J and L

Thursday, May 19, 2005 2:02 PM CDT

Greetings from the Copes-Pribanic Loony Home and Garden! I'm sitting in Rowan's blue and green grotto room watching her nap after reading a new (to me) Robert McCloskey story called One Morning in Maine. In it Sal, protagonist of "Blueberries for Sal," is now a big sister who has her first loose tooth. She has a quite an adventure, but doesn't go to sleep at the end of the book.

We've managed a big ceremony at Columbia for Lynn's Class Day on Tuesday and a HUGE commencement event on Wednesday and got her moved out of her dorm before the noon deadline today. Three absolutely gorgeous days in a row must be a New York miracle, not at all common in the town that floods its subways with big, cold rainstorms. Boxes are on their ways home to MN by various transport routes, and there ought to be room in the car for what's left . . . ?????

We took lots of pictures, but I can't find the little cable to hook the digital camera to the computer at the moment. Photo-proof of the events will be posted soon.

Tomorrow we head NE to Maine to visit a bit with our dear friend Virginia Rickeman, associate minister at our church for some wonderful years. Her church in Bethel, Maine, sounds like just the right place for her.

I am so happy Larry's parents got to come for the week. Like the Farewell Symphony, diverse Copeses are departing--Ron was off early today for Juilliard Quartet concerts in Japan. Earle and Laura are now on their way back to Florida. Lynn flits in tonight and the three of us will wander on tomorrow. Lisa and Rowan are working on plans to visit with Lisa's mother in Montana while Ron is gone. We hope they'll stop for a visit in Zoidburrow on their ways home.

I am so happy I got to come too. Love to all, Janie

Thursday, May 12, 2005 8:41 AM CDT day 275

I shudda been up at 5 on day 275. . . hmmm does that count as a rhyme? Anyway, thanks for checking in on us. Today is Mother's Day, Lynn's 22nd birthday. She's working away at papers and has her last exam this afternoon. She sounded a bit groggy a few minutes ago, but who wouldn't?

I'm acting as if I'VE been up all night too--just accidentally made a double-strength coffee that I'm trying to dilute. Need to whine: it's 34 degrees and sleeting/raining. I have at least 60 little plants to get in the ground before we leave tomorrow. Have not been able to find tomato protectors (Walls o' Water) in town, so I'm risking the lives of dear little peppers, tomatoes, and eggplants (if I can even find them). I still need to spend the morning on the last bits of a library program for the museum. And pack. And wash clothes. And do something with the rhubarb . . .

So what does all this have to do with leukemia? Not a thing! Two years ago I had never heard of chronic myelogenous leukemia. My doctor's famous phone call, "Now don't worry about this, but I think you have leukemia," happened on the 15th, and my first bone marrow biopsy was on May 21, 2003. Last year at this time I was saying good bye to the Science Museum staff after pulling out of all my summer teaching, with about as much uncertainty as I have ever known.

I am really behaving as if all this is in the rear view mirror, as Dr. Tomblyn suggested I could in March. Except for getting my teeth cleaned and vaccinations, things are rolling along. Larry and I are off tomorrow to join family and friends at Lynn's graduation from Columbia in NY. We'll help pack up and ship stuff and wander on to western Maine, where we'll visit with our dear friend Virginia Rickeman and see her new church and abode. Then Larry leaves for a business trip to California and Lynn and I meander home by way of Maine coast, Bay of Fundy, Nova Scotia (?), Quebec, Montreal, Sudbury, and Hayward (Fishing Hall of Fame) I have to be back on the 2nd of June, and we may get tired of the weather or each other or driving and come back sooner.

But first I gotta get those tuning fork tutus made. And drill a hole in a bowl, and make some graphic design happen. And plant those wee plants on this hypothermic day. Love to you all, Janie

Monday, May 2, 2005 8:56 AM CDT day 264

Ready for more on day 264.

We're back from Duluth and other adventures. On Friday, while Larry met math teachers and went to meetings, I drove up the North Shore (Lake Superior) all the way to Grand Portage (the Canadian Border) and enjoyed some "windshield time." I've missed driving and just getting away to see new things since the end of my school outreach days a couple of years ago.

I got a State Park Day pass and made great use of it, visiting many of the 8 parks along the shore and looking for streams that feed the lake. Took pictures of many waterfalls and signs of spring. There was hardly any snow on trails, just a bit on the shady sides of paths. I used slow film cameras, so it'll be awhile until I get pictures posted.

Larry's been fighting off a bad cold, cough, and sore throat, but he's getting better each day. His session at the meeting on Saturday (Math and ContraDancing) was well-attended, and we had some fun dancing and figuring out how each move changed our positions in a group of four. He sparkles more when he's feeling better.

Today I'm at the Science Museum working on a new sound program project that will roll out this June. I'm building props and ordering supplies and getting stuff collected that teachers didn't quite finish last week. Last week was testing week in most MN schools, so there weren't many outreach jobs happening. But that's the last even vaguely free time the department teachers had to finish up this project. Should be fun. I'm building a couple of air cannons (puff drums, in my non-military language). writing directions for table-top activities, and making a punch list for the last 10 percent of the jobs (that often take 80 percent of the effort.)

Lynn's last day of college classes EVER is today, and she's fighting off a cold also. She has a few papers and projects and exams to do--last exam will be on her birthday the 12th. She's a lot sad about leaving friends and making changes, but I'll bet she'll be excited in August about grad school.

We spent a wonderful evening last night with our friend Lisa, who read wonderful poems and prose to a gathering of admirers. Her piece about her mother and Scrabble completely undid me.

Coffee calls. Be well! JSC

Wednesday, April 27, 2005 4:40 PM CDT day 260

This cold, cold morning (34 degrees and wet) gradually warmed up. I worked on a Science Museum project part of the morning and ventured outside this afternoon. Leaving tomorrow for Duluth doesn't leave much time to get jobs done, but I did get 6 clumps of little river birch sprouts in the ground. Two batches are down by our pond, and even with their stakes and protective coats, I'm worried that they'll be eaten up. It's very dry, and the pond is not big at all this year. It snowed off and on as I was digging and whacking out buckthorn. It's discouraging how many "junk trees" have invaded our woodland. But there are some good things there too, and river birches will be a good addition. Thanks to Jan and Brian for the gift!

I had planned to get the garden fence project finished and compost schlepped around by tomorrow, but that was a vain hope. Guess my stamina isn't quite up to where I'd like it. I do pretty well with 2-3 hours of hard outdoor work, and then I wilt. Maybe it's age??? That's never been an excuse before! The weather was not very cooperative the last couple of days either.

Be sure to find something beautiful to exclaim over today. JSC

Tuesday, April 26, 2005 6:58 PM CDT day 259

Some steps forward, some steps backward. . . . I did survive the colonoscopy this afternoon. The food restrictions and other preparations are certainly worse than the procedure, but it wasn't particularly pleasant. Had 5 polyps removed and sent off for biopsy. Don't know if that's something to hold my breath about or not. Hmmmm. Let's not.

We enjoyed a visit from our friends Jan and Brian on Sunday evening. They had been planting river birch seedlings and ran out of steam with 15 or so to go. So we'll enjoy finding homes for them (the birches, not J&B) here. I think some spots where there used to be buckthorn will be ideal, and I'll plant some down near the pond too.

While I was crowing to them about the new garden fence system, Jan noticed a big hole in one spot--chewed completely through by a rabbit. There wasn't even anything planted in that bed and the dumb bunny still got in. So I'm temporarily stumped. I HATE chicken wire fences, but at least they aren't chewable. Maybe I'll have to reinforce the lower foot of the fences I've finished with wire and think up something else for the other bed. We're leaving Thursday for a few days in Duluth, so I'd better get to it. This year I put earliest seeds in the west bed, which has essentially no fencing--just very old and rusty chicken wire and random posts. Ugh.

I'm enjoying working on a project for the Science Museum that will be used in libraries starting in June. It's a program and table-top activities about sound. Had a good meeting yesterday with staff, and we settled on several fine ideas.

Rain has slowed down outdoor work, but I saw a wild turkey yesterday and our odd-colored fox this afternoon. Oh, and first rhubarb dessert tonight! Onward! J

Friday, April 22, 2005 12:08 PM CDT day 255

Yes, I know I haven't written for awhile. I'm enjoying being outdoors and planning for summer teaching and shopping and doing all those things Patrona and Dr. Tomblyn now allow me to do. I find it a big relief reading other CaringBridge sites when there AREN'T twice-a-day updates. It means things are getting back to the boring level again. Our friend Andrew is back in school this week after a month in the hospital, and it was just fine to hear new news only twice this week. Hooray Swansons!!

I took a break just now from working on garden fences. It was actually chilly outdoors, and I got to the point of needing another tool. Then the sun came out to raise the temperature a lot. I'll have some pictures to post soon. This is of course the BEST EVER garden fence system, which will last for 50 years. Hmmmm.

Today is my mother-in-law's 85th birthday, and yesterday was my sister's and Queen Elizabeth's birthday. Hippo Birdies to all three! Queen Elizabeth's coronation is just in the edge of my memory, when I was 5. We did not have a television, but the LIFE magazine pictures were just splendid. I also attended my first wedding that year, which was very spiffy and fed the princess dress-up fever whenever I wasn't being a cowboy.

Last year on April 21st, I got the news that the bone marrow transplant was not just a "maybe" but really had to happen. I knew my March 2004 bone marrow biopsy was bad news, but I still thought there would be another drug-based plan to try. It was a big, bad surprise, and I'm sure my teaching for the few days after that conference was pretty incoherent. I remember being in lab and not being able to answer a perfectly simple question--my brain just wouldn't work!

But things are going very, very well at this point. We won't call it a happy ending yet, but it's a fine, fine, very fine day in the middle of the journey.

Best to you all. Thanks and ever thanks for all your good wishes! Janie

Saturday, April 16, 2005 2:56 PM CDT day 249

It's a sweet rainy day--finally the rain doesn't drag my spirits down to the depths because I can see all the little green things that need the drink. Our redbud is starting to color up already. I think we're at least 2 weeks ahead of average spring time around here. I need an indoor day to clean up some piles. . . not that I've actually done that yet!

Got to the pool this morning. It's been really hard to get up early enough to get there on weekdays, but I'm waking up a little earlier lately. I guess my central line has only been out a month, and I needed a week or so to heal the site, so I haven't missed too many opportunities for swimming.

Looked around at a hardware store this morning for some ideas for garden fencing. I think I have a better plan than the current one, and it shouldn't be too expensive. Rabbits, cats, and woodchucks really plow through everything without a fence, so I need to get cracking on it soon. Our vegetable garden is on the roof (of our earth-sheltered home), in two narrow raised beds that I don't walk on. Fence needs to be high enough to keep critters out but removable for planting and weeding. It's just too hard to bend over the fence and reach in. I made some fences a couple of years ago with electrical conduit and chicken wire. While it's possible to remove the sections for weeding, it is really cumbersome, so I'm working on a better plan. I also didn't get new fence done for half the garden, so that side is very vulnerable to unauthorized grazing.

This past week of teaching was such fun. I was less organized than I'd like to be, and several of our cooking experiments did not work so well. But the kids were splendid, not at all whiney, very hard-working, and we laughed a lot. We made pretzels yesterday but didn't quite get them baked before class was over. Sent home the partly-baked dough with the kids, so all was not lost.

Not many health concerns as of right now. Here's another BIG thanks to Patrona and to countless other donors of organs, blood, platelet, and marrow who have made life possible for so many of us very fortunate recipients.

Best to all, JSC

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 7:25 PM CDT day 245

This must be the wildlife hour: I watched a fox poking around just now. It sniffed and sniffed and trottted off on the trail of a rabbit or a squirrel. I've never seen one, much less out the bedroom window. This fox had reddish underbody fur and browner hair above; also a black stripe down the length of its tail. And a deer just ambled by also.

This morning I picked the first few daffodils. They weren't quite in bloom, but I didn't want them ruined by the rain. We've had about half an inch of rain in the last day or so. Little blue scilla are perking up the early flower bed near the deck. Tree coloring is a few weeks ahead of last year. That bright green is so welcome.

Enjoyed my classes yesterday and today so much! My timing is better than it was for last Saturday's classes, and the kids are so delightful. Today we investigated leavening agents and baked cupcakes with different ones. We also made sponge candy (cooked syrup with vinegar, then baking soda added at the end.) It's a two-hour class, and today we didn't have much time to clean up before the end.

Larry will be home tonight from his Math Teachers in Disneyland meeting. Sorry he missed hearing the US Poet Laureate at Plymouth Church last night--I think he would have enjoyed the poems that Ted Kooser read. I certainly had an inspiring evening with friend Lisa with dinner at a great Chinese restaurant to start with. And then to sit at the feet of a funny, thoughtful, "jug-eared," full-voiced, retired insurance vice-president poet! Wow!

Love to you all. JSC

Sunday, April 10, 2005 8:50 PM CDT day 243

Signs of spring: spring peepers singing all day and evening down in the pond, birds chasing each other all over the yard, lavender and purple crocuses blooming, trees starting to look a tiny bit green, and . . . peas, lettuce, carrot, and spinach seeds were safely interred in the garden this afternoon! Thought it might rain, but it didn't last long. I also got a new rain gauge installed (yeah!) and discovered a burst water pipe leading to the roof garden (boo!) Hauling watering cans up from faucet below will get old very soon!

We wish better health for Franz, who became ill at our lunch out this afternoon. We had planned to attend a play at church but had to miss it. All your best wishes and hopes are also requested for Jodi, Lisa, and Rebecca, who are all dealing with unexpected, unwelcome, and extended cancer treatments. What has happened to our collective tumor suppressor genes???

One the better news front, we were delighted to hear that Lynn's back in NY safely after her success at the Paleo-Archaeo conference. She had trouble getting to the NY airport last week and painful sinus problems on the plane. Friday she heard that she's been granted a National Science Foundation fellowship that will assure her grad school financial security! They were several weeks later this year than last in making decisions, so she was worried that she had not won. This will allow the three of us to pay her loans off sooner and give her the freedom for more research time. It should make her advisor pretty happy too.

My classes yesterday were pretty squirrely--had at least two very difficult children each, morning and afternoon. I think my timing in classes is off: some things tend to sag and other activities take much less time than I expect. I'll have to tune things up this next week. I have M-F two-hour classes in kitchen chemistry with the same students each day coming up. Should be fun.

Take care of everyone on your list, and I'll do the same. Our lists overlap considerably! JSC

Thursday, April 7, 2005 8:19 AM CDT day something-or-other

Good day! Just want to report that Lynn's talk was spectacular. She had a couple of problems with slides but was charming anyway. We got to meet a number of her other admirers at the coffee break. She was reporting on research she did last summer at the Smithsonian. This meeting is of paleo-anthropologists. There are also paleo-pathologists meeting at the same time, and then the "ordinary" physical anthropologists who arrive today. I get to hear Lynn's Columbia mentor speak on brain development this morning.

We three went to a spiffy French restaurant last night. Between jambalaya, garlic mashed potatoes, and Brusssels sprouts, we managed to find somethings that Lynn and Larry would eat. Sigh. The Salad Nicoise was quite nice (pun intended). She was introduced to profiteroles (little cream puffs) quite successfully.

Larry's off to a math meeting at Disneyland. Really! He says there'll be new rides just for the math teachers; he's already tried out all the old ones.

My train is later this afternoon, and I'll be home late tonight. Have a bunch of classes to teach from Friday morning through next Friday (two on Saturday, but none on Sunday). Sounds like old times.

Giant Thing sightings: a big mason's trowel (an art piece at the museum) and three giant lady bugs (lighted at night) on a building.

Maybe Sunday I can poke a few seeds in the ground. That would be an excellent treat. Hand washing continues. JSC

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 6:17 PM CDT day 238

Greetings from Milwaukee. This is my first trip away from home since escaping from the hospital last August. We caught the train on Monday, which was an hour or so late in St. Paul, and arrived pretty close to on time that afternoon. Breakfast on the train was a nice treat. Also wonderful to have plenty of leg room and lots of scenery.

It's not yet green in the midwest yet, so the best we saw was some little pine trees in an otherwise brown field. The random arrangement resolved itself into straight rows as the train went past.

Lynn got here this morning after a couple of busy, long days with no sleep. She went to anthro meetings most of the day and is now asleep until we decide where and when to go out to eat. We'll get to hear her talk tomorrow and maybe a practice session tonight.

Larry and I enjoyed the morning at the Milwaukee Public Museum--a classical natural history museum with lots of dioramas and specimens in cases. We also messed around with exhibits at the science museum. There were lots of mechanical exhibits with simple machines, gears, etc. Also a working 4-stroke engine that was pretty cool. We went to a tea room later in the afternoon and had ginger toast and sunshine cake with our tea. Then I spent awhile at the public library nearby, with a good local history section, although it isn't organized by place.

Feeling fine today, although I'm washing my hands at every possible opportunity. I hadn't realized how unaccustomed I am to the "normal world!"

Love and thanks to you all for keeping us propped up, JSC

Saturday, April 2, 2005 5:30 PM CST day 235

Oh dear, these new glasses I just picked up today are going to be a challenge to get used to . . . the hour I wore them this afternoon left me with a headache. At the computer I have a good view of my fingers, but the screen (that I want to see) is pretty fuzzy at all reasonable angles of my head. Hmmmm, maybe I can move forward or backward. Well, the frames are a cheery color at least!

Here's the letter from Patrona: "Dear Friend--Last week I received a phone call from the Bone Marrow Transplant Center, and they reported good news on your recovery and health. Although I do not understand all the complex medical terms, they assured me you are doing very well. I am so happy for you and your family -- after all you have been through it is good to know that you are able to have some fun this spring. May peace andjoy continue to bloom in the days ahead. Your strength and perseverance are a powerful witness to me and many others. My family, our friends, and our church celebrate with you. Peace, love, and hope to you!"

It is so dear to hear from her! We sent a couple of letters, but they might not have been delivered. So we'll send off another right away. Her generosity and wonderful cells are the reason I'm enjoying the spring. Heard spring peepers for a little while this afternoon--that's pretty special. No new flowers, but I imagine there will be more after I come back from Milwaukee next week.

Monday Larry and I are taking the train to hear Lynn speak on her research at the American Association of Physical Anthropologists national meeting. She's been able to attend the meeting each year since her first year at Columbia. That year the meeting was in Buffalo, NY, and she camped out on the floor with several students.

I taught another kids' class this morning, but it dragged a little. Activities took less time than I expected, so we had time for a couple of games. Several kids really enjoyed the logic puzzles we worked on. Those puzzles seem to have ridiculously little information, but then everything just seems to fall together. We'll try a Harry Potter-flavored puzzle next week.

Didn't get outdoors to lay waste to the forest today, but tomorrow should be a little less busy. I'd like to finish pruning that line of shrubs before Monday.

Best of the day to all, JSC

Friday, April 1, 2005 8:38 PM CST day 234

Hello all, Just a quick message so that the Update Police don't come to get me (giggle) . . . all's well on the health front. Liver enzyme numbers we agonized over in February are almost back down to normal values. My white count is still a bit low, but not enough to worry about. I have TWO MONTHS off until my next clinic appointment. And I received a letter today from my donor, dear Patrona! I'll post it tomorrow.

Have been pruning at a shrub border almost all week, an hour or so at a time, and I am sore and tired. I have a crime science class to teach tomorrow morning, so I'll be off to bed soon.

Best wishes to all! Janie

Tuesday we get to see Lynn in Milwaukee--more news later.

Monday, March 28, 2005 3:43 PM CST day 230

Hello all, I'm about to leave for a summer camp meeting (it's SO good to look forward to summer teaching), but I had to emote about the glorious, warm weather. It was still a bit chilly yesterday when I wandered around in the woods piling up fire wood we left in untidy clumps last spring or summer. Hard to remember when I was last mucking about. So TODAY I just had to muck about in earnest. Instead of laying waste to the Entire Forest in one day, I concentrated on pruning one shrub (the red-twig dogwood we planted when Lynn was born) and trying to repair our water management system that is supposed to keep our woodshed dry during spring thaw time.

It was just wonderful to get dirty. At least I'll die happy if I happen to contract some dreaded fungal disease. Please don't make me redeem that promise!

Our best to you all and a special Whoop, Whoop for Dr. Marcie Tomblyn, my transplant specialist, who has kept me alive these many months. I'm not quite in clinic withdrawl, but it will be a month between appointments when I return on Friday. No foolin' JSC

Saturday, March 26, 2005 4:45 PM CST

It's been a nice day to be outdoors puttering about. I got to the pool this morning for a few laps and a shower, helped a high school student with some chemistry lab experiments, bought a dress, ate lunch at a Nigerian restaurant, drove around intending to do some more errands but didn't, and got back home all in the same day. Planning to dance tonight too. It's still mostly gray, brown, and white around here with a few clouds in the blue sky.

Thinking gratefully of how well friends and family have propped us up these many months! We can't pay you back, but we can pass it on. JSC

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 10:28 AM CST day 225

Back to swimming this morning! It's been 233 days without my favorite exercise. I only managed 12 laps and walked a bit in the water. But that's a good start toward my next mile (36 laps). The hardest part about distance swimming is counting laps. I'm slow enough that if I swim an hour, it's just about a mile. Probably not this week!

Not much news around here. Boring is good in the transplant world. I'll look for some more pictures to post soon. Best of a sunny day to you all, JSC

FLASH! 5:30 PM Snowdrops are blooming in a little flowerbed on the south side of the house. This is pretty early for the little flowers. I moved them last year from a shadier place, so that must be why. Happy spring indeed.

Friday, March 18, 2005 4:47 PM CST day 220

Wow, is it ever snowing! Looks like at least 10 inches on the deck, but it's hard to remember what was there before this storm. There's a tradition of at least one big March snowstorm to go with the high school sports tournaments, so this must be the one. I-90 in southern MN was closed at 3 PM because the plows couldn't keep up.

My 6th graders were fun at the Museum today. I had three groups for a one-hour class on insects. I was expecting 15 in each group and had planned for several stations. But the groups were more like 20 to 25, and we were really crowded. Should have made one more phone call to the teacher! We had a couple kinds of microscopes, a number of mounted insect specimens, some posters and books, and then we finished with inventing an insect from pipeceaners, beads, and other doodads. Very fine!

It's a good night to stay indoors with a scarey novel and some hot rice and curry. Mmmmmmmmmm. Stay warm, JSC

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 10:54 AM CST day 218

I'm willing bet a couple of hugs that MINE is the only Caringbridge page with a picture of a statue of St. Urho today. I shouldn't be too prideful, however. Those Finlanders can be surprising.

The inscription at the base of the statue says:
"The Legend of St. Urho
One of the lesser known but extraordinary legends of ages past is the legend of St. Urho--patron saint of the Finnish vinyard workers.

" Before the last glacial period, wild grapes grew with abundance in the area now known as Finland. Archeologists have uncovered evidence of this scratched on the thigh bones of the giant bears that once roamed northern Europe. The wild grapes were threateded by a plague of grasshoppers until St. Urho banished the lot of them with a few selected Finnish words.

"In memory of this impressive demonstration of the Finnish language, Finnish people celebrate on March 16th, the day before St. Patrick's Day. It tends to serve as a reminder that St. Pat's Day is just around the corner and is thus celebrated by squares at sunrise on March 16. [Maybe this is a dance? JSC] Finnish women and children dressed in royal purple and nile green gather around the shores of the many lakes in Finland and chant what St. Urho chanted many years ago: 'Heinasirkka, heinasirkka, menetaalta hiiteen!' (Translated: 'grasshopper, grasshopper, go away!'

"Adult male (people, not grasshoppers) dressed in green costumes gather on the hillls overlooking the lakes, listen to the chant and then kicking out like grasshoppers, they slowly disappear to change costumes from green to purple. The celebration ends with singing and dancing polkas and schottisches and drinking grape juice, though these activities may occur in varying sequences.

"Color for the day is royal purple and nile green."

I'll soon be immersed in sorting photos on-line. I've used a film service in Seattle for many years, and they scan photos as well as developing old-fashioned film and sending prints. They changed servers recently, and I've just now been able to get access to my digital files. Maybe we'll do a Giant Thing of the Week?

Best of the day to you all! Janie

Monday, March 14, 2005 4:07 PM CST day 216

It's PI day (3.14), and Einstein's birthday, so be sure to celebrate.

I'm celebrating the little chunks of snow drifting down and getting rid of my constant companion of the last 7 months and 18 days. My Hickman catheter that went into the right atrium of my heart to deliver drugs and make blood tests easier IS OUT! It was easier coming out than going in. I haven't needed it for infusions since sometime in September, but Dr. Tomblyn was just making sure. I'm to avoid bending over (as in tying my shoes) for 24 hours to make sure the site heals. Should be able to swim by next week!

But I'm a little weary and feel like sitting and knitting rather than racing around the block. Had a bit of a nap and am considering a bowl of cereal right now.

Please keep Andrew Swanson and his family in your thoughts. He's been sedated in intensive care for a week getting over an infection. Any new jokes are welcome.
http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/andrewswanson/index.htm

This week I have a few social events, an eye exam, a meeting about one of my summer camps, 6th grade insect classes on Friday, and a tutoring session for a high school student on Saturday. That should be enough to whoop about.

Slightly pooped whoops from J

Saturday, March 12, 2005 10:44 PM CST day 214

Whew! What a lot of news to report today!

� Welcome to Rowan Amelia, daughter of Lisa Pribanic and Ron Copes. who arrived this morning. We'll post some pictures soon!

� I got to teach my first class since last May this morning--13 new crime scientists worked hard on codes and chromatography. We'll have two more sessions in April.

� And I got to DANCE tonight--first time since last July. It was lots of fun!

Here are some more exclamation points !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love to you all, J

Friday, March 11, 2005 7:14 PM CST day 213

OK, OK, there just isn't any news worth reporting! I know how impatient I am when "my kids" don't post anything new . . .

Inspector Sepoc is ready for a new class of criminologists tomorrow! I have about 15 students from a gifted and talented program for three hours tomorrow, then two more Saturday mornings in April. It meets at a community center in St. Paul, so I have to cart supplies there. Not much tomorrow, but I'll have microscopes the third week. We'll work on some codes and ciphers tomorrow, and figure out what colors of ink are mixed up in black markers. And we play some games and start a notebook with a picture of a detective and a crime science alphabet.

If you'd like to see one of the codes we'll study (The Dancing Men code), here's a link to the whole Sherlock Holmes story:
http://www.web-books.com/Classics/Doyle/Holmes/Return/Return03_1.htm
Page into it a few to find the little stick figures. Sometimes we learn Morse code, but I think not this time. For a whole week's mystery camp, I sometimes have kids build electric buzzers or flashers to send code to each other, but it takes quite a bit of practice just to remember the code long enough to know your own name.

So it's my first class of kids since last May, and I'm excited. I also hope none of them is newly exposed to something I could catch and die from. But that will make it an exciting day. There ought to be some sense of danger in every teacher's day! Next Friday I have three one-hour classes on insects for 6th graders at the Science Museum. I think this is a good ramp-up to seven weeks of camps this summer.

Best to you all! Janie

Monday, March 7, 2005 12:17 PM CST day 209

Confessions of a CaringBridge Junkie

Therapy may be recommended if:

� you check "your kids' sites" before breakfast or during a meal

� you have communicated with your friends or family members through the CB site of someone you have never met

� you forward site addresses to others with no other words needed

� you have received messages, calls, e-mails, and letters from other CB habitue(accent ague)s

� "Diana's cousin" or "Lynn's mom" are appropriate identifiers

� you know the passwords to 2 or more CB accounts

� the first thing you ask for in the hospital is Internet access

What else can you add to the list? Bright, windy, and COLD in Minnesota, JSC

Friday, March 4, 2005 4:01 PM CST day 206

March forth, indeed. Lots of whoopage around here because:

� I get to have my central line removed. Then I can swim. And get a mammogram. Hmmm. It just didn't sound comfortable to do that with the line in. My nurse today suggested I tell Dr. Tomblyn that the line was interfering with my parachute jumping. But it didn't take that drastic a story for her to say, "Let's get rid of it!"

� My liver enzyme numbers are starting to look better. That means I can go a MONTH until my next clinic visit, then three months after that.

� I can get my eyes checked and have a regular physical exam, just like an ordinary person. But no tooth cleaning until August--there's always something!

� No more biopsies until August--that's my ONE YEAR birthday!

� I'll be teaching a class a week from tomorrow, and several more two weeks from today.

� I'm going to the contradance tomorrow night just to listen. And then DANCE UP A STORM the following week!

� Shouldn't be any problems with gardening this year. I will buy tomato and pepper plants instead of starting them indoors, and that will have to be OK.

Smiles. Grins. Chuckles. JSC

Wednesday, March 2, 2005 5:00 PM CST Day 204

Progress: Today I finished piecing the "blue part" of my second-ever quilt. I started collecting fabrics about three years ago and did a lot of the hand sewing while traveling to outstate Minnesota for school outreach. Then I started piecing the stars into blue patches, and finally I connected the bits with more plain blocks. The quilt has stars at the top, moons in the middle, and suns at the bottom--representing seeds, seed heads, and dandelion blossoms in a yard. It's a very free-form interpretation of my favorite in a book of poems and miniature quilts by Anna Grosnickle Hines. Now I'll start on the green part, which I think will be much harder. There's such a lot of variety in greens!

This afternoon, Larry and I took a short walk. He's trying out walking without his aircast, so it was not too far. That was about all I wanted to do also. It's a beautiful sunny day, but the wind is cold.

Lynn's decided on Arizona State for grad school!! Or maybe we should wait to mention it until she has an offer in writing. When she got there to interview last week, they essentially said, "What do we have to do to get you to come here?" She did like many things about the programs at Wash U (St. Louis) and George Wash U (D.C.), but she's most delighted with ASU.

Best to you all, JSC

Saturday, February 26, 2005 8:31 PM CST day 200

Hmmmm. Day 200 snuck up on me. I remember wondering at day 100 whether the next 100 days would be as memorable as the first 100. Hmmm.

Well, I'm in such trouble now. I haven't been exercising much, and there's really no reason for it other than I just need to be a little rebellious! And now my friend Sue at the gym in South St. Paul (hi, Sue!) wrote to say she hasn't seen me there recently. I know she reads the news here, so she knows I'm not terribly ill and I haven't broken both legs. At least I did get outside to walk some today. I'll try to be good, really I will.

I had a vivid dream about my mother last night. The dream was full of lilacs (and their wonderful smell) and tiny red roses I was putting in a vase. My dreams with smells are so dear! What part of our brains makes that happen?

So why did I dream about my mother (Alice Snell) last night? Well perhaps, just perhaps it was a message that one Alice was getting ready to welcome another Alice. This afternoon about 2 PM, our friend Alice Schroeder slipped away. Her body can't take her any farther. I think she had a friend waiting. Bon voyage, dear friend. JSC

Thursday, February 24, 2005 0:43 AM CST

Hmm. Janie hasn�t updated this site for some time, so I suppose I should do so, to give you some reward for having checked in. We do appreciate your attention more than we can say.

Things are getting back to normal here--as normal as they can be knowing that her liver is still being attacked. She�s itching a lot, especially in the evening, but fortunately has no other external symptoms.

We had a delightful time at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts Saturday with Ben and Laura. Janie went in to the Science Museum several times since then for various activities. And she�s convinced that Patrona is a shopper; Janie has found that activity enjoyable, whereas she used to hate it. Of course, deprivation might be the motivator here.

She�s also been quite busy organizing respite care for our friend Alice�s sister, who was her full-time caregiver until yesterday. Now Alice has moved into a hospice. We visited with her this afternoon, saying goodbyes. She was somewhat responsive despite heavy sedation.

Lynn found out that her trip to Arizona State was not for an interview but for recruiting. She has offers from three of the four grad schools she applied to, and is heading to the fourth one tomorrow for interviews (presumably). Making up her mind may be difficult, but I think she really can�t go wrong. We�re proud to know her.

As for my famous foot, I went all afternoon and evening without the cast. I probably would have worn it had I gotten to walk, though. Things are still a bit iffy down there. I may not be able to dance without it Saturday after all.

Thank you again for your care and support. And of course thanks to Patrona, as always, our sine qua non.

Love,
larry

Thursday, February 24, 2005 0:43 AM CST

Hmm. Janie hasn�t updated this site for some time, so I suppose I should do so, to give you some reward for having checked in. We do appreciate your attention more than we can say.

Things are getting back to normal here--as normal as they can be knowing that her liver is still being attacked. She�s itching a lot, especially in the evening, but otherwise has no external symptoms, fortunately.

We had a delightful time at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts Saturday with Ben and Laura. Janie was in to the Science Museum several times since then for various activities. And she�s convinced that Patrona is a shopper; Janie has found that activity enjoyable, whereas she used to hate it. Of course, deprivation might be the motivator here.

She�s also been quite busy organizing respite care for our friend Alice�s sister, who was her full-time caregiver until yesterday. Now Alice has moved into a hospice. We visited with her this afternoon, saying goodbyes. She was somewhat responsive despite heavy sedation.

Lynn found out that her trip to Arizona State was not for an interview but for recruiting. She has offers from three of the four grad schools she applied to, and is heading to the fourth one tomorrow for interviews (presumably). Making up her mind may be difficult, but I think she really can�t go wrong. We�re proud to know her.

Thank you again for your wonderful support. And of course thanks to Patrona, as always, our sine non qua.

Love,
larry

Friday, February 18, 2005 4:39 PM CST day 192

Whoo(p), whoo(p) on day 192(p).

Biopsy results are ALL NEGATIVE: no signs of leukemia at all. All three tests! That's a first! Let's celebrate!

Liver function test results are still high. That's not good, but Dr. Tomblyn thinks they are stable enough to let me have two weeks until next appointment. That's good. She's ready to say officially I have mild chronic liver graft-vs.-host issues. If I can get by without symptoms (other than blood test numbers), that's OK. The fact that Patrona is doing a little attacking of my liver means that my overall immune system isn't so available to fight infections. But I got over this cold without complications, so I hope other bugs will stay away.

Larry had another walk outdoors, and he's starting to spend some time without his cast. That's way good. He's finished editing another book chapter for a local colleague, so he's free to play for a couple of days!!

It's snowing big gobs and chunks of snow that spin around like maple seeds. Don't tell Larry, but I think that's good! Guess we'd better clear the driveway this time--last weekend we hoped the warm weather would do the job, and we both had difficulty driving out of the driveway.

It's a beautiful day in our world because of your continued love and care. We hold you all in our hearts. JSC

Thursday, February 17, 2005 9:08 PM CST Day 191

A milestone: Larry went for a walk today in his air cast and did not trip over any milestones.

I've been "organizing" the CaringBridge websites I check in on every day--making bookmarks and finding new stories to follow. I know Lynn and Larry do the same--part of the ritual of a new day, seeing how everyone is doing, sometimes offering a new idea, often just quietly sharing another family's struggles and triumphs. If it's an addiction, too bad! I'm constantly astonished at how this organization builds communities.

I enjoyed the "Oh, How Waffle" lunch with education staff at the Science Museum. It's an old tradition that gets more elaborate each year. We had spinach-cheese waffles and buckwheat-flaxseed waffles, and plain old waffles with whipped cream, fruit, chocolate syrup, jam, and all sorts of other toppings.

I came home and slept awhile after trying to find a mistake in my shawl project. I periodically get stuck in the lace pattern. Tomorrow it will be simple, but I can't find the problem now. Then I went back to the museum tonight for a lecture on how mammalian characteristics evolved from reptiles and dinosaurs--very cool. It was confirmed that my 3 sets of teeth are a missing link between more primative forms (sharks, crocs, etc., who have boucoup sets of teeth) and other humans (who have only 2).

We'll see what the enzymes show us tomorrow. I'm almost over my cold, so maybe my white count will have recovered. And maybe we'll have the rest of the biopsy results (from THREE WEEKS AGO). Grump.

Rest well and greet the new day! Janie

Monday, February 14, 2005 4:29 PM CST day 188

It's wet and mooshy, but we have snow to cover up the gray and brown. This morning, all the branches were covered. The barest breeze brought down great plops, and by noon just the ground snow was left. I shoveled some of it onto my prairie rain garden that had lost its snow cover last week.

All's still well. I'm almost over this cold. WHERE do the gallons of glop come from?? I don't know how any one head can hold it all. Well, it does drip out, no? Enough gross-eries.

It was a pleasure to see our friend Alice at her apartment yesterday afternoon. I was beginning to think I'M the jinx on her health: we've had to postpone two get-togethers recently because she ended up in the hospital. And Saturday night, she was back, although only briefly. I've been contacting friends to visit with her and stay overnight a couple of evenings a week. She is struggling with pancreatic cancer diagnosed last April. Her medications are keeping her fairly comfortable, for which we are all grateful.

And you, dear friends! We are so grateful for your presence in our lives. JSC

Saturday, February 12, 2005 4:09 PM CST Day 186

Lots of tricks on day 186!

Yesterday and today, the warm weather called me to walk outside. It's very organic-smelling out there. Probably just dog left-overs, but I can dream that the ground is thawing and getting ready for flowers pushing up through the snow. There is a little bit of snow, but with three warm days and possibly some rain tomorrow, it'll just about be gone. This is the time of flooded ditches since there's still ice under the water.

Today I got a great idea for improving the garden fences. Rabbits and woodchucks really ravage the place without a fence, but my first invention makes it really hard to remove the sections to weed. I THINK it will work to fasten down the bottom edge of the fencing permanently and make the upper part "foldable" . . . we'll see how complicated this ends up.

I got back to a little quilt work this morning--it just hasn't appealed to me recently, but I know I'll want to be outdoors soon. I'm starting a new shawl after deciding the first one was too boring and didn't drape well. I had just gotten to a pattern section when I found a mistake several rows before and had to pull it out. I think things are back on track now.

Larry's going to try dancing tonight. The CT scan did not show a broken bone in his foot. His arch supports are being re-made, and his doctor is suggesting that he spend some time out of the cast each day once the supports are ready. Larry did NOT ask about dancing, but he figures it's worth a try. It was just too tempting a couple of weeks ago when we went to listen to the great music, and my doctor has definitely said "not yet,"

Time for a little more sheet rock mud . . . we do live a fascinating life, don't we?? Nice to see a couple of neighbors outdoors today! JSC

Friday, February 11, 2005 1:44 PM CST Day 185

Not much new news. Test results at the clinic are about the same as Tuesday. My white count is down again, most likely because I have a cold. Lungs sound fine. Next appointment will be next Friday unless Dr. Tomblyn wants to see me sooner and calls--she's out of the office until next Tuesday and I saw a different doctor today.

Things are stable. Lynn reports that she has an invitation from Arizona State to visit later in February--her first choice! So far her schools are paying for her airfare (or train, going to D.C.) and finding places for her to stay. We're excited for her.

And we love you all, JSC

Thursday, February 10, 2005 10:22 AM CST 6 Months Today

Ready for More at Day 184!

I find my self looking forward to . . . sheetrocking.

Yes, the bathroom project (adding an outlet) is at the finishing stages, and didn't take three months. Our last renovation ("all we have to do is . . . ") was nearly endless. I'll get another coat of mud or two done today, and we should have it painted by the weekend. Hmmmm, breath-holding is not advised.

Yesterday I enjoyed some employment as advisor to a project at the Science Museum, meeting with teams from local science-based organizations and helping with their projects. I prepared a couple of handouts with writing tips that reminded me of some good principles.

Today I'm taking it easy to get rid of this cold, get the oil changed, celebrate a little bit. I hope to attend a talk about fossils at the museum tonight, part of a series in honor of the Chinasaurs exhibit. I won't go to the Saturday lectures because the museum is so crowded with sneezing people, but Thursday nights should be safer.

Our friend Alice is back home after a few days in the hospital. I spoke with her last night and have been calling others to visit with her. So happy she's better!

Back to the clinic tomorrow to check those 'zymes again. Our goal is to keep this GVH flare small enough not to need steroids, and that means checking frequently. There isn't anything I can do to bring the concentrations down and make my liver function more normally. And it doesn't do any good to worry. So stay tuned.

Thanks and ever thanks for your arms around us. We simply could not have made it this far without your love and care. Jane (Larry, Lynn, Threaddy, Yuppie, Ralphie, Black-eyed Susan, assorted house plants, etc.)

Tuesday, February 8, 2005 4:53 PM CST day 182

Closing in on 6 months since Patrona's gift! We'll celebrate somehow on Thursday.

OK, now I'm officially FRUSTRATED by this whole business. I've been as patient as I can, but I think I'm a prisoner in the Bone Marrow Transplant Clinic! I feel fine. Most of my blood tests are fine. No fevers. So I think I have a cold, but it's almost as if an "ordinary person" had a cold. PCR tests from my biopsy are negative (that's good), and there's verbal info that the FISH test is also negative (more good).

But. Ignore everything before the but. I've got some GVH skin involvement. My liver enzymes are back up to last week's high numbers after coming down some on Friday. So I have to go back again Friday for more tests. Good news: we're not treating anything yet.

BUT I'm alive and enjoying watching a white-tailed deer out the window. It's still light at 5 PM! We heard that Lynn's accepted at SUNY-Stony Brook for grad school. It's her first actual accepance out of four applications. Larry's mother reports that her arteries seem to belong to a far younger person, and they've scheduled more tests next week. She is still very fatigued, but she's laughing again and feeling much better emotionally. And even the sheetrock has not risen up to smite us yet today.

So, that's enough whining from me. Thanks for the great shoulders! I probably should return to air hugs for a bit until we get over this little bump in the road. Please let be a little bump. Love to you all, JSC

Monday, February 7, 2005 10:48 PM CST

What? Janie went to bed without updating?

Guess she�s been updating all day�friend Alice�s web site, phone calls and emails to keep communication about Alice�s condition, arranging care for Alice if/when she goes home from the hospital. So she can be forgiven. Can�t she?

I�m not sure she can be forgiven for getting a cold, though. She thinks she didn�t wash her hands quite enough when she was in a group last week. I wonder why it took so long to take, if that�s the case. Anyway, she doesn�t seem any sicker than normally with a cold. But she did go to bed somewhat early to try to shake it. What will Dr. Marcie say tomorrow? Of course, she suffers more than I do, but I do tend to worry just a little�.

She�s hoping to have more results tomorrow from the biopsy. And word that those liver enzymes are diminishing in number. Every additional day without steroids is a blessing.

Today she helped with the bathroom project (minor turned monstrous if not large) by begging from friends some wallboard in less than a 4x8 foot sheet. We had only thicker stuff, probably delivered by accident when we built the house 22+ years ago. (Unassisted by computers, people made mistakes like that back then.) I got the electrical boxes attached and the switches/outlet wired, bringing me back to where I was a week ago before I decided to redo it all to look better. Tomorrow I�ll put in the sheetrock. J. said she�d tape and sand. With a mask, I hope. By the end of the week we may have our bathroom back. Now that the temps have dropped again, the outhouse is getting tiresome.

Some of you have complained that you never know what to believe of what I write. I give you the advice I always give my students: Don�t believe anything I say unless it�s true.

And so we ongo, supported by loveyour.

Love,
larry

Sunday, February 6, 2005 5:27 PM CST day 180

Hello all, we're having a fine day after three days of 50 degree temperatures. There's still a bit of snow, but it won't be around for long.

Yesterday we got to see Lynn for a couple of hours between her flights from St. Louis back to NY. She had a very good visit at Washington University anthro department, which seems like a very happy place. They don't fight or snarl at one other, and "even the cultural anthropologists are nice" she sez. She has a visit to D.C. planned later in February to meet George Washington U folks--a very small department apparently.

Larry and I got to church today and had lunch with several friends of Alice Schroeder afterwards. This group is working on contacting her friends for care after she's out of the hospital later this week. It's hard for all of us to know that she has only a few more weeks. We want her to be comfortable and not afraid.

We have another little transplant friend courtesy of CaringBridge: she is Chiara in California, who is about 2 1/2 years old. She's 5 day post-transplant for a juvenile form of leukemia. We know her family would appreciate your concern www2.caringbridge.org/me/chiara We're glad to see that Spencer and Andrew are doing really well!

Our best to you all, JSC

Friday, February 4, 2005 12:38 PM CST day 178

Had a great time going to a meeting at the Science Museum this morning. I really shouldn't say that, but I haven't been to this particular All Staff meeting since last May, I think. It was great to hear news and see friends.

Clinic news: numbers we were concerned about are a little better today, and I'm still feeling fine. I will go back for more tests next Tuesday. Was still hoping for a week off, but my doctor will be out of town and wants one more check before she leaves. Still no news from the biopsy, but the preliminary results are good. Meaning, the tests that would show the "bad gene" are negative. They're qualitative tests, and we're really waiting for the cytogenetics report, for which 20 to 50 cells are grown and examined individually for the bad chromosome.

Our friend Alice is back in the hospital. It seems to be blood clots again, and she's in Intensive Care (so no visitors at present). We will keep her website updated (www.caringbridge.org/mn/alices) as we have more information.

And another transplant voyageur, little Hannah from Long Island, died Wednesday morning. She was here in MN for transplant in the summer and was just a few days behind me in her progress. Hers was a very unusual genetic condition that has not been cured by transplant as yet. We ache for her family.

We'll update with news from Lynn's grad school trip to St. Louis tomorrow. She has a layover in MSP long enough for us to go out for lunch.

Our love and gratitude to all of you who keep your arms around us, JSC

Tuesday, February 1, 2005 7:06 PM CST day 175

Here's the good news: my pill box now has only TWO pills a day in it, and one of them is a vitamin! So I don't need the 28-section box I came home from the hospital with and can use a little one. Just think how much time I'll save now.

Now the reason for this change isn't quite what we were hoping for. Today at the clinic, we found that my liver enzymes are way off the chart--too high. This is a big change from two weeks ago. It's nothing I have any symptoms of yet, but the blood tests don't lie.

SO it could be that the drug I love to hate (V-fend, Voriconazole, an anti-fungal drug that makes the flashing lights) could cause that to happen. So Dr. Tomblyn said to stop that one! Yeah!

OR it could be a viral infection (and that would also explain my lower white blood count, although it's better today than last week). So they took a bunch more blood samples to look for four possibilities.

OR it could really be the dreaded-but-cautiously-longed-for graft-versus-host (GVH) disease, meaning that Patrona's cells (well, they ARE mine now) are attacking something they find foreign: my liver. GVH is dreaded because I need my immune system to fight off infections, not attack my body. Sometimes it has to be treated with steroids (ick, ick, ick). But we WANT some GVH so that we're sure we have a good graft-versus-leukemia (GVL) effect, which is quite hard to detect without some GVH. Just not too much.

SO instead of getting a week or more off from going to the clinic (I hoped), I have to go back Friday to get the liver enzymes checked again. Dr. T would be happy with a leveling off of the numbers, and we'll see if they'll go down by themselves. I understand sometimes there is a liver biopsy, but we aren't talking about that yet.

So getting back to teaching in March is looking iffy--if I have to be treated for GVH, I for sure shouldn't be around kids. Steroids cut down on the inflammation problems with GVH, but they also supress my immune functions big time. I should probably stop hugging so many people right now too.

So stay tuned! It's all of a sudden not boring around here.

On a brighter note, I had a great time at a teaching workshop at the Science Museum with lots of friends from the education department and other groups. I learned a lot, and there are two more five-hour sessions coming up later this month. I got a great idea for another activity to add to a Penny Science class I'd love to teach. I may write it all up for a journal like Science and Children.

We love you all! Lynn's off to St. Louis tomorrow to see how she likes the Washington University anthropology department. She travels back to NY through MSP, so we'll pick her up at the airport Saturday for lunch between her flights and hear all about it. I'm absolutely unashamed about living a little of my life through my daughter right now!

Cheers, JSC

Monday, January 31, 2005 10:51 PM CST

I see J is in bed without updating, so I�ll do it.

How much boring stuff can you stand to read? We�ve had another couple of days with no major health news.

Janie went to church Sunday, but at the last minute I decided to stay home. I was tired of dragging my leg around in its cussed cast. Over the day I slowly did some house cleaning and got a couple of projects off my desk.

Today Janie ran errands. I worked. Tonight we went over to friend Dave�s house, where we met Joyce and we all watched a dance video from Mexico and tried to figure out a couple of the moves. Great fun. J was a little dizzy but otherwise no more tired that she used to be by 9 p.m. And she was nice enough to drive the 45 minutes each way, so I didn�t have to keep taking the cast off to fit into the driver�s seat. She finds it hard to drive at night, so it was quite a sacrifice.

Along the way I noticed some folks on a lake/pond ice fishing by the light of their truck headlights. We didn�t have to live in Minnesota long to realize that ice fishing is about guys being in touch with their ancestors, guys bonding with their friends and kids, guys getting out of the house. It has almost nothing to do with bringing home ice.

Love,
larry

Saturday, January 29, 2005 11:16 PM CST

If you wanted to see how well Janie�s doing, you could have showed up at Tapestry tonight. She and I were both there, each to make sure the other one didn�t yield to the temptation to dance. We went to hear the music of a very good band and to see friends. The outpouring of friendship alone made it well worth the trip. And we did dance a little: we did a waltz and a half at the end of the first half. My gigantic cast didn�t allow anything too fancy, but it was good to dance together for the first time since July!

Of course, she did the driving. And this morning she put together the new bookcase for my study (while I dismantled the old contraption). So she�s doing pretty well. Not up to actually touching lots of folks through contradancing, but the fact that she doesn�t have all her strength back yet doesn�t show.

To all of you, but tonight especially to you in the dance community, we again send our gratitude.

Love,
larry

Friday, January 28, 2005 7:18 PM CST It's Day 171

Quick note to say we're OK. Larry had another podiatrist appointment this afternoon and came away with an air cast. Guess his trial of dancing last weekend and walking Tuesday weren't the best therapy. He'll get a CT scan on Monday and see if the suspected talus (little ankle bone) fracture is really there.

We went out for tea and a sweet, then visited the fabulous IKEA store and bought another bookcase for Larry's study. It's an amazing place. I'd almost say that shopping could be a pleasant experience. Surely not!

Only odd thing yesterday at the clinic is that my white count was suddenly half of what it had been on the 18th. I asked them to do a second test, and it was even lower. Other numbers were OK, but my neutrophils really took a hit somehow--haven't been that low since September. I called today to see what Dr. Tomblyn would say. She thought we should wait for at least the preliminary biopsy results, which we should have by my next appt. on Tuesday. I don't know many things that would cause a DROP in white cells. Infections would cause an increase. I don't FEEL anything odd, so stay tuned.

Love to you all, J

Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:58 PM CST This is Day 170

Good afternoon. I'm prying my eyes open from that "is this a dream or what?" dream. You know, you're sure you've just pushed up through another layer of it, but that layer is a dream too. This one is brought to me by morphine, which our clinic now thinks is better than demerol for biopsies. SO, I'm really groggy! Guess I'll have to stay away from the drill press and chain saw for a few minutes more.

We had a good team of "drillers" this morning, and I didnt' think the procedure was so difficult as other times. And no vomiting while lying on my stomach, a very good sign. It'll still be 2 or 3 weeks' wait for results, but there will be some preliminary news next Tuesday. Usually that's just "yes, there are Patrona's cells in there," but we've know that for some time.

So back to fun things: Monday I tromped in the woods on snowshoes, which left me out of breath pretty soon. Snow was pretty sticky and the air was lovely. I followed a lot of deer trails and came back in with lots of cockleburrs. Tuesday Larry and I walked a bit; he called the return point to not stress his ankle too much. It's doing worse today, so he'll try another specialist tomorrow. Maybe a temporary cast would give it more time to heal.

Yesterday afternoon I returned to the Science Museum to help with a workshop of community science partners, a part of a big National Science Foundation grant on community outreach. It was wonderful to meet new folks and think about how I can help them with projects (building radios with kids, training teachers for a youth program, slipping some Science Dances into a Montessori program). We see this group again in two weeks, and then a month later in March.

Thanks for your arms around us. We couldn't keep it up without your love. Janie

Thursday, January 27, 2005 0:02 AM CST

Janie didn�t update today, so I�m going to. (Franz mentioned today that I should identify myself at the beginning, so I�ll sign in: This is Larry. I think. Therefore I am. Larry.) Not that there�s much to say (apparently). Janie spent the afternoon at the Science Museum and came home with lots of hugs. That still scares me�not her hugs with me, but those with others. I�ll grin and bear it, because she really is fine. She has a good, solid, Patrona-generated immune system. I know this right here in my brain.

No walk today. Janie was gone and my foot was hurting again. (Not related events.) I�d better have it looked at some more. Not tomorrow, though. Janie has a biopsy in the morning. She�ll be recovering from the drugs most of the afternoon and perhaps into Friday, and I�ll be hovering. I�ll know she�s recovered when my hovering starts to bug her.

We won�t have results from the biopsy for a few weeks, so don�t hold your breath. But we would like to hear that they couldn�t find any nasty cells, no matter how hard they looked. That would indicate that Patrona�s cells have succeeded in killing off the leukemia without hurting the host, the best we could hope for.

Thanks to all of you who gave Janie such support today at SMM, and to all of the rest of you for supporting us both, at least by checking in.

Love,
larry

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 8:52 PM CST day 168

Good evening! We've had a mellow day with lots of sunshine and temps in the 40's above zero. Larry and I got out for a short walk this afternoon--he called the turn-around point so I wouldn't have to run ahead to bring him home in the garden cart. That's an interesting image, isn't it?

We messed around with the digital camera some more. Apparently I accidentally made video with it last weekend when I was trying to get a good snowblower shot. It took up all the memory, and we didn't quite know how to download what we had. But the camera itself had some software that did the trick.

I spent a great morning with neighbor Mary Rose, who is now my job coach. She had lots of good ideas about writing ventures I can get started on before I'm quite ready to get back to kids' stuff. She's helping me focus on a few things rather than be quite so scattered as I have sometimes been.

Larry's brother Ron is on tour with the Juilliard Quartet in California and ended up in the hospital with a large kidney stone. He was getting rehydrated and some pain relief today while a specialist re-read the CT scan and decided what to do. The quartet has had a guest oboist with them, and they could rearrange tonight's program to do without Ron. There are a couple more stops before they're back to NY, so we hope he mends quickly.

Let's see if I can change some of those pictures . . . nope, it's just not going to happen tonight. Be well! JSC

Monday, January 24, 2005 11:11 AM CST day 167

Another Life Change

Well, it's happened. My hair is definitely curly. They told me this might happen. Is it Revenge of the Home Permanents of my childhood? I guess the experiences of the last five months would curl most people's hair.

It's not so hard as when I was seven and my blue eyes started turning green. I didn't want to believe it, and my sister reminded me of it every day! I wanted my eyes to be like my father's, and they weren't any longer.

Somehow we'll cope. I'm so glad to HAVE hair. Those weeks without it were hard.

A couple more "firsts" yesterday: a lovely brunch at a crowded restaurant with our friends Ben and Laura--thank you, thank you! It was so good to be with you and look forward to dim sum some time soon. Then I did the fortnight's grocery shopping! Whoop, whoop. I've been cooking and have planned meals and made a grocery list and gone for a few things at odd times. But this is a first since July. Larry and I trade off cooking and shopping; I'm glad to be doing my share at last. I think I got gas for the first time on Saturday--not that it's dangerous for me, it just happened that L or L had the car when it was low.

Larry's update: he did go dancing Saturday night. He danced about every other dance. Came home kind of discouraged that his brain-to-feet memory is a bit impaired. His foot did recover by Sunday, but he'll have to take it a little slower.

From Lynn: she has a cold, but not pneumonia. She just got an invitation to visit one of her potential grad schools (at their expense). Happy dance, happy dance.

I gotta go play in the snow! Janie

Saturday, January 22, 2005 12:24 PM CST day 165

Glad to be alive on day 165. I see the driveway snow is gradually being eaten away by a red monster guided by a snow-covered biped. It was indeed A Snowy Day (get this book--Ezra Jack Keats) yesterday. Fine, dry, blowable stuff that kept coming all afternoon and night. This is the first snow of more than an inch ALL WINTER for us, so a few of us are celebrating. Lynn, I'm sorry we couldn't have had this a week earlier for you to play in. I'll get out my showshoes this afternoon for sure.

Well, I'm in a Running Amuck mode here. Need to get a lot of it out of my system, I guess. I slugged about in bed long enough this morning that my first meal was lunch rather than breakfast. Spent some time reading more Caring Bridge stories too. If any of you in Metro New York, especially Long Island, can donate blood, there is a desperate need for O-neg blood. It's for Hannah Mollie Stimell, and the blood banks all have her case number. She also needs platelets, but they're type-matching to close relatives. In my case, I would get irradiated platelets, and I don't think the matching matters. But I haven't needed any.

Yesterday, besides not updating the webpage, I spent several hours at the Science Museum (germ central), but mostly with adults. Thanks especially to my friend Leon who knows better than to approach with open arms; his wife Cheryl had a transplant two years ago, and they've had a very rugged road to travel. So Leon is super cautious of contagion. I went in to work on details of a workshop I'm helping to facilitate next week; had a great lunch and nourishing conversation with workshop partner Chris. And around every corner was another friend to greet and explain that I'm gradually getting back to at least adult meetings soon and will teach my first kids' class in March.

I tried out a great chicken-tomato-curry-peanut stew from my Kwanzaa cookbook for supper. Cocoanut rice is NOT worth the time for something a little extra fancy! Larry and I are reading aloud a Nero Wolfe (Rex Stout) mystery, and I almost finished my knitted shawl. Looks like another couple of rows. But instead of that being bedtime, I stayed up reading another mystery and roasted marshmallows over the candles that are now on our Christmas ornament tree (instead of the lights and ornaments). We turned the living room furniture around last weekend to face the (cold, sad) fireplace and put the candle tree on the hearth to cheer us.

This muckage is not QUITE as exciting as that suggested by neighbor Anna, who on my day 40-something card enticed me to squeeze all the toothpaste out and paint the walls with it. It would have been fun, Anna, but I just wasn't ready to be that wild and crazy yet.

Larry's making noises about going dancing tonight--maybe dancing every other dance. His stress fracture is healing and most of the tendon inflammation and pain is gone. So, sigh, I'll just stay home and make angels in the snow! When he's finished with the biggest part of the driveway clearing, he's going to let me shovel off the front step (where half the snow blown off the driveway ends up) I also found yesterday that I deserve a new car snow brush--mine had most of the bristles chewed (loved?) off and had been caught at least once in the car door.

As they say, boring is good on the recovery front. Sorry if we've put you to sleep yet again. Eyes on the prize, JSC

Thursday, January 20, 2005 6:12 PM CST day 163

It seems to me that we do a great deal of waiting, those of us who are caught in the web of the medical world. Right now, I'm waiting for a test next week to tell us whether Patrona's cells are getting rid of the leukemia. We wanted to wait a month after finishing Cyclosporin to give those ferocious lymphocytes a chance to shine. After the test, it'll be 2 to 4 weeks wait until we have the results. It's a lot of uncertainty and a lot of waiting around. In the meantime, I'm behaving as if I'm well, with a few restrictions on my activities (e.g., swimming, digging, dancing, messing around with kids). But I can imagine the time when I can do those things again.

Every day, Lynn, Larry, and I "check up on" several CaringBridge sites for friends and for people we've never met, adults and kids, just ordinary folks who are also entangled in the waiting web. Each of us can tell when one of us has "fallen into" a new story, because it's nearly impossible to stop reading. We send encouraging words, think what could be worse in our lives, and trudge on.

For Hannah, who had a transplant here about the time I left the hospital, things are not going well. She's just a year old, and the transplant for Niemann Pick A disease is practically the first ever in the world. She desperately needs platelets and red cells, and her family on Long Island need our prayers and hopes. She has the best medical care possible, but it's still a waiting game. www.caringbridge.org/ny/hannah

10-year-old Andrew is waiting out more tests and decisions this week in his fight with brain and spinal cancer, discovered this fall. He lives in the metro area, and I know his father from science outreach gigs. Andrew has done very well with radiation and chemo and has his own stem cells stored away to use for a transplant, which may be soon. He's been at school nearly every day throughout the treatments! www.caringbridge.org/mn/andrewswanson

And Spencer! You have to meet Spencer and his dad Steve. Spencer's 9, on day 7 of a transplant with bone marrow from his younger brother. They've been through an incredible war with neuroblastoma, and this kid just keeps coming up grinning. He's invented a new game with his dog, begs for more electronic games, finished all there was to third grade arithmetic in the few days he could attend school this fall, and keeps on keeping on. www2.caringbridge.org/canada/spencer
Read back several months of Steve's crazy, sharp, wonderful prose to hear a parent's ways of coping with scary, scary times.

Of course, as we "adopt" CB folks, most of them so much sicker than I've ever been, we get close enough to even these strangers to feel a crushing emptiness when they die. Who would ever wish more suffering on anyone? But there's nothing at all about cancer that is fair. I've tried to read back through those days and weeks before the end, to try to see the trajectory that lead to that death. To wonder where I am in that regard. To try to imagine what to write to families who have lost this dear person. And I come up short every time. But we still read the stories and keep writing our own. Because that's all we can do.

Larry's ankle says: ouch, I have a little broken bone, but the tendon isn't torn and is much less painful now. His specialist made casts for spiffy orthotics. Looks like surgery is very unlikely. Dancing this weekend? Probably not, but soon.

Lynn says: I love school. But she's got a cold and is working on getting well.

Janie says: Harry Potter paper is READY to send to the Journal of Chemical Education for review. I hope they'll like it, but at least I finished it! Quilt is coming along very well--I'm about to get into the greens. Will put up some photos soon.

Our love and thanks to all, JSC

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 3:45 PM CST Day 161

Have fun with a pun on day 161.

Whoopage is order! It was VERY crowded in the clinic today. Our friends Greg and Laurie were there and looking wonderful. Walt and Judy were there as well, and also doing well. We all have hair and are probably causing our mates as much trouble as possible.

So all my tests looked good. NO MORE magnesium supplements--that will save me 3 seconds a day! My red cells and hemoglobin are finally up to normal. Wasn't a big problem; it just took several months to get to this point.

We've rescheduled the next biopsy for the 28th to give me one more week without immunosuppressants before we see what Patrona hath done. If we have good results, I should be able to stop two more drugs and get my nifty French Double-Lumen Catheter out all in February. Dr. Tomblyn says we'll check immunoglobulins and T cells (measures of how well my system is working) and some other things soon. 6 months will be the 10th of February. Whoop, whoop.

The quilt is still growing. I had a poetic moment this morning when I thought about the back side of a quilt, the inside that no one sees. I took a few pictures and got down some ideas. We'll see what happens.

Just heard that my Harry Potter journal article still lives. The journal editor says to submit it with the quotations (that offend J.K. Rowling's literary agent). They'll review it and deal with legalities if there's interest in publishing it. So I'll spiff it up a little more and send it off. Hooray.

Infusions of strength and courage to all, JSC

Sunday, January 16, 2005 4:33 PM CST day 159

Lots of little accomplishments: took the bird (Lynnbird) to the airport, went out for breakfast, went to church, home for lunch, cleaned and did laundry, sewed and knitted a little, moved my computer back into Lynn's room. That kind of stuff. Nothing very exciting. It was wonderful to see more friends at church and join in singing and absorbing all the sights and sounds.

I'm starting to think more about work. I'll gradually get back to some meetings and workshops at the Science Museum in the next few weeks and hope to teach my first kids' class in March. I'm looking at some college teaching possibilities in the metro area. I may consider taking some writing classes at the Loft in Minneapolis. So we'll see what happens.

Til next time--be well! J

Saturday, January 15, 2005 7:38 PM CST day 158

Hello all, We three have just returned from a dinner for Tapestry Folk Dance Center members. It was so good to eat nourishing soups and desserts and see lots of friends. We couldn't stay to dance, but one of these weekends we'll be back!

Larry and Lynn did some car shopping this morning. It's a good thing to do on a very cold morning. Nothing that doesn't start is worth a second look!

I've been sewing and reading today and not accomplishing a whole lot. Another project was taking down my "100 day cards" from a string in the living room and taping them into a scrapbook. Such fun to re-read encouraging messages from so many friends!

Another first last night: we all went out to dinner at a restaurant at a regular time for the first time since August. Whoop, whoop.

Our friend Alice is sounding so much better this evening. It's a treasure.

Be well. Stay warm! JSC

Friday, January 14, 2005 7:32 PM CST day 157

It's a beautiful, clear, brittle-ly cold night with a sliver of moon. Our friend Alice has been in the hospital in Minneapolis this week and is battling blood clots and complications of pancreatic cancer. I can't be with her, but other friends and family are gathering around her. I hope that she won't be in pain and that she won't be alone. J

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 7:49 PM CST day 155

We've had a great family dinner with much hilarity. Lynn's now outdoors trying to find out why the kitchen exhaust hood is leaking water onto the stove. She just came back to say we're going to propane torch the roof!! By "we," I guess that means me too.

So . . . we came in after the torch caught way on fire and we threw it in the snow so it wouldn't explode and kill us all. [Illustrating the immortal principle of pivnert PV = nRT] While we were up on the roof (this is normal for an earth-sheltered house, don't worry), a car drove by very slowly. Maybe we looked like burglars trying to burn our way into someone's house!!@#^&It was EXCITING!!

Now we're going to make s'mores (on the stove, not with the torch). We'll have to ignore the leak because it's going to be way too cold to stick anything in the crack we found. But we can swim. At least Lynn can and Larry can float, and I can stand in the bathtub.

Lynn just heard that her paper was accepted for the BIG anthro meeting in Milwaukee in April. She's been getting a plane ticket and making hotel reservations and figuring out who to ask for financial support. Larry and I hope to drive over to hear her! Her grandparents got to her talk last year in Tampa, and now it's our turn to be extra proud.

Larry went to a specialist today and learned that he has a tendon problem in his foot. A MRI is to be scheduled to find out if it is just inflamed (put it in a cast for awhile, then build some better arch supports) or torn (will need surgery, then build some better arch supports). The goal is to get him back to dancing as soon as possible! It's great to have a doctor who understands what's important, isn't it? It would be ironic if I get to go back to dancing before he does!

Have a way happy day (from the hyper three) JSC

PS from Lynn: Mom forgot to explain WHY we were torching the roof: there were ice flows around the pipes going into the house, and we had to melt them so they wouldn't break things. Also, we couldn't see the cracks in the rubber gaskets (causing the leak) until we melted the ice. Anyway, it was really exciting!

Monday, January 10, 2005 6:17 PM CST Day 153

Another calm day on the healing road--I surprised my "swimming buddies" by having coffee with them on my way to the gym this morning. I'm still not swimming, but it was good to catch up on all their news. Then I had lunch with Diane at Augsburg and caught up on "kid stories." Her son Kyle and Lynn are two days apart in birthdays, and we shared lots of holidays when they were much younger. So now they're both off to grad school in the fall! How did it happen so fast?

Lynn's back from her trip to Iowa and sleeping. I suspect she and Elaine didn't sleep much Saturday or Sunday nights. I'm glad they could spend a little more time together. Elaine's choir (Nordic Choir at Luther College) is leaving soon on a tour of the west coast. Hope they'll miss the worst of the weather.

The quilt project is coming along well. I'll probably hit some snags sooner or later, but it's still lots of fun right now. I'm using a sheetrock square as a straightedge; fabric is much more forgiving than dry wall!

Better find some supper and see to the knitting tonight. Be well! Jane

Sunday, January 9, 2005 3:38 PM CST Day 152

From me to you on day 152: A little bit of snow is falling, which is pleasant after almost-freezing rain this morning. I found the windshield washer wasn't working on my way to church, which was not pleasant.

Yup, I did get back to Plymouth for the first time since August. It was pretty overwhelming to hear all that glorious singing and see so many friends. I didn't have the chance to say "no" to hugs, we'll just hope for no dire consequences. I'll have to say it felt a little scary (but wonderful) to be with so many people after such a long time "in isolation."

I'm sewing and knitting this afternoon, making noise and messes if I like because I'm alone! Lynn is in Iowa visiting a friend for a couple of days, and Larry is still in California. I did promise not to run TOO far amuck.

Warm thoughts to you all on a wintry day from Jane

Friday, January 7, 2005 6:35 PM CST Day 150

Today in the mail came two letters that bring me so much joy. My friend Stacy at the Museum wrote a note that she had donated blood and just got her one gallon pin. That's so awesome! Thank you, Stacy! You helped lots of people with that hour or so of your time.

Then an envelope from the Lakes and Plains Regoinal Council of Carpenters and Joiners, Local 1644--Larry will know that our friend Joyce was behind this one! Joyce organized a blood drive with her union and collected 36 units of blood! I am so honored by all of these dear folks, who happened to let me know of their kindness on the same day.

We know Joyce from our contradancing community, and she has been a Chore Angel for us several times in the last few months. Her mother has faught and beat cancer three times. She and Joyce certainly know the wild emotions of fear and hope that lurk with us every day.

I want to thank four dear friends for being dedicated platelet donors: Jim, Anne, Adele, and Tom. They have put up with hours of sitting with straight arms (no nose scratching!) to donate pure gold for people in need.

As it has turned out, I have not yet needed any blood products, but it's hard for me not to be able to continue to be a blood donor. I trust that some of these friends will make a long-standing habit of a donation that is absolutely priceless for those who need red cells, plasma, and platelets.

As for the rest of this amazing day, it started with a traffic jam on Barnes Avenue. We live quite a way off the beaten path, so bumper-to-bumper traffic including big trucks headed south on our county highway was a surprise! Lynn and I were going to the gym and were headed north, so we remarked on the oddity and thought for awhile it was a funeral procession going to a cemetery nearby. But semis?? They were entering Barnes Ave from a subdivision street about a mile north of us, a seemingly endless line! We soon heard on the radio that there was an accident on the US highway that had blocked traffic for several hours and was still being cleared. So we decided to follow our noses and soon had joined the line of cars creeping through an area of new houses. It was a great adventure, although it was caused by a fatal accident.

So Lynn and I had a good hour at the gym and later in the afternoon braved the Big Mall! She found a skirt AND the little black dress she was seeking. Thanks so much to grandparents for the gift card! We'll send you a picture soon. We didn't get lost, we bought some happy socks, and we had a Krispy Kreme each.

Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah. If you're still reading, take a break! I got some groceries while Lynn got her hair cut. She made the famous Veggie Yum for supper and dashed out to rent a movie for the evening. We watched TWO: Spellbound, a documentary about the 1999 National Spelling Bee, and Clueless, which she claims is research for her Jane Austen seminar coming next semester--a remake of Emma, would you believe?

A fine, fine, very fine day I would say. Our love and thanks to you all. JSC

Thursday, January 6, 2005 4:15 PM CST Day 149

Things are fine on day 149. And I imagine they'll be nifty tomorrow.

I've enjoyed a contented day--went in to Plymouth Church for the first time since August for a small service planned for folks who don't get out for Sunday gatherings. It was so good to see dear friends Karen, Jeff and Anne and several others. Anne and I enjoyed lunch together afterwards.

I did a little sewing this afternoon and am about to bike for a bit. Lynn's having coffee with Kathy Cork, her favorite Science Museum teacher who first got her excited about fossils at age 8 or 9. I remember we took a Fossils for Families class, starting with a couple of hours in class learning to cast something in plaster and seeing pictures of several kinds of fossils. I was sure I'd never be able to find any. . . they all looked like gray lumps! But when we got out to the brickyards within 10 minutes, all my pockets and hands were full, and I was wishing I had a bucket! I know Lynn enjoyed herself too, although fossil hominins are her passion now rather than older sea creatures like brachiopods and crinoids (they look like fossilized Cheerios).

Hooray for the last little bit of sunshine today. The days really are longer than a couple of weeks ago! Cheers, Jane

Wednesday, January 5, 2005 7:17 PM CST day 148

Feeling just great on 148. Lynn and I have just returned from seeing "The Incredibles" at a theater in Eagan. It's a soap about super heroes, but the characters are really endearing and well sketched. It has a lot of explosions and falling debris, but somehow the good guys all survive and the bad guy gets what's coming to him. Lynn and I also had a good hour of work at the gym, although she's so far ahead of me it isn't funny! For a first day back since August, I felt glad to use a treadmill and a stair-stepper and stretch a bunch.

Got a little more done on the quilt, although we haven't taken any pictures of it yet. Tomorrow.

Cold dry day--some threat of snow tonight, but we probably won't get the 8 feet that Lynn is pleading for. She wants to show the rest of the country that it wouldn't slow us down any! Ooof. Our best wishes to all, JSC

Tuesday, January 4, 2005 5:16 PM CST day 147

Hello all, Just a quick update: at the clinic today, all my blood tests looked good. I'm back into the normal range on white cells and almost there with reds. My magnesium level is high enough that I can cut back to one MgO pill a day. What will I do with all that free time?? Dr. Tomblyn thought she could see some GVH-like changes in my mouth tissue, but it's not anything I've noticed yet. Nothing we need to treat or even biopsy.

She said YES to going to the gym when it's not crowded and going to church if I don't sit in a bunch of sniffling people. It's also OK for Lynn to be away for a couple of nights this weekend (leaving me alone). She said NO to applying for a part-time teaching job that would start in a couple of weeks and NO to getting my teeth cleaned just yet. I'm mentally and physically ready to be teaching again, but my immune system isn't ready yet.

So I get a reward of a week off and will return for tests in two weeks. They're working on scheduling my 6-month biopsy a couple of weeks early (last week in January), so we'll see what's happened since Patrona has been in charge.

I continue to feel well and am looking for more "safe" things to do. Knitting and sewing are great winter occupations, and I have lots to read right now. Lynn and I are going to a movie tomorrow. I'm trying to be productive!

Best early year greetings to you. Be well! JSC

Monday, January 3, 2005 6:52 PM CST Day 146

Firsts today: Larry is off to California for a week to acquire more editing work from his publisher. One of his projects that would have been almost full-time has been postponed, so it would help to find new things. Lynn went to the gym in South St. Paul--hooray--and loaded up at the library on "unnecessary reading." She says she has plenty of necessary reading to do before the semester starts, but it's great to have a pile of Elizabeth Peters mysteries to savor!

I stayed indoors for some biking. It's very distracting to have a jigsaw puzzle in the same room as my bike--I've done all the easy parts of a picture of a pile of Oreos and a big glass of milk. Now it's mostly murky brown with very little detail.

I'm really enjoying getting going piecing together a new quilt. We'll take some pictures tomorrow or the next day. I started it a couple of years ago with inspiration from a book called "Pieces" by Elizabeth Grosnickle Hines. It's a poem for each month of the year with a miniature quilt on the theme. I'm taking a summer design and enlarging it for a queensized quilt. I should consult with Debbie, our neighborhood quilting queen, before I get too far along. "You'll wish you had" or "hadn't" could be a problem!

Back to the clinic tomorrow for ordinary blood tests, if anything is ordinary in this life. I'll see if Dr. T will let me get back to the gym when it isn't crowded, although I am enjoying my exercise time at home more than I expected. Still miss swimming, dancing, etc. More seed catalogs came today--time to dream about 2005's garden! Lots of hugs to all, JSC

Sunday, January 2, 2005 12:15 PM CST Day 145

Those other two stay up all night and write to you at such odd times! Actually, I've stayed up later than usual the last couple of evenings to read and eat fudge and enjoy those other two.

It's a brilliantly sunny morning after that "noisy snow" (little sleet balls that made a great racket on the windows) yesterday. Larry and Lynn are at church, and the last load of laundry is out of the dryer. I HOPE I've finally figured out enough about chiggers to know that washing clothes in HOT water is the trick to really getting rid of them. It seems so wasteful, but if it bugs those bugs, it's worth it. I'm tired of itching!

It's time to look back at 2004 and count up some milestones. I was going to figure out how many pills I've swallowed, but that's just too daunting. So I'll note that on 173 days in 2004 I DIDN'T take any prescribed medications. I spent 19 days in the hospital, had 41 clinic appointments and 5 bone marrow biopsies. That makes 65 days during which some blood tests occurred.

Larry and I went dancing 30 times. Then he went alone a bunch more times until his ankle prevented the pleasure lately. I taught 17 kids' classes (including a great birthday party for 11 11-year-old boys) between January and May and taught 15 weeks at St. Kate's. I did some consulting for a community science consortium and for a public TV outreach program. I wrote about 25 lessons for a new high school chemistry book before "retiring" in July.

I'm anxious to get back to some teaching soon and hope I can convince Dr. Tomblyn that I'm ready sooner than April and May (when I have some weekend classes scheduled already). At least, I'll get back to work on a "marketing" website for my free-lance business. I still have a lot of genealogy work to do (also websites), knitting, and The Quilt. After a bite to eat, I'm going to start some of its machine-assembling that I planned out over the last couple of days. Although my sewing room is fabulous, it can't beat this wonderful sunshine that is so cheering today. Wonder if I can rig up some kind of prism to shine sunlight into that room??

With many thanks for your continuing love and care, JSC

Sunday, January 2, 2005 0:13 AM CST

Quick update from Lynn. Today (Saturday), I think all three of us stayed inside all day and did not stir, even for walks. The weather is...well...frightfully messy, to say the least. 3 inches of freezing rain and snow on top of that expected by morning. We'll see if Dad and I make it out to attempt the drive in to church tomorrow! Daddy and I fixed my computer (finally, I hope), we listened to a Prairie Home Companion (essential Saturday evening entertainmnet), and Mom and Dad watched the Three Stooges or Abott and Costello or some other good comical movie this evening. It was great to hear them laughing hysterically in the living room, we always like laughter!

Mom is still feeling fine without her cyclosporin. Clinic visit Tuesday should give us some counts to see if her neutrophils are doing their thing. Her next bone marrow biopsy will be sometime this month to test if any traces of leukemia still remain. Without any sign of GVH, it'll be interesting to see if she shows any GVL, but we can sure hope so. If this post repeats information we've explained before, please forgive me! Boring is always good in the cancer world, but it sure doesn't give me much to say here! Except that we love you all, and we're sending our best wishes for a healthy and happy new year!

Saturday, January 1, 2005 0:30 AM CST

It�s very tempting to say, in wishing you a happy new year, that we hope 2005 is better than 2004. No more cancer, no more drugs, no more transplants, no more hospital stays. . . . And indeed, we do hope so.

But we also have to acknowledge that 2004 has brought its share of blessings. As we�ve been pushed toward our limits, we�ve come to know those limits, and thus ourselves, more fully. We�ve learned better the needs of care receivers and givers, so that we can help others more effectively.

And, most importantly, we�ve come to appreciate the sheer goodness of individuals acting in community to help one another. That means you. You, the neighbors who pitched in with meals and driving and work around the house and yard. You, the family who kept calling. You, the friends who helped in so many ways, including getting me to talk. And yes, you the lurkers at this site, whose presence we feel even if you don�t sign in.

Here�s a toast (buttered, with Janie�s homemade jelly, and with gobs of love and gratitude and hope) for all of you--for all of us--as we open ourselves to the struggles and blessings of 2005.

Love,
larry

Thursday, December 30, 2004 2:36 PM CST Day 142

What a day to stay inside! This morning's freezing rain, which made the driveway a skating rink, has turned to ordinary rain and eliminated what little snow we had. Lynn and Larry are napping, and I'm tempted!

Nothing much going on: I'm working on a couple of sewing projects and getting re-started on a quilt that I put away a year ago for lack of time. I've laid some pieces out on the dining table, but I'd better pick them up soon!

I'm enjoying having a week off from clinic visits. We'll check on everything next Tuesday and see what's measurable. It's grand to be swallowing fewer pills. It probably saves me two or three minutes a week!

We had sad news this morning that one of my dogs-in-law died. Lisa and Ron's boxer Cleo went on to other pastures this morning. Their mastiff Mo will miss his companion and will have to figure out how to deal with a new human in the house in March. She was a dear dog, and we all will miss her.

Our best to you all, JSC

4:30 Just wait awhile, and the weather will change! There's blue sky between the clouds and a fiery sunset. Was quite warm enough for a walk around the block. Felt like winter in Alabama!

Thursday, December 30, 2004 0:00 AM CST

Janie had a pretty good day today, though we both were sorry to see Ron and Lisa leave. J. went with Ron to get a Big Box from UPS, and they packed it up in our living room. Guess R&L shipped it on their way to return the rental car and get over to the airport.

Otherwise, J. took a walk and stated a strong desire to restart her quilt project. Still no signs of GVH. Today is her first full day completely off of Cyclosporin.

After R&L got back home in NJ, Ron initiated a video chat with me. It was much more impressive than the tests we did earlier in the week when we could hear each others� voices through the wall. (I�m assuming that by the time my folks read this they will know of his gift of web cams for all of us. The gift has something to do with the anticipated new baby, though Lisa has banned it from the delivery room.)

Lynn took much of this afternoon to say goodbye to Elaine but was home for dinner. Her computer has been sent off for what seems to be an annual week�s vacation in Texas. Well, its previous trip was only four months ago, but the new disk drive they installed then seems to be the source of the problems she�s been having. We're past the 90-day warranty period, but they�re being nice about it. The stress was so great that Lynn dropped off to sleep in the kiva early this evening and is only just now shuffling toward her bed.

I spent more of today than usual with my foot elevatedl. I even took an extra nap just to accomplish that! The foot/ankle was in its brace all day, and I again skipped the walk. (No, I wasn�t skipping.) It feels better tonight than it did last night. In between rests (during which I did some editing work), I finished anchoring and loading up the bookcase Lynn and I bought last night. It looks good and much safer than its predecessor, and the study is usable again. The rest of the house is pretty much back to normal as well, so you can come visit without being too disgusted!

Thus we continue on, each day grateful to our donor and all of you for your love and support.

Love,
larry

Tuesday, December 28, 2004 8:32 PM CST day 140

Just a quick note tonight. We've all been in and out today. Larry and Lynn are out tonight to get Lynn's computer fixed and to buy a bookcase to replace one that nearly came to pieces in his study this evening. Larry visited with his doctor to find that his ankle is sprained and painful but not broken. He has a brace for the ankle and will try to stay off of it for a bit. I spent the day with Lisa and Ron finding interesting ceramic objects in Minneapolis and two private studios in rural Chisago County.

Nothing too exciting other than THE LAST of the Cyclosporin today! Will hope to be through with other drugs within a couple of months!

Our best to you all! JSC

Monday, December 27, 2004 10:58 PM CST

Janie�s had a day of not feeling so well. Whenever that happens on Monday or Tuesday, we blame it on the high dose of Bactrim, which she takes only those days. And if it happens Saturday or Sunday, we say she�s getting low on Bactrim. You can see the limitations of this very unscientific theory.

My brother Ron and his wife Lisa had intended to celebrate their anniversary by driving out today to putter around the state visiting potters. But instead, I suppose partly because Lisa�s 6 months pregnant, they decided to make day trips from their motel down the road. It was good to see them before and after they wandered out to a potter�s in Stillwater today.

Lynn spent last night and all of today at Elaine�s house. It was great that Elaine joined all of us for dinner tonight, before she and Lynn headed out again for the evening. Lynn said she�d sleep at home tonight. Wonder if the emphasis is on sleep! Or maybe she just wants to see if her computer is still working after all the repair work I�ve done today. It isn�t; another trip to the shop will have to be on tomorrow�s agenda. Our worry about sick computers in this household is disconcertingly similar to our concern for sick kids.

My foot and ankle are somewhat worse today, so I guess I�ll call the clinic in the morning. This seems to be another of those weeks when lots of stuff is needing to be fixed. Didn�t we have another of those weeks recently?

As always, awareness of your support and love keep us going.

Love,
larry

Sunday, December 26, 2004 5:27 PM CST

Quick Sunday update: we had friends Jan, Brian and Franz over for curry lunch. It was much enjoyed by all but Lynn, who was brave, but whose taste buds couldn't quite handle the spice. We took a step closer to revealing the big Christmas present surprise here. We can't yet, because Laura and Earle read this page, and we can't ruin their surprise! Once we send off their box, we'll let you all know about all the fun we've been having!

Love to you all,
Janie, Larry and Lynn

Saturday, December 25, 2004 10:12 PM CST

Hello and Merry Christmas from the Copeses! You lucky folks get an update from Lynn today, as Mom's asleep, and Dad's busy doing whatever he does when two of the four computers in the house decide to simultaneously cause problems. We hope you had a joyous day with family and friends and loved ones and chocolate today as we did!

It was odd sitting down to open presents without my grandparents�they were definitely missed! We talked with them on the phone later and they sounded warm and happy in Florida, however! Everyone was excited about the iSights that Ronnie and Lisa presented to each household. We tested out the videochatting capacities, which while fun, was oddly correlated with my computer refusing to turn on, and Dad's computer refusing to communicate with the printer. SO, it's a trip to the Mall of America tomorrow, which houses the closest Mac store to us. It's sure to be an exciting trip...the biggest mall in the country (world still?) the day after Christmas...mmmmm...

This yet-to-be-named baby of Ronnie and Lisa's definitely made out with the majority of presents! I've been replaced as the youngest! Many of my favorite kids books will be enjoyed again, and that makes me very happy! Look for pictures of the giant purple hippopotamus pillow coming soon to a picture page near you! We spent a good deal of the afternoon proposing and rejecting baby names. We'll let you know if anything definite is decided!

Mom continues to feel well. Two or three days of Cyclosporin left, and then she's hopefully done with it forever! Her doctor trusts that she'll continue to avoid GVHD enough that she gets this week off from a clinic visit. While it's hard to believe that her immune system is doing battle with her leukemia without any visible signs, we can sure hope that it's happening! Your thoughts and prayers are helping every day, and we're all so appreciative! Hugs all around tonight, and lots of love for you all!

Lynn

Friday, December 24, 2004 10:39 PM CST

Janie picked up Lynn at the airport in mid-afternoon (no, she didn�t go into that crowd!), and my brother Ron and his wife Lisa (and little one still in original container) came in early this evening. So things have been hopping. It�s been so great to see them all! Now that everyone has disappeared (except for Lynn, who is lurking and rapping�er, wrapping), I�ll write a few words.

Not that I have much to say in the way of an update. Janie continues to do well, on her last few days of Cyclosporin. We�re hoping that her stronger new immune system has been happily gobbling up leukemia cells. It seems to be ignoring her organs. Her spirits have been fine, and she�s especially glad to have visitors. She and I are both disappointed that my parents decided they couldn�t make the trip this year, but of course we share their health concerns.

I�ve been very busy this week with a project that wouldn�t stop, but it left my desk this morning. I spent the rest of the day finishing the house cleaning (well, I didn�t get to the frig) and working on the Christmas gifts I�ve been making. (No, I�m not telling. You�ll just have to be patient!) (I can really finish the last one when Lynn stops lurking.) I didn�t actually finish installing the new lamp in the liviing room until the troops were gathered there after supper. I can�t say I�ve ever had such an audience before when I�ve been attaching a lamp to a ceiling! Fortunately nobody took pictures.

And even today, when everyone�s so busy, some of you took the time to call or send email, and the cards kept coming. Thank you so much for staying with us through this journey.

Of course, special thanks go to Janie�s donor and to those who have been there for us so much: my parents, Lynn, and Joan. And there�s no telling what we would have done without Mary Rose�s organizing neighbors and friends to help us out this fall.

To all of you, we send our love and our wishes for a meaningful holiday.

Love,
larry

Thursday, December 23, 2004 5:13 PM CST Day 135

There's just a hint of pink and blue in the west half an hour after sunset on this cold night. Better shut the shutters, but that last look is a treasure.

Other little treats today:
* I read part of a seed catalog over breakfast. The garden season does begin for us in December, when the catalogs start to come. I wonder what this next season will bring. Such cold, nearly snowless weather so far will make this a "zone 3" winter, even though it stayed warm long into the fall.

* Enjoyed freshly baked cookies, cream in my coffee, and a Clementine today.

* A spin on my bike warmed me up even though we aren't lighting a fire. The big downtown Minneapolis parade was cancelled because windchill will be close to -25 tonight.

* Wrapping presents was such fun--we have contests to see how many times we can reuse wrapping paper. Some of those pieces have a LONG history.

* Larry and I finished reading a library mystery to each other and fortunately found an old Agatha Christie that neither of us can remember reading. Failing memories have their place!

* e-mail and cards from so many family members and friends remind us of your lives and the intersections with ours.

Sadly, tonight we are not picking up Larry's parents at the airport. Poor health since a car accident in November has Laura not at her best, and a dizzy spell on Tuesday made the trip seem just too much. We know they'll be warm and share good food and good friends in Sarasota, but it's hard to be apart. We'll work extra hard to have a reunion at Lynn's graduation in May, when we all should be feeling better.

Lynn, Ron, and Lisa arrive tomorrow. Hooray, hooray! Just a few more little things to do before then . . . our love to you all, JSC

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 5:29 PM CST Day 133

Hooray! Only 7 more days of Cyclosporin! Just 25 mg a day now til next Tuesday. AND I get a week off from clinic visits. All the measurable quantities were pretty good today. Definitely more lymphocytes than last week--that's because Cyclosporin selectively inhibits them, and I'm taking less. Thankfully, my liver enzyme numbers still look good. I have a tiny patch of rough skin that MIGHT be GVH, but it might not be.

I'm so glad that my doctor, Marcie Tomblyn, treats my heart as well as my disease. She keeps at me to tell her when I'm discouraged and always has encouragement and honest information. She's a treasure!

This afternoon I watched the colors change in the west on this shortest day and longest night. We don't have any west-facing windows, but in the winter the sun rises and sets in a tighter arc, so at least I could see the bands of colors shifting as it got darker. There's a little dusting of snow on top of yesterday's sleet. No particular hazard, and it brightens things up considerably.

Larry is out doing errands, and maybe he'll add a note later. We continue to thank everyone for good wishes, messages, vibes, and extra help whether we asked for it or not. You deserve more than air hugs for all your kindnesses! Soon, soon! Be well, JSC

Monday, December 20, 2004 1:53 PM CST Day 132

I just waved good-bye to our little Prius, as it rolled up the driveway with a tow truck. On Friday, it gave us some warning messages and the gas engine shut off almost immediately after it started. This morning I learned from our mechanic that there was a recall on Prius batteries some weeks ago, and the whole repair will be covered. We're sure we didn't get a notice about it, but perhaps it did slip through the cracks. It didn't seem safe to drive to the repair place not knowing if the battery would completely fail, so the mechanic suggested their favorite towing company. It should be finished later in the week (they have the repair parts), and we could manage without it if needed.

I'm still sewing away at some secret projects, and Larry is working frantically against a couple of deadlines this week.

We got up this morning to the noise of sleet hitting the windows. Glad we weren't in the commuter pile-ups! Lynn reports that the cold in NY is refreshing (to her). It may be lots warmer by the weekend here. Right now it's 22 degrees with some wind. So that's 72 degrees above 50 below! Very gray and brown outside right now.

Will we go out walking???? Stay tuned. JSC

4:20 I'm back from a walk, but Larry stayed in to favor a sore ankle. It's pretty slippery but not particularly cold out. That down jacket certainly helps. I know it's Lynn's, but every now and then I snitch it.

Saturday, December 18, 2004 8:48 PM CST Day 130

OK, I'm back. I'm just trying to break out of routines that are weighing me down. So I took the blue pill LAST instead of FIRST tonight.

Today I sewed and knitted a good bit of the day and didn't go outside. Yesterday's walk around the block was very cheering, but today was windy and much colder. Must be about time for winter to come, but the weather has continued in its changable ways and hasn't settled into a pattern yet. Lots of noisy geese flying south yesterday--I'd think it would take more energy to talk so much, but maybe it was a good joke they were sharing.

Know that I am so grateful for all of you who are following our story and who send us energy and love and care. It just wouldn't be possible to face the uncertainty without you. Thanks and ever thanks, JSC

Friday, December 17, 2004 10:27 PM CST

So I come home from a concert and sit down at the computer to see what Janie posted while she was home alone this evening with nothing else to do. And lo and behold! Her posting is almost exactly�word for word�what I posted last night! Oh, it wasn�t quite so clever as I remember, nor so literary, but it was a noble effort. Unfortunately, you probably don�t want to read it again, so I�ll make up something new.

The concert was �A Mexican Baroque Christmas� by the Rose Ensemble. This is an unusual group of 12 singers, 7 men and 5 women. (One of the men sings alto.) One of the singers is the director, or vice versa. I love the intimacy of that kind of singing, wonderful voices mostly a capella. The music was really as advertised, and the concert was a lot of fun. Janie volunteered me to go with Jan and Brian, who have gotten to know members of the group. One of the altos is a soloist at our church. Another is Janie�s and Brian�s masseuse. Too bad Janie couldn�t come along. Someday. . . .

Should I tell the story about the smell, Jan? Can you stop me? Brian was driving to the concert, so Jan and I disembarked from their vehicle on the curb side. �Oh, what are these? Crabapples?� she asked, reaching down in the dark. I picked one up as well. It was too squishy for a crab apple. She smelled hers. �Oh, Gingko. We had these in our yard when we were growing up. That smell takes me right back to my childhood.� When we got into the church and seated, Brian complained about the smell. We�d both not only handled the fruit but stepped in it. Fortunately, there was time for a restroom scrubdown before the concert started. I'm sorry to realize that Jan's childhood was so rotten.

They�re saying it will get cold here at last--below 0 tomorrow night. (Don't worry, Mother; we'll turn the heat on inside while you're here.) The only problem with not having snow at this point is that the frost will go pretty deep. That�s why the tops of footings in these parts have to be at least 36 inches down. Many of us have dug our share of 42-inch holes.

But you didn�t tune in to read my blather, did you? You�re here to ask, How�s Janie? Well, the chiggers are still being a nuisance. Otherwise, there are no rashes, no pains, no signs of GVH, and we're 3 days into her last week on Cyclosporin. She seemed to enjoy cooking dinner for the four of us tonight, and her spirits were certainly lifted by having people here other than me. She can hardly wait for other family members to start arriving Thursday! I need deluding. I mean, diluting; I'm already deluded.

Your kind notes and calls remind her that there is indeed a world of people out there, so many of whom are so loving. Thank you.

Love,
larry

Thursday, December 16, 2004 11:00 PM CST

I believe Janie has neglected to mention here her latest visitors. The chiggers are back! She swears she�s washed all her clothes several times since the earlier attack. She�s now taken to leaving her boots outside at night to freeze, in case the buggers have taken up residence in them. Fortunately the number of bites isn�t so large as before.

Perhaps this is just one thing, like the lack of snow on the ground, that she's embarrassed to mention. Reputations may suffer.

Wasn�t it great to have another minute of sun at the end of today? Yes, sunsets are getting later now. Sunrises are also still getting later, as they will into January, but in just five days the total length of daylight will start increasing. Here in the Twin Cities we�ll bottom out at 8 hrs 46 minutes, according to today�s newspaper. Neither Janie nor I has a good explanation for why the sunrises and sunsets act differently. Do you?

It�s good to be able to talk about that kind of stuff over the dinner table instead of the side effects of vFend. Speaking of drugs, we�re two days into the last week of the Cyclospsorin (the immuno-suppressant) taper, so Janie may have no suppression in five days! (Repressions are a different matter.) There�s no sign of GVH. If all goes well with this taper, they can start cutting down her dosage of other meds. She�ll sure miss those entertaining flashing lights at night! We just hope that the stronger immune system is weeding out those leukemia cells. Usually some GVH accompanies GVL.

As always, we�re so grateful for your support. We couldn�t be on this journey without you! And we have special gratitude for the donor who sacrificed that Janie might find a cure.

Love,
larry

Wednesday, December 15, 2004 5:55 PM CST day 127

Hello all, Not much drama around Zoidburrow. We're not complaining! I went to the grocery store this morning, had a looooong walk with Larry this afternoon, talked with several friends, knitted some, and generally lolled around. Finished a bit more living room decorating.

Have been getting very restless with routine, so I made a grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast and skipped biking today. I can't skip taking my meds, but at least there are fewer pills to swallow now.

Larry has been working on editing chapters of a statistics book for a friend from Augsburg and getting ready for family to arrive next week. We're looking forward to Larry's parents (from Sarasota) and brother and sister-in-law (from northern NJ) and LYNN all coming next Thursday and Friday. I'm so glad they're coming to our house--makes it much less crazy for us!

Best winter wishes to you all, JSC

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 8:37 PM CST day 126

Just a few new tricks on day 126: clinic news is good. Counts and chemistry look pretty good. Since I'm taking less cyclosporin, I can cut down on magnesium oxide tablets too. The cyclosporin affects how my kidneys process minerals--more cyclosporin means I lose more magnesium, and I've been taking 2000 mg a day since getting home from the hospital. So we'll take the next step down in cyclosporin to 25 mg twice a day. And back to the clinic next Tuesday.

It's clear tonight, but I just don't have the energy to go out to look for meteors. Sorry, Barb. Hope you'll see lots.

Did a little Christmas decorating today. Our little tree looks wonderful. We'll try another picture with better lighting. Best to all! Be well, JSC

Monday, December 13, 2004 10:17 AM CST day 125

We've got SUNSHINE!!! Whoop! Whoop!

It's been a long dark spell here.

Silly, it's Bowling ALLEY Wacks, not bowling BALL wacks! And they really do have it in metal cans about the size of a bowling alley wax can. At Ace Hardware in West St. Paul. Really.

Jan and Brian--I thought WE told YOU about Jerebek's! It's a favorite of ours.

This afternoon Larry and I did some investment rearrangements with our financial advisor Char, She's been a friend and supporter for a long time. We had some tea on the way home.

I thought I needed a nap when we got home but stayed awake and read instead. Even managed a few bike miles before dinner. Not much else exciting going on. Clinic visit tomorrow. JSC

Sunday, December 12, 2004 11:50 PM CST

Guess it�s my turn to entertain the dedicated readers.

Janie is more than half way through this 3-week taper off the Cyclosporin immuno-suppressant, as we try to bring up her new immune system to full strength to kill off the last of the leukemia cells. So far there�s no sign that the immune system is attacking her own organs, which is the risk of such a fast taper. Mostly that seems like good news, though it�s also true that some graft-vs-host disease usually accompanies the graft-vs-leukemia battle. We�re hoping we have a case of GVL without GVH, as they say in the trade. More excitement may happen with the bigger steps percentagewise, which will come this next week (when we cut out 50% of the dose) and the next (with a 100% decrease, to 0). Stay tuned.

We�re both looking forward to having family here in less than two weeks. Janie is getting pretty bored with the scenery, even when it includes me. Can you imagine?

There are times it doesn�t include even me. I went dancing last night and to Plymouth this morning. As always, it was uplifting to be reminded of the support of so many friends.

Forgive me, Lynn, but I must tell the story again. Janie said this afternoon, �Did you know that the hardware store I visited yesterday sells bowling ball wacks?� Now bowling--alone or otherwise--has not been a big part of my life, so I had to think. I knew that (ideally) the ball whacks the pins; can you package up those whacks and sell them? Or did she mean racks, such as those that hold the pins? Every idea I had seemed wacky, so I had to ask: �What�s a wack?� You, dear reader, are probably so far ahead of me that you�re thinking I am really, really dumb. It was funny at the time, though. (And if the light hasn�t dawned on you yet, thank you for helping me feel better. Janie�s reply, which led to my aha!, was, �No, silly. Bowling ball wacks!� Just say it to yourself and forget my spelling.)

Some of my friends know that recently I�ve been back to thinking about how, when we share our stories--telling them or creating them together--we�re on holy ground. Some of said friends might say I�m stuck on the theme. They might eagerly point to the above story as a counterexample. How holy can bowling be? Your opinions about this question are welcome, at the risk of prolonging my obsession.

The bleakness of our barren and gray Minnesota landscape is much relieved by your love and encouragement. Thank you.

Love,
larry

Saturday, December 11, 2004 9:44 PM CST day 123

Whee, it's 123. Not a lot going on at Zoidburrow. I braved a few (not very crowded) stores this morning and went to the library. Read and knitted this afternoon. Biked a few miles, sewed a bit, enjoyed supper with Larry. Read some more--Brian, "Praying for Sheetrock" is the BEST! I didn't think I'd get into it so deeply or quickly. Thank you for the loan.

Thanks ever and ever again for your greetings and good wishes. You sustain us with your love, JSC

How was dancing, Larrry?

Friday, December 10, 2004 8:56 PM CST Day 122

Hello all, What a pleasant day! I enjoyed tea with Greg S. in St. Paul, did a little shopping, and had a fine walk and conversation with Mary Rose at home. Found a perfect set of tiny lights for our tiny holiday tree--we'll try to get a picture for the website before too long.

Had a little time to sew this late afternoon and finally solved the current Anne Perry mystery Larry and I have been reading aloud.

On a disappointing note, J.K. Rowling's literary agent has denied me permission to use any Harry Potter quotes in my journal article. Their definition of "educational use" is very narrow. I have a couple of other strategies, but they don't have the charm of my original idea. Pooh.

We journey on. Be well! JSC

Friday, December 10, 2004 0:39 AM CST

Janie said that I gave too little attention to our momentous decision to buy a non-real Christmas tree, but apparently her intended elaboration is still gestating. Stay tuned.

We�re both less stressed today about this Cyclosporin taper than we have been. I think it�s due to the fact that there have been no physical effects, and we�re almost halfway through the three-week process. Or maybe it�s because I got some good sleep last night; thank you, Karen, for your somniferous words in the guestbook.

Today Janie walked (warm--in the 40s--and foggy) and biked, in between work on some gifts. I finished up one professional project and ran some errands and did some work around the house. Nothing to write home about, but for some reason I feel compelled to put it here for the world to see. Hi, world!

Love,
larry

Wednesday, December 8, 2004 11:52 PM CST

It was a busy day for Janie. She was out for several hours mid-day for a massage and shopping. She assures me that only one store was crowded and she left immediately. She�s learning what worries me me, at least.

Along the way she picked up a really cool Christmas tree to replace the live one we�ve used for years�which we don�t want in the house in this "no plants" time and which, in fact, I should have dumped last summer because it is so scrawny. The new tree is fairly small and is all metal. (I just realized that it has had mold in the past. Something else to worry about?) Janie has put some candles on it in tin holders she thinks date back 100 years. The mix of ingredients so far is quite striking.

This morning I had my own interaction with the medical community�an MRI to see if a pinched nerve is the cause of intermittent tingling in my arm. As many of you probably know, lying in the tube with strange noises is a surreal experience anyway. My unreality started before that, though. The guy who came to fetch me from the waiting room led me down a couple of hallways and then through a door--and right out of the building. We went over to a large trailer, to which we were raised on a platform. A large door slid open in the side of the ship. As the door closed silently behind me, I wondered if I�d ever see this planet again. As I left, they gave me a set of films. The pictures show that, contrary to rumors, I am not spineless, and I do have a brain. I will not post those films at this site without a large demand!

Otherwise, the day was pretty normal, with some work here and there and some walking and some biking and some eating and some reading. I haven�t slept well for several nights�who, me, stressed?�so perhaps tonight�s the night. I�d better get to it.

Thanks to all of you who have phoned and written and left messages at the web site. Some days those messages have been all that have kept us going! We feel enveloped by your care.

Love,
larry

Tuesday, December 7, 2004 7:09 PM CST Day 119

Thanks to Steve G. for a little carpentry work AND special delivery, the Hanukkah lights could be lit this evening. I was in town and could have picked them up to save you the trip. Thanks again!

Thanks also for recent phone calls and messages. I'm really working hard to stay positive, and every human contact helps, believe me.

I'm weary today. There's just not a "day off" in this fight. But I'm enjoying scurrying around, starting Christmas presents, and especially having time to read books I'm giving as presents! Usually I'm up too many late nights close to Christmas trying to read the last chapters.

Clinic visit was good. Numbers are stable. We'll lower the Cyclosporin another step tonight to 50 mg twice a day for the next week. Haven't noticed any graft-vs-host problems. My analogy about immune suppression: that the drug puts little masks on my lymphocytes so they can't recognize what to attack is actually pretty accurate. So with less drug, more brave, ferocious (that CAN'T be spelled right) Patrona cells will take off after the tenacious (is THAT right?), pesky leukemia cells. Good in theory!

Looking forward to a massage tomorrow to ease a sore shoulder. I've been scrunched up in odd postures reading, writing, and cutting out fabric, and I just can't stretch out that kink. Best to you all, JSC

Monday, December 6, 2004 1:48 PM CST Day 118

I'm thinking about the gift of time today. Actually I thought about it yesterday but I ended up crying a lot and complaining about all the things I can't do right now.

This fall I've had time to be outdoors nearly every day to sit, read, watch the clouds, and build up my walking strength. I've biked (albeit in place) more in the last three months than I have in the last couple of years. I've finished a writing task that's dear to my heart but kept being pushed out of the way for lack of time. Yesterday I made cookies for Lynn and froze the rest of the cooky dough for Christmas visitors. Today I had time to make a blankie for the new munchkin Ron and Lisa are incubating.

I've read and reread favorite books. There's certainly been plenty of time to sleep. There's no way to buy time; it's such a precious gift.

Be well! Jane

Monday, December 6, 2004 0:21 AM CST

Oh, my. My turn again. Can I handle the fame? What do I do with the royalties?

Thanks to all who were so encouraging at church this morning. I needed that.

Janie did too, and she was pretty unhappy this afternoon when she thought about it. If this fast taper works, though, she may be back sooner than anticipated. The key word is �hope.�

I forgot to mention in my last journal that Janie spent a lot of yesterday making dough--cookie dough, that is. This morning she baked. Our Hot Date this afternoon was to the airport post office (open all the time) to mail a package of cookies to Lynn. I did some quality testing and approved them for distribution.

Thanks to all of you for your support, and special thanks to Patrona, in case she ever reads this.

Love,
larry

Sunday, December 5, 2004 0:33 AM CST

So here�s Saturday�s journal, from Larry on Sunday morning, officially at least.

Janie spent today running loads of laundry, reading, sewing, exercising. She�s still feeling well, fortunately, and has no signs of GVHD. We want a little GVHD, as Patrona�s cells attack the remaining leukemia cells, but not too much. The next couple of weeks are crucial in that regard. If the taper goes as Marcie is planning, Janie will be off of Cyclosporin on the 21st, and spend Christmas was a full immune system. But there are many possible hitches in that plan. Stay tuned.

I spent the day running around, doing diddly stuff, trying to make progress toward fixing the stuff that broke this past week. And I think we moved ahead on all fronts. I just need to be patient. I�m not getting motivated to do Christmas shopping and decorating, so some of that might just not happen, at least so intensely as usual.

Dancing has been good recently--twice this week, because it was the first week of the month. Thanks to the support group there, to the rest of you who have checked in, and to long talks with a couple of you who are very special, I feel more upbeat tonight than I did earlier in the week. Thank you.

Love,
larry

Friday, December 3, 2004 3:07 PM CST Day 115

I've just come in from a walk around our "bigger" block. Started out sunny and windless, but very suddenly clouds rolled in. It's a little warmer than yesterday, so I needed fewer layers of clothes. My aim is to unzip my coat as I get close to the driveway and cool off a little outdoors.

Hooray! I finished as much of my Harry Potter opus as I'm going to do and sent it to five readers for comments. I'm waiting to hear from J.K. Rowling's agent for permission to use brief quotations from the books. Hope to have it off to the Journal of Chemical Education before Christmas. I've been trying to get this article done for several years and had to put it away several times because of other work. It was wonderful to pull out the folders in October and get back to it. Then of course the last little details took FOREVER!

Had lunch with Lisa, whose chemo appointment was delayed until next week, so she could enjoy a week of good energy and wellness. St. Martin's Table on Riverside in Minneapolis is a great meeting place if you get there early. Was so nourishing to laugh and tell stories!

Not much else exciting around here. Hope you're cozy at your huts, burrows, and caverns. Love from J

Thursday, December 2, 2004 6:40 PM CST day114

Ah, simple pleasures: just about finishing this Harry Potter journal article, a lovely snow shower, turning silver pennies to gold, a brisk walk around the block, a mint hot chocolate at Caribou, a warm shower indoors, Larry fixed the greenhouse faucet and the same method should fix the outdoor one, baked potatoes with chili for supper, digging into another good book.

Larry's off dancing tonight, so perhaps he'll add a word or two later.

Best sleeping wishes to Lynn, who deserves no more laundry gremlins and many congratulations on finishing her papers! Love to all, JSC

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 11:37 PM CST

Let's see: Day 113, I think.

After the surprises of yesterday, it�s kind of nice to realize that nothing really has changed. Janie�s still healthy, relatively speaking, and in fact said at dinner that she is feeling better already on this lower dose of Cyclosporin (the immune system suppressant). No signs of GVHD so far, but of course it�s early.

We both went for walks on this sunny December day. And she rode on the bike stand. And I cooked dinner, and we read�all the usual stuff. It�s one of those weeks in which things are breaking around the house, so I had some feelings of being overwhelmed, but they�ll pass any day now.

Phone calls from friends helped keep us both going today. We�re so fortunate that you�re all on our team.

Love,
larry

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 1:00 PM CST day 112

Roller Coaster Ride Demolishes Boredom at Zoidburrow

No, no more daffodil bulbs masquerading as onions. No chiggers. Results from my 100-day biopsy are trickling in, and today's bit was surprising: 2 out of 20 cells have the bad old Philadelphia chromosome that marks CML. I had none out of 20 at day 21, and 1 out of 50 at day 60. And the qualitative PCR test was positive (had been negative at day 60).

Maybe next week we'll have the rest of the results and a more coherent report. All these tests have error percentages, of course. I just we didn't have to wait so long to get all the news!

So what we're doing is decreasing my immunosuppressant drug (cyclosporin, GenGraf, ickyfishystuff) lots faster than planned. We'll taper it down over the next 3 weeks instead of the next 8 weeks. I'm back to clinic visits every week now instead of every other week. "Let's Try It . . . and See What Happens!"

We want Patrona's cells to find those leukemia cells and get rid of them. Dr. Tomblyn says that CML responds very well to getting off immune suppressants and possibly asking Patrona for a few more cells (called a Donor Leukocyte Infusion).

Stay tuned! Our love to you all, JSC

P.S. Yesterday I got to do some chemistry at the Science Museum in preparation for a summer camp. It was great to see so many friends. Thanks for the smiles and good wishes: Ralph, Adele, Kit, Paul, Janet, Steve, Greg, Daryl, and Teresa.

Monday, November 29, 2004 10:50 PM CST

The day began with a 4:30 trip to the airport to get Lynn on her way. It was so good to have her here! Thank you again for coming, Buddy! Janie didn�t go, because she felt a tickle in her throat. Later she decided it was from breathing through her mouth while asleep, so there�s not a problem.

In fact, she went in to the Science Museum this morning (later) to try out a Harry Potter experiment. She assures me that she spurned all hugs and was in the employee-only part of the building, so there were no kids. But she did enjoy seeing folks and took longer than she�d anticipated to get home. So she didn�t have time for a walk. Such a busy life!

Unlike Lynn, I got to sleep well after the airport excursion. Then I got to skip breakfast to have my annual checkup. My doctor did no unusual �hmmms,� so I guess he didn�t find anything. Last year he ordered a brain scan, but they didn�t find anything. Definitely an improvement today.

One reason Lynn got only an hour of sleep last night was that she stayed up finishing a library book I had handed to her, �You�ve Got Murder� by Donna Andrews. It�s not really a murder mystery by my rather strict definition--more of an adventure story--but the hypothesis of a detective who�s a sentient computer program has some fascinating consequences. As the book jacket says, it�s �surprisingly moving.�

So another day of improving health to be grateful for, especially since several folks we know--some through CaringBridge sites, some personally--are dealing with illness or death right now. Thank you for being with us.

Love,
larry

Sunday, November 28, 2004 7:06 PM CST day 110

I ask you, where else but at the Copes's house could you experience this combination of events?

I'm biking away in the greenhouse, warm at last after a day that turned overcast in the afternoon. In the left channel, which I can see but not hear, Lynn and Larry are sitting at the breakfast bar discussing her Hamlet paper that has been cooking all semester and is due all too soon. From the right channel, an audio one, the end of Beethoven's 9th Symphony is thundering and shrieking. I'm whistling along and sometimes keeping pedaling pace with the chorus but usually panting behind.

We plan to all 3 leave at 4:30 AM to take Lynn to the airport, which is only about 20 minute away. Hmmmmm.

It was a gloriously sunny morning. I got out to walk around the block after lunch as the clouds were moving in. Very still and 37 degrees--not yet down jacket weather by any measure.

Thus Sunday evening. XXXOOOXOXOXO, JSC

Larry:
I had to add a few notes (non-musical) to what Janie has written.

Yesterday Lynn and I had a few minutes to discuss the other paper she�s writing, on the implications of the new hominid find in Indonesia. She was trying to analyze its challenge to the current theory about the correlation between brain size and the sophistication of tool usage, and I suggested that she give a name to this theory. The naming power seemed exhilarating to her, but we couldn�t come up with anything except �concomitant growth.� I thought she needed an �ism.� Today at church Karen suggested �concomitant expansionism.� We can usually depend on Karen for good words! Isn�t it fun to see ideas develop?

Rather than try to help Lynn with the Hamlet paper, I called on friend Diane. Sure enough, she was happy at the prospect of sitting around analyzing Hamlet over lunch today. After all, she runs the Minnesota Shakespeare Project that performs Shakespeare�s plays in schools around the state. And Hamlet is certainly one of her favorite plays. I had such fun watching the two of them have fun interacting, and I emerged from the restaurant even more impressed with both of them than before! Thank you, Diane!

And thanks to Lynn for trekking all the way here for these few days. Seeing her has meant so much to us both! Of course, we�re also grateful to all of the rest of you. These stories are just today�s manifestations of your love and support for our family.

Love,
larry

Saturday, November 27, 2004 4:52 PM CST day 109

We feel fine on day 109. First snow today! It came down almost all day, with temps right at freezing/thawing. Pairs of us were out for little shopping forays--nothing too crowded, fortunately.

I spent some of today mending clothes. Lynn brought home a couple of favorite items that needed some attention, and then I mended a couple of sweaters and a pair of gloves. It was pleasant work in my renovated project room, so I expect that sewing there will be a delight next month. She and I had fun at our local fabric store plotting secret projects, and she invented a no-sew fleece scarf when we got home. Pretty slick!

Tonight our other daughter Elaine is coming for dinner. Fair's fair--we shared Lynn with her family last night! Lynn and Larry are making our favorite souffle, which is also a fine father-daughter tradition.

Cheers and good health wishes to you all, JSC

Friday, November 26, 2004 11:20 PM CST

Somehow Janie resisted all temptations to run over to the Mall of America at 7 this morning. I shudder to think of her in that mob! Given that she�s probably been there only 3 times in her life, and then reluctantly, I didn�t exactly have to tie her down. Indeed, thanks to 35 degree rain most of the day, she didn�t even venture outside. She did bike in the greenhouse, though.

I acted like a tough Minnesotan and took my usual walk. Neighbor Julie kindly stopped and offered me a ride, but I persisted. Things could have been worse; I could have been cleaning gutters, like Jim across the street. Funny how the first forecast of serious snow can motivate a guy!

Lynn drove over to her friend Elaine�s for the afternoon and dinner, missing the reprise of our Thanksgiving dinner. Elaine's folks sent fresh eggs and honey back with her. Thank you so much, big Lynn and Dale!

Love,
larry

Thursday, November 25, 2004 Day 107 11:59 PM CST

For those of us in the US, today has been Thanksgiving Day. Janie and I have so much to be thankful for: the slow but steady improvement in her health, the fact that Lynn is home, our wonderful and supportive friends, neighbors, and family, including Jan and Brian, who so kindly shared their dinner with us today.

Perhaps most of all, we�re grateful for Janie�s donor, that dear but anonymous woman who gave her precious bone marrow that Janie might live.

I also want to thank all those who remembered my birthday. The cards hit a new high in hilarity, but emails and phone calls were welcome as well. And who among us wouldn�t be thrilled to receive a 5-volume set about the history of mathematics? Whoop, whoop!

Yes, I�ve been punchy all day.

Love,
larry

Wednesday, November 24, 2004 1:09 PM CST day 106

What a joyous sunny day it is! It's been a happy, productive day-before-a-holiday. It's also Larry's birthday, and I just finished baking his banana cake. I hope it will come out of the pan. There's frosting enough to swim in!

While Larry did some more plumbing (with NO extra trips to the hardware store), I wrote a letter to the Harry Potter publisher to get permission to use some quotations in the journal article I'm finishing and you're all tired of hearing about. I even got an envelope to print right side up the first time.

I'm wrapping up the writing efforts for a few days so Lynn can have her room back, and making her bed, and starting to giggle about having her home for Thanksgiving.

We're planning a coffee/tea date to Pirk's in S. St. Paul, a family business we like to support. They keep baking scones fresh during the day, so they're not stale by late afternoon. HOORAY!

I woke up with a headache and my heart full of grief that my life will never be the same. The best words in that sentence are "I woke up," and OF COURSE my life is never the same today as it was yesterday. The dread of looking backward and forward and forgetting to stay balanced in this moment sometimes overwhelms me. But THIS moment I send thanks and more thanks and lots of airhugs to all of you who have kept us upright on this roller coaster. Sometimes I can even ride hands-off!

Be well, JSC

Tuesday, November 23, 2004 11:46 PM CST

Larry here on 105. I have no rhyme and, some might say, little reason. Please accept any appropriate apologies.

Janie was unusually tired all day today. She took a short walk and a shorter bike ride, but she also took a nap, which she hasn�t been doing recently. Her exhaustion led her to worry that she�s getting sick, which in turn led to fear and some tears by dinner time. And they, in turn, brought out my own feelings of helplessness. Anyway, we were both calmer after reading aloud this evening. Being transported into someone else�s difficulties, even if imaginary, can be cathartic.

Otherwise the day felt productive for me, anyway. I did some good work on a simulation this morning, got in a walk to welcome a sunny day, worked some outdoors, and ran through a shopping list. Even enjoyed an audio chat with Lynn this evening. We�re all looking forward to her visit this weekend.

Presumably you�ll have Janie back tomorrow, so I�ll wish those of you in the U.S. a happy Thanksgiving. We are so thankful for all of your support.

Love,
larry

Monday, November 22, 2004 7:08 PM CST Day 104

We're back for more on day 104.

Highlight of the day: coffee with Greg and Laurie Shields this afternoon in St. Paul. They've both brought us so much courage through the last few months. Greg's transplant was in March this year for lymphoma. We had lots of stories to tell and advice to share and we laughed a lot. Very nourishing!

Today I spent at least an hour on the phone trying to figure out three or four insurance issues, and I think I got stuck on all of them. Well, not quite: I have an insurance transplant coordinator who is taking on the job of explaining remains of our hospital bill. And I did request a review of our out-of-pocket expenses, which should come in a couple of weeks. But I gave up on trying to figure out which of three benefit plans is the best guess for me for next year. I think I have one more phone strategy left for tomorrow. Sigh.

Spent a little time at the Science Museum to try out an experiment, but couldn't find the key to the cabinet I needed. So I'll have to go back another day.

I've been tired mid-day the last few days. We'll see if it's because I ran out of coffee Saturday. I'm only drinking one or two cups of half-caff a day, but maybe that's what's keeping me alert. If I nap during the day I don't sleep so well at night. Or maybe the days getting shorter has something to do with it.

Our best to you all. Three days til we see Lynn!! Whoop, whoop. JSC

Sunday, November 21, 2004 7:24 PM CST Day 103

Whee, it's 103.

As Larry noticed, we don't want my temperature to equal the day number at any time in the future!

Sunny day, read some, wrote some, biked and walked some, ate some yummy food. No drama on the health front. That's fine.

I guess I'm feeling wary about the next few weeks--want to get OUT, but there are lots of GERMS out there. Having company/family here will be wonderful, but will they just worry about me? What will happen with the cyclosporin taper? Will Patrona attack ME?

But right NOW there's an Anne Perry mystery to read with Larry, and it doesn't do to fret about uncertainty, now does it?? Love to you all, J

Sunday, November 21, 2004 0:32 AM CST

I suppose you can consider this an entry for Saturday, even though it�s officially Sunday.

We don�t really want to be reporting exciting news here, but you�re probably bored reading about how each day is pretty much the same as the previous one. No infection, no unbearable discomfort. Karen came by for lunch and the usual very enjoyable conversation. Thank you so much! You�re a dear friend. And thanks to all the dance folks who asked about Janie.

One goal for today was to fix the washing machine. Last weekend it left a pool of water on my new floor! I moved it out and peered under it, checked the hose, saw nothing, and shoved it back. No more leak. Thus encouraged, I decided to take on the snow blower, which last weekend ran for about a minute before quitting. Plugged fuel line? Fuel filter? Couldn�t get it to fail today. Should I be nervous?

Friday my parents made reservations to come here for Christmas, at our urging. Brother/sister-in-law Ron and Lisa are also planning to show up. We�ll put everyone up off-site to keep down the work load. The usual hilarity will be good medicine for Janie. Of course, we�ll take extreme measures with anyone who is sniffly.

But first comes Thanksgiving. Lynn is to arrive about noon Thursday and leave early Monday. Jan and Brian will be joining forces with us for dinner. We often have more than five, but we�ll hold down the excitement this year.

Thanks again to all of you for caring.

Love,
larry

Friday, November 19, 2004 7:34 PM CST Day 101

We've had some fun on day 101.

Just a quick update on what happened at the clinic. Not much news back from the biopsy, but the ordinary microscopy shows no signs of CML--just as we've had for several biopsies. My red and white counts are still a little down from normal, but nothing major. All the other measures were fine. Dr. Tomblyn said that my immune system, as measured by immunoglobulin production, is nearly as capable of making antibodies already as "normal." She thought that was "ahead of schedule." I'm still taking the immunosuppression drug, but at least I can fight off bugs!

So we've started the slow road to getting rid of the Cyclosporin. We'll stay at 100 mg morning and night til my next appointment on the 30th, see what happens, and probably take another step down. I think I won't dwell on all the possible complications of graft-vs-host at this point, but we'll keep our eyes open for them.

Drippy all day today. We need the rain before it freezes hard. Pacific patterns look like another El Nino winter, which usually means drier and warmer mid-continent. We'll see.

Hope to see Karen B for lunch tomorrow if she's well. Looking forward to Thanksgiving with Lynn, and NO CLINIC VISITS next week! Whoopee. Best to you all, JSC

Thursday, November 18, 2004 7:03 PM CST Day 100

Just in case you wondered, it's day one hundred.

It's been a full day. This morning we made breakfast for Tom Evans, who stayed with us last night and is driving home to Ohio now. We both felt so helpless to offer him anything other than a few creature comforts. We know that Pat is safe from pain now, but it's hard to be in this new world where death is so common and envelopes people we know or have met through Caringbridge sites.

Larry and I walked around Como Lake in St. Paul this afternoon, about 1.6 miles, and met two sisters we know from completely different contexts (a math teacher anda dance teacher). I hadn't realized they were sisters! We stopped for a chocolate and tea treat at BlackBear Crossing, a little restaurant in the restored building at the west end of the lake. It was a good walk!

We thank our Patrona for rescuing me and keeping me strong these last 100 days. We're so grateful to Dr. Marcie Tomblyn and all the staff at the transplant clinic for good care and for caring about us. We'll keep seeing them in the next 100 days, but perhaps not quite so frequently.

Tomorrow I have an afternoon clinic appointment. We actually started the Cyclosporine taper this past Tuesday because my blood levels were pretty high on Monday. So we'll see if we take another 25 mg step down or stay at this level for another week. I haven't noticed any extra heads growing, although I do have more hair in places I didn't think I did before. It'll help keep me warm this winter.

Although my "100 biopsy" was Monday, I expect it'll be a couple of weeks til we have results. That's annoying, but it means that I'm doing well and things are stable.

We thank you all for your love and support. Couldn't have made it this far without you!!! Be well, JSC

Wednesday, November 17, 2004 4:26 PM CST

Doing just fine on Day 99.

And I'm awake all day, so far. I got back from that fine lunch yesterday and slept almost all afternoon. That being too much sleep, I was wakeful much of the night. Should have the clock back to normal today.

I've enjoyed a massage this afternoon, a raspberry hot chocolate at a coffee shop near St. Kate's, and a quick walk around the block. No writing done today, shame on me, but I think I'm still a nice person.

Larry is visiting with Tom Evans at the hospital right now, and I hope he'll add some news.

Thanks for all the news and poems and hugs and healing wishes. Be well, all of you! Jane

from Larry, about 10 p.m.: Just got a call saying Pat had died a few minutes ago. The doctor had said she might hold on till tomorrow, and the numbers were stable, so I had come home. Apparently a local pastor was there at the time, and he called me.

Late this afternoon the doctor offered Tom the possiblity of having the life support removed, saying clearly that Pat's chances were very small. He also said it would be OK to keep her going, if Tom needed more time to process the downward spiral of the day. Tom chose the latter. He had told me Patty had said she didn't want to be kept alive like that, and that he hoped she wasn't holding on for his sake, but I certainly was not criticizing his decision; I don't know what I would have done in his place. Anyway, the importance of that decision turned out to be in getting me to think.

Thanks to all of you for your support and for the intended celebrations tomorrow. I'm not sure how we'll celebrate this psychological milestone, but we'll find some way.

Love, larry

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 9:56 AM CST day 98

Early morning news from Pat and Tom Evans: dialysis seems to be working to lower Pat's fluid levels. Larry will probably go into the hospital this afternoon to hang out.

Try not to be late on day 98.

Let's rewind the calendar to Saturday and Sunday so I can thank my Garden Angels once again: Mary Ann, Raspberry Pruner and Onion Finder was here on Saturday morning. It was great to enjoy some tea and conversation about the Science Museum. Sunday morning brought Adele the Weeding Wonder, who cleared out the whole east veggie bed of things that don't belong there any more. There will be lots of volunteers of all sorts next year because we left lots of seeds. I did sneak around and collect a few annual flower seeds, but I didn't WALLOW in them! And for Sunday afternoon, Weed Whacker Rebecca (a dancing partner of ours at Tapestry) did a fabulous job on the west side of the veggies. We just about filled up the outdoor compost bin with garden left-overs. Remind me in the spring, Rebecca, to bring you some garlic chive plants. SO GLAD FOR YOUR HELP, ALL THREE.

Yesterday I just slept off the biopsy drugs and ate a little. Still slept fine last night. News this morning from the clinic is that I can lower my Cyclosporin dose a bit already (they check the blood concentrations every time I'm in). Maybe that will be just til another check on Friday, or maybe we're on the way to getting off this drug!

I have a lunch date with two 3M friends at Boca Chica in West St. Paul. Looking forward to hot food and great conversation. More later . .. JSC

Monday, November 15, 2004 2:00 PM CST day 97

This is Day 97; it rhymes with 11.

News from the Evanses: Pat was taken down to regular ICU for dialysis. They're trying to let more of her body rest to fight the infection. Larry went over to see Tom this morning and is returning right now to give him some company and support.

I'm very loopy from biopsy drugs this mornings and will go back to sleep soon. It went OK, some pain, and I hurled my breakfast and morning pills in the midst of the procedure. Heck, it's better than vomitting slugs.

I'll wait til a little to THANK my Sunday Garden Angels Adele and Rebecca. We should have some pictures to add to the photo album later on today.

Need some food and another Demeral-purging sleep. Love to you all, Jane

Sunday, November 14, 2004 9:23 PM CST Day 96

Friends, will you pray with us tonight for Pat Evans? She and her husband Tom were with us during our work up week in July but returned to Ohio for more therapy before her transplant. They've been back in Minnesota less than two weeks, and she is fighting an extremely serious infection. Tom called us about 7 PM, and Larry decided after supper to go into the hospital to take some food and be with him. This is the kind of family that transplant folks become. I would be there too, if I could.

We'll have more news tomorrow. Be well! JSC

Saturday, November 13, 2004 5:45 PM CST Day 95

All alive at day 95! What a pleasant day, although I'm tired. Garden Angel Mary Ann came over this morning, and blazed a trail through overgrown black raspberry canes (cutting them back so they'll be better plants next year). She also harvested more onions (NO daffodils, we promise). The ground in that garden bed was actually frozen on the surface. We enjoyed some crockpot soup for lunch.

Then I slept for quite awhile; unusual during the day for me. Finished laundry and putting away summer clothes. I was feeling that late afternoon, "I'm too tired to exercise, how about a cup of tea" feeling. But I was virtuous and climbed on my bike before a wonderful shower.

I'm actually a little concerned about chiggers again. I shouldn't have sat on the grass and I should have gotten out of those clothes as soon as I could. Oh dread. SURELY they're killed by the frost! Stay tuned!

Thank you, Mary Ann, for great work and great conversation!

The house is feeling cozy although no fire is burning. Sunny days have been a joy lately! Best health and contentment wishes to you all from Jane

Friday, November 12, 2004 5:56 PM CST Day 94

Ready for more on day 94! Today I planned a shopping trip in the middle of the day and was VERY hungry by the time I got back at 2 PM. I stopped at the grocery store, the library, the post office, the fabric store, and a county office building.

Tonight Larry is at a church leadership retreat, and I'm doing laundry, getting out flannel sheets (mmmmm) and putting away more summer things. The day was beautifully sunny but only in the 40s.

Tomorrow and Sunday I have some Garden Angels coming to help with chores I want to do myself. Will get a pot of soup going in the morning, but now I'd better see what's in the fridge for supper. The freezer has been just packed with food gifts from friends, and we're slowly working our way through the treats. But I'm enjoying cooking so much that I hate to miss an opportunity.

Still feeling fine. Biopsy coming up on Monday (day 97, but it's the "100 day marker") We hope to find more of Patrona's cells and NO leukemia cells. It's been taking 2-3 weeks to get all the results back, so it seems like "just yesterday" that we had the 60-day check.

Dark and cold with dogs barking outside . . . J

Thursday, November 11, 2004 5:14 PM CST Day 93

Filled with glee on Day 93. Greg, you have started a rhyme challenge!

Larry and I just returned from a tea and scone trip to a little coffee shop in West St. Paul/Inver Grove Heights called Pirks. It's on South Robert street near the car dealerships. Great atmosphere, fresh scones, a comfy couch and table whose top raises up with a spring mechanism--way cool. It was a treat!

I did get a little more writing done today, walked the "long block" without collapsing, and made a list or two. Looking forward to an errand trip tomorrow morning when I hope the shops aren't too crowded.

We had a pretty hard frost last night, but the cilantro I hadn't yet harvested survived the cold. So I picked some herbs for a potion (actually a chutney) after my walk. Looking forward to a few Garden Angels coming over this weekend to help with garden clean-up. What we don't get done will wait til spring. Hands, stay out of the dirt!!!!!

Looks like there's time for a spin on the bike and a shower before supper. I'm much more contented than the last few days. Zoloft? Sunshine? Return of the Muse? Beautiful golden-yolked eggs for lunch from Barb and Billy--I had a green one and a brown one! Thanks again for bringing them last week!

Peaceful evening to all, J

Wednesday, November 10, 2004 2:23 PM CST Day 92

I thought I'd have a productive morning writing, but that Muse just isn't appearing. Even a walk around the block (50 degrees and blustery) didn't help. So I'll try other diversionary tactics and hope to have her inspirations back soon.

. . . cup of tea, e-mail, piece of chocolate, shop on-line for some presents, cup of mocha, piece of cheese, finish the last inch of that elf hat . . . guess it's not going to help.

I'd like to get rid of this stomach distress, whether it's drug-caused or Patrona's mischief or some of each. Seems a little worse when I'm exercising (walking or biking), always worse in the morning after breakfast. Just enough to keep me from concentrating completely on whatever I'm trying to do.

I'm eavesdropping on Larry on the phone, trying to get info about his mother's car mishap yesterday. She spent the night in the hospital, but she should be home by now. . . more later.

JSC 9:20 PM Larry's mother has bruises from the airbag inflation explosion, but no broken bones. "I'm just fine," she says, but the car is in sad shape. We're proceding with plans for Christmas, so they seem undaunted by the accident. That's GOOD news!

Time for another pile of pills and some sleep. I had a pleasant dream about my mother early this morning, but I couldn't recall any details. It was a nice visit. I miss her. J

Tuesday, November 9, 2004 6:07 PM CST day 91!

No, not 91 factorial. Don't be so literal, Larry!

What do you mean, it looks like hair. IT IS HAIR! And I showed it off a little more at the clinic today, even as I finish knitting more hats.

Everything measurable seems OK in the blood realm. Dr. Tomblyn convinced me to return to Zoloft--I really am anxious about the GVH world, and it will be hard enough to deal with physically without being distraught as well. So.

She thinks I'm probably into some mild GVH already--some skin-reddening that I hadn't noticed, and continuing GI discomforts. A little bit of this is OK, but we don't want it to be so severe that it needs steroids.

We'll start tapering the Cyclosporine after day 100, which does raise the risk of Patrona's cells attacking more of me. But it's important for her to go after those left-over leukemic cells. A steady, slow taper of the drug would take about 80 days--til 6 months after transplant. That's another checking point for a bone marrow biopsy.

So I'm thinking that the NEXT 100 days are another challenge that we'll face day by day. We've done really well the first 100, thanks to gifts of many kinds from so many dear people.

We celebrate DAY ZERO with our friend Pat. Her transplant was today about noon. Larry had planned to visit her while I was at the clinic, but after talking with Pat's husband Tom, he thought he'd wait another day or so.

Well, enough from me. Hope you're all well and content with how life is right now. JSC

Monday, November 8, 2004 8:34 PM CST Day 90

"It looks almost like hair!"
er "Some people have hair that short on purpose"
Hmmmm, I mean, "It does look kind of cute."

Perhaps I'm quoting Larry inaccurately, but he was mostly complimentary! There IS something less fur-like on my head, and I'll let him explain later.

I worked on some more bits of my Harry Potter article. It's a little more than half-done, and I should be able to finish it by Thanksgiving. Had a short, chilly walk and biked some. Had a shower, tried to finish a hat I want to wear tomorrow, and enjoyed a yummy supper that Larry cooked. We read a little of a new Anne Perry novel.

Nothing very dramatic today. That's OK. Pile of pills, and perchance to dream without flashing lights. Clinic tomorrow late afternoon--not expecting anything out of the ordinary there.

Our love and thanks to you all, Jane

I feel as if I was given an entrance cue but have no idea what to say. Sort of like those nightmares in which I found myself in front of a disorderly class unprepared to teach. But I've been called upon to talk about hair. It's definitely hair; not fuzz. And I think it looks kinda stylish. I did not say �it looks almost like hair.� It looks like hair. Period.

It's great to see Janie gaining more strength daily--walking more, biking more, working longer in a thinking mode, sleeping less. She's had several days in a row now of being not-sad, so the withdrawal from Zoloft seems to have been successful. Thanks to those of you who help her keep up her spirits.

Love,
larry

Sunday, November 7, 2004 9:00 PM CST Day 89

I don't get it. I just updated the webpage, but all I could find was Larry's message from early the morning. Hmmmm. J

Well, I DID lose that golden prose, and I'm just not going to try to recreate it. So there.

Except to say to Lynn that I did SO have to study in college. It's just that I made sure there was time to read novels during finals week.

from Larry Later: I haven't lost any prose (yet), so I'll fill in a couple of gaps, anyway. Janie had another good time with the TV group this morning. Then she biked and then took an extra-long walk with me. We were back in time for afternoon tea, and then Ken and Mary arrived for supper and good conversation. A very good day.

I'm particularly thankful tonight for all the good support at church this morning. Janie's eager to be able to join me there again, especially after I played a tape of the sermon for her (and Mary and Ken) after supper! We all felt better about the election after hearing that.

Love, larry

Sunday, November 7, 2004 0:07 AM CST

This was an exciting day for Janie. She spent most of the day at a meeting with the public television consulting group. Said that she would wear her mask all day, and she didn't stay for supper with them, but I worried anyway. Just a little.

Her absence did give me a chance to clean the house, though, in time for the dust to settle before her return. I also finished the mowing/mulching, and it was beautiful outside-sunny with a high around 60, I think, unusual for November. Soon enough, soon enough, it won't be so warm.

Janie had a couple of sad days early in the week, and we were wondering if she was feeling the withdrawal from Zoloft. She has seemed back to normal for three days, so maybe she's adjusting.

Last night we finished reading aloud Haunted Ground, by Erin Hart. It has everything we like in a read-aloud book: mystery without too much suspense or violence, good character development, a bit of romance, literary depth, and at least one place I couldn't read aloud because I was too choked up. As a bonus it included physical anthropology and is by a Minneapolis writer/folk dancer. (No, we don't know her.) It was her first novel, and there were some parts that strained credulity, but we played along and enjoyed it. I got it fairly soon after I requested it from the library, but at the time I noticed that the waiting line for her second novel, just out, was very long. Hope Lynn gets to read it, maybe during finals week.

Thanks to so many dancers for their support tonight, and thanks to the rest of you as well.

Love,
larry

Friday, November 5, 2004 5:05 PM CST Day 87

Another quiet day here. Had a wonderful chat with Lisa, my sister-in-law, about all kinds of things. Got some stuff ready for a workshop this weekend. Had a pleasant walk around the block (58 degrees here today). Our friend Terry, who flies to Amsterdam every other week, left us a little chocolate treat. Enjoyed afternoon tea with Larry. Now I'm watching the last pink light fade in the SW. I'm feeling surrounded by contentment, for no particular reason. Thanks for all your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement this week! JSC

Thursday, November 4, 2004 7:50 PM CST Day (yesterday plus one)

Not a lot going on. Boring is boring. I worked some on journal article, found some resources for weekend workshop coming up, knitted a little, walked and biked. It was dry enough for Larry to chop up some leaves outside with the mower. Sunshine helped.

We've decided to have family Christmas gathering here rather than making a long road trip or being by ourselves. That'll be good to look forward to. And Thanksgiving with Lynn will be cheery.

Enjoy the quiet dark night, J

Thursday, November 4, 2004 0:09 AM CST

Janie had a major outing today: This morning to a knitting group, lunch out, a massage this afternoon, and stopping by the Science Museum. (If I'd known about the last, I might have objected.) She seemed happy when I first saw her after she got home, but over dinner she was sad and couldn't articulate why. Election results? Exhaustion? Being off Zoloft? Frustrated by not being able to get out all the time? General loneliness?

Anyway, if you feel so inclined, now might be a good time to be in touch.

Love,
larry

Wednesday, November 3, 2004 8:50 PM CST Day 85

Had a very social day today--this morning I joined a small group of knitters at Pathways, a wholistic health center in Minneapolis. They're making hats and shawls for cancer patients, and I worked a bit on two of my projects. It was good to talk with others, and our friend Vonnie was volunteer receptionist there today. Hadn't seen her for quite some time.

I found a wonderful massage therapist through our friends Brian and Jan, and this afternoon I was back in Kris's talented hands. I wasn't sure how she'd work around the Hickman lines, but it was no problem. I would have gone weeks ago, but the chigger challenge delayed the pleasure. It would have been a very bumpy, and probably itchy, massage!

Stopped at the Science Museum to leave some info for my friend Russ. Although there are several great new exhibits at the museum this fall, it's probably germ heaven there, so I avoided the public areas.

We're enduring here. Election disappointments are particularly sharp. We've GOT to stop killing people.

Sigh, J

Tuesday, November 2, 2004 9:45 PM CST Day 84

Good evening all, We're alternating reading a great mystery novel aloud and listening to some election returns on the radio. Suspense all around.

Not too much news here--I did walk with Larry this afternoon around TWO blocks. That was an accomplishment! After a gray morning, the sun started to come out. We visited a new coffee shop nearby for a little date after our walk, which was very cheering. Larry put up with my driving quite politely.

I didn't write much today but knitted and read some. I'm still frustrated by some stomach discomfort that's probably drug-related. I just can't quite tell which drug, but it's probably the Cyclosporin, which will be with us for many more months. Or the M & T Bactrim (antibacterial), that goes on even longer.

But drugs are important, and I'm glad they exist.

Thanks to all for your great support. We had more of Barb J's chicken soup we had stashed in the freezer several weeks ago. It was really delicious again. Be well! Janie

Larry: In answer to concerns, I managed to get a flu shot today without any difficulty. In fact, there was no line there, as there wasn't at the polls at the moment.

Tuesday, November 2, 2004 0:09 AM CST

I suppose Janie couldn't think of anything to say after another healthy day. Tomorrow (Tuesday) is a very special day for her: she doesn't have a clinic appointment. Assuming all continues to go well, this will be the first week since mid-July that she hasn't seen a doctor. I don't sense any trepidation on her part.

Not that she can go stand in line to vote. She already filled out her absentee ballot and hand delivered it last week. She was not undecided. That status hasn't prevented the phone calls and emails from coming. Like Ralph in the Guestbook, we hope the election will be over soon.

Not too many raindrops today. If we could get another day or two of drying, I'd try a last mowing to mulch the leaves. Then I'd be taking my walk around the yard for a few days. Hope that can happen before I have to get the snow blower out.

At the urging of several folks at church, as well as Kelly, I pursued another avenue to get a flu shot. A nurse at a nearby clinic for my new HMO said, �Yes, you're high risk. Come to the walk-in clinic tomorrow.� So I may get to stand in two lines tomorrow. Well, today. I'll try, anyway.

We appreciate your love and support so much!

Love,
larry

Sunday, October 31, 2004 2:03 PM CST Day 82

You'd think a person could conjure up orange and black graphics somehow for today, but it eludes me! Hope your weekend's been pleasant. We enjoyed company both Friday and Saturday nights. Last night, our "lower neighbors" Barb and Billy came for supper and cups of tea and lots of good stories. We have four daughters among us, and we had to catch up on all their exploits. They also raise Highland cattle, horses, and chickens (who lay Easter-colored eggs). Last night one of the horses had broken into the chicken coop to steal their grain; we hope she has recovered from a big stomach ache.

Not that Larry's company alone isn't WONDERFUL, but I'm really missing people. Thinking of several more months of isolation is just grim. But this next week I'm going to a very small knitting group at Pathways, a wholistic health center in Minneapolis. And maybe a massage.

I'm still pecking away at the Harry Potter journal article--I sure hope the journal doesn't turn it down after all this work! I'm writing a section just now about the chemistry of invisible inks and color-changing inks.

Better get out for a walk. It's very still outside and about 45 degrees. Or maybe a nap. Best of the day to you all from J

5 PM Had a nice nap, a good cup of cocoa, AND a walk around the BIG block without falling over! Not that the block south of us is much bigger than the northern block, but it's just been a struggle. Maybe I broke the jinx by walking counterclockwise! Also stopped in the garden and found a few plants in the greens garden that hadn't gone to seed--they may be a little strong-flavored, but a nice end-of-season treat to stir-fry. JSC

Saturday, October 30, 2004 0:07 AM CDT

Who would have thought that it would get warmer outside than inside the house, now that we're settled in for winter? A high of 72 according to our thermometer. Walking in a t-shirt with nothing over it. They say it was very temporary, of course.

In an IM chat, Lynn had a lot to say about the new species found at Liang Bua. She mentioned lots of exciting questions, especially about their dating techniques. It's been nice seeing interviews and quotes from folks she has worked with.

All this is to avoid saying that it was a pretty normal boring day for Janie. She did run some errands--well, she drove, the car ran--and she talked with clinic folks about the latest test results, about which nobody seems worried. And she really enjoyed Kit's visit for dinner and conversation this evening. So did I, for that matter.

Thanks again for all your support. The prize today goes to Franz, who called from Guam.

Love,
larry

Thursday, October 28, 2004 7:32 PM CDT Day 79

Hello all, We're having a good news, ambiguous news day here. This morning the clinic called to say that the FISH test results from my bone marrow are positive for leukemia cells, although slightly less so than in September. I hoped for more detail this afternoon, but I didn't get any more information.

For sure I can't explain all the intricacies of the two different tests. The PCR (polymerase chain reaction) test, which we heard Tuesday was completely negative for cancer cells, checks up to a million cells, so it is much more sensitive than the FISH test. FISH is a fluorescent immunoassay that looks for the specific bad gene in CML, which is a smallish length of DNA. FISH tests typically look at 400-500 cells.

I need to ask some more questions about how these tests compare with what was tested in September. I don't know what the reliability of each test is in terms of false-positives and margins of error. We need to see the results of the third, least sensitive, test (cytogenetics, where 20-25 cells are grown, stained, and looked at under a microscope), which still weren't reported as of today. I also want to know if there were peripheral blood tests done in parallel with the marrow tests.

So stay tuned! I think this isn't a big deal at day 60, but I would be more concerned if we were getting positive results a year from now.

I got a fair amount of reading, writing, and knitting done today. Larry went for a walk in the rain, but I stayed inside to bike. He's at a concert with our friend Ben tonight, so I'm enjoying the evening cuddled up with book and quilt.

Thanks and ever thanks for your love and care, Janie

Wednesday, October 27, 2004 10:26 PM CDT

I see Janie didn't post today, perhaps because it's difficult to follow yesterday's big news. The outpouring of joy in the guestbook made us appreciate you all even more than before, if that's possible. Isn't this CaringBridge web site organization wonderful?

Today was pretty typical for both of us, except that dinner was especially good, due to neighbor Barb. Thanks, Barb! We are glad to count one more day--78--without an infection or serious GVHD. Hang in there, Janie!

One issue that came up at the support group last night was that of flu shots. Folks there seemed indignant that my clinic doesn't consider me high risk enough to get one. My impression is that the reasoning of those who make the difficult decisions is, �If your getting the flu could kill you, you're high risk. If your getting the flu could kill someone else, you're not.� I guess I should be honored to be grouped with the doctors and nurses at the BMT clinic. At least only 10-15 percent of the population gets it, and I am washing my hands like Lady Macbeth.

Thanks again for all your love and support.

Love,
larry

Tuesday, October 26, 2004 4:53 PM CDT Day 77

Good news today. Way good news!

We've been waiting a couple of weeks for the day 60 bone marrow biopsy results. Dr. Tomblyn took the time to highlight the key word on the report sheet before coming in and dropping it in front of us: �Negative.� That is, the PCR test detected no sign of leukemia. We would call that a molecular remission. In other words, this process, so far, has worked. In still other words, �Whoop, whoop!�

Some of you know, and all of you can guess, how we felt at that moment.
J�s cells are now 100atrona�s, to whom we owe all of this good news. How can we ever thank her?

For those of you who do know, the FISH results weren�t back yet. All blood numbers look good.

So what does the future hold? Well, the 100 day marker comes in about 3 weeks. So does another biopsy. About that time, we�ll start tapering off the Cyclosporin, very slowly, perhaps over 80 days, watching carefully, pausing if needed. Then we�ll start tapering the other drugs. The anti-bacterial may last for the full year, but, as Marcie says, �it all depends.�

The only exception is Zoloft, the anti-depressant, which is being stopped immediately. J. was on a half dose for this past week, and once I reported that she hadn�t turned into a spouse beater Marcie said �drop it.�

It�s not the end of the road, by a long shot, but it�s an important milestone. We�ll celebrate tonight by going to a BMT support group session at the hospital.

We wouldn�t be here, at least psychologically, were it not for all of you wonderful friends who have been so supporting. Thank you so much!
Love, Larry (and that other one)

From that other one: AND I get a week off from clinic visits--next visit on the 9th. JSC

Monday, October 25, 2004 6:16 PM CDT day 76

Not a lot going on today. I wrote, read, knitted, walked, ate, biked, rested . . . all made for a pleasant day. Wonderful to have another sunny day.

Hoping for good biopsy results at the clinic tomorrow. The lab is really behind! JSC

Sunday, October 24, 2004 7:13 PM CDT Day 75

Today was rich with sunshine and visitors! This morning Adele, garden angel and museum friend, came over with no particular agenda than tea and a chat. We had such a good visit. We both have amazing daughters and often share stories of their upbringing(s) and our own childhoods. THANK YOU for the bread and soup you left behind. We'll enjoy them later this week.

Then Franz came for lunch, although he and Larry had not connected at church for a convoy to Inver Grove Heights. Lots of road construction in Minneapolis has made for complications, but both of them arrived safely. We had a splendid time over lunch, and Franz took some pictures for us that I'll try to get posted. Franz and I have talked on the phone, but not seen each other since the end of July. I think it will probably be February before Dr. Tomblyn will let me get back to crowded places, if then. Sigh.

And a THIRD treat: Amanda came over to repot a couple of overgrown house plants for me. She brought a few of her own that needed some TLC, and it was warm enough for us to work out on the deck. I mostly sat and knitted and offered advice. One of the plants we resurrected was a HUGE aloe plant that neighbor Shirley had given Amanda when the Williamses moved to Washington a couple of years ago. We made 7 plants from it, and there could have been many more.

We'll enjoy supper made for us by neighbor Kari and dig a little farther into a great new mystery about a "bog body" in Ireland. Larry's well, I'm well, we're greatful for another fine, fine, very fine day. JSC

Saturday, October 23, 2004 7:25 PM CDT Day 74

We're still plugging along here, eating, sleeping, generally enjoying the falling leaves. I got out again ALONE to see dear friends Anne and Alice in White Bear Lake this morning. It was so good to be together and eat and talk about how each of us is facing quite different health issues. Very nourishing time for me. Thanks to you both, and to Larry for not worrying too much about my driving.

I'm reading and knitting tonight and settling into the evening. Looking forward to some visitors tomorrow and to cooking lunch for them.

Lynn reports that her sore throat is not strep and that her broken toe hurts but is bearable. [She caught her little toe on a chair rung Wednesday.] You just don't realize how much you use your toes to walk until one is injured! She seems to have gotten through midterm week well, but has a pile of other projects to work on this weekend. She's trying to get all her grad school and fellowship applications done before Thanksgiving.

And I will end with love and thanks to all. J

From Larry later: J's being out of the house for four hours today did have the advantage of allowing me to do some pretty thorough cleaning. I can't safely raise the dust while she's here.

Thanks to all of you who expressed concern for my bug. Or, in a few memorable cases, concern for me. J didn't mention yesterday that some vitamin C and about two hours of sleeping allowed me to do away with the poor critter. I was able to eat real food for dinner and have felt fine ever since. But the experience does tell me that we need a plan in place for what to do if I get sick. I hear that the rules of etiquette suggest that I not scatter viruses around the home of an immune-suppressed person. Suggestions are welcome.

Love,
larry

Friday, October 22, 2004 5:25 PM CDT Day 73 already

Good day dear ones,

Kind of a quiet day at Zoidburrow. I've decided to work again on a journal article that has been interrupted by all kinds of other things over the last couple of years. It's about the chemical special effects in the Harry Potter books, and how non-magical chemists can simulate them without a magic wand. I have a LOT more to write, including finding some appropriate quotes from the HP books. I found at the library that the hard-back and paperback books are paginated the same way, so what I've found already doesn't depend on which binding one has. Feels great to pick up this project again, and I like what I've written so far.

I tried walking the longer block today, and again it was more than I could comfortably manage without a couple of rests. When I measured the two blocks on the map, the "longer" one is less than a quarter of a mile more, certainly not twice as long! I wonder why it is so much harder! The "misty, moisty weather" was pleasant. I whine about the cloudy weather because the house is colder, although now with window plastic on (thanks, Larry!), it seems cozier.

Larry and I went together to the library, drugstore, and grocery store this afternoon, although I stayed in the car after the first stop. He's feeling a bit ill right now and thought it was something/someone in the library that brought it on.

I'm still feeling well, still swallowing pills, still waiting for biopsy results. We know the initial microscopy looks fine, but that's been the case for some time. Don't know why they're taking nearly two weeks to get us some numbers. Not much we can do but wait. We'll hope to have some news at my clinic appointment next Tuesday.

And we're still feeling incredibly grateful for the relatively smooth road so far! Thanks, thanks to all of you who have propped us up and encouraged us to keep our eyes on the prize.

Best of the day, JSC

Thursday, October 21, 2004 10:42 AM CDT Day 72

Hi all, Well a BIG highlight of yesterday was a phone call from our "transplant trail breakers" Kelly and Rob in California. You know how hard it is to be the first one snowshoeing in deep snow or biking into the wind? These two have been right ahead of us, blazing a trail, and have shared so many insights and advice. Really cheered up my afternoon.

I've got to quit whining about this gray sky. It's probably going to last through the weekend, and it's not THAT cold or windy. My walk around the block yesterday felt great. I don't know why I wasn't walking more earlier, but it's a pleasure now.

To keep us all from whining about the weather, this news: The spouse of a friend at the Science Museum is in Antarctica, headed today for the South Pole, where the temp is -68 F. Brenda is an engineer for a company that maintains equipment at the South Pole station, and I'm so excited about her trip. Her blog is very cool.

And I'm reading a lot of travel books lately--must be some connection!

Yesterday I worked on putting summer clothes away. Doing a lot of laundry, for sure, but finding the little surprises in pockets too. It's hard to put away my hot pink skirt. Surely there's an occasion this winter . . .

Maybe more later, J

1:30 My first trip to a grocery store since August! Simple pleasures!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 11:33 PM CDT

It seemed as if Janie spent a lot of today on the phone, talking with folks ranging from bureaucrats to friends. Thanks to all of you who help keep her from being too bored.

My day was pretty normal-work this morning, a walk, errands. It was good to talk with Sharon on the walk. Later attended a board meeting at church. Janie was nice enough to have some supper waiting for me when I got home at 7:45. After I ate we got to read some before she tackled her pile o' pills and then bed.

Someone asked about Sunday's sermon, which a visitor said was so unbelievable. It's now posted at www.plymouth.org/sermon101704jg.htm.

Thanks to Sharon and all the others who are so supportive.

Love,
larry

I'll leave up Janie's repeated classified ad:

WORM FARM EMERGENCY!

Hope someone local can help. We "loaned" our worm composter to dear friends in Prior Lake until they (the worms) can live here again. They (the friends) are having trouble with mold and fruitflies in the worm bin and are also leaving soon to visit a new grandchild.

It wouldn't be a problem to leave a healthy worm bin for a few weeks, but our friends are looking for another host for the little guys. They are willing to transport the bin to you.

Anyone interested? Experienced? Please let us know right away!
With many thanks, JSC

Tuesday, October 19, 2004 4:59 PM CDT day 70

Got NO news at the clinic regarding last week's biopsy, but today's blood tests were fine. So things are stable. I want to repeat a plea from yesterday's journal, hoping we can find adopters for our Can o' Worms.

WORM FARM EMERGENCY!

Hope someone local can help. We "loaned" our worm composter to dear friends in Prior Lake until they (the worms) can live here again. They (the friends) are having trouble with mold and fruitflies in the worm bin and are also leaving soon to visit a new grandchild.

It wouldn't be a problem to leave a healthy worm bin for a few weeks, but our friends are looking for another host for the little guys. They are willing to transport the bin to you.

Anyone interested? Experienced? Please let us know right away!
With many thanks, JSC

Monday, October 18, 2004 7:12 PM CDT day 69

WORM FARM EMERGENCY!

Hope someone local can help. We "loaned" our worm composter to dear friends in Prior Lake until they (the worms) can live here again. They (the friends) are having trouble with mold and fruitflies in the worm bin and are also leaving soon to visit a new grandchild.

It wouldn't be a problem to leave a healthy worm bin for a few weeks, but our friends are looking for another host for the little guys. They are willing to transport the bin to you.

Anyone interested? Experienced? Please let us know right away!
With many thanks, JSC

Janie didn't describe the day because it was so much the same as they have all been recently: get up, take a pill, sleep some more, eat breakfast, take more pills, shower, change the dressing, clean the lines, listen to the radio, have lunch, walk, bike, read, cook dinner, read together, take more pills, go to bed.

For variety, we finally got some folks out to clean out the duct work today. It was too cold for J. to be outside, and I couldn't be here, so she stayed in but wore her mask. Hope it did the trick. They raised a little dust, but apparently not too much.

Thanks for your love and support!

Love,
larry

Sunday, October 17, 2004 6:10 PM CDT day 68

Hello all, It's been almost wintery today. Got out for a walk around the block, going partway with Larry (he goes farther and faster than I do) this afternoon. Little snert balls were coming out of the sky, so I took a package for Lynn to the post office and biked inside when I got home.

It's taken most of the week, but I've finally accomplished a bunch of things: plants in greenhouse trimmed enough to bring bike inside, birdfeeders refilled, stuff sent to Lynn, laundry done, went to the library, and got some exercise nearly every day. THAT sentence is far from parallel-y constructed!

I re-read most of this journal this morning--what a lot I've forgotten or was unconscious for! I guess it's good that the bad times fade away into amnesia. I'm so fortunate to be feeling so well--some of those early days of crying and sleeping all the time were pretty grim.

Our continued thanks to you for all the good cheer you send to us! JSC

Niteowl: Thanks so much to Kari for several dinners tonight. She went to Let's Dish last week and put together four main dishes according to their recipes. And then she gave some to us! The salmon was delicious.

So much support at church today, too. Thanks so much to all of you!

Love,

larry

Saturday, October 16, 2004 9:42 PM CDT Day 67

Good evening dear friends, We've had a contented evening with Ben and Laura, who brought a delicious meal and a movie to watch. Larry's off dancing. We brought my bike into the greenhouse out of the cold, blustery weather. It works just fine indoors. Made some cookies for Lynn--will get box ready to send you tomorrow, buddy.

Larry and I spent some time this morning trying to straighten out medical statements and bills. It's not impossible, but there are a lot of confusing bits. We'll soon meet the out-of-pocket deductible amount on my insurance, and we will be reimbursed for some expenses from a Leukemia and Lymphoma Society grant. It's frustrating that the billing is so far behind--sometimes it's hard to remember just when we were where.

I spent some time knitting, reading, and doing laundry today. Nothing with much mental effort, but it's important work to stay well and keep getting stronger. Next clinic appointment is Tuesday, when we hope to have some results from the biopsy.

Keep letting us know of your adventures. Come visit when you can!

Many thanks and hugs to all, JSC

Friday, October 15, 2004 5:01 PM CDT Day 66

Poisoning Accident Narrowly Averted in Kitchen Drama

This is NOT manufactured news, just a little harvest lesson. Last weekend my friend Peder planted garlic for next year and dug what onions we could find in the herb garden. Since many of them had re-sprouted and wouldn't keep very well, I decided to chop and freeze them. Larry cleaned them up nicely, and I started on the chopping today. Hmmmm. . . there were a few odd-shaped, not-quite-the-right-color bulbs that I thought might be garlic that hadn't grown much. But when I cut into them, they were layered like an onion, but they had no smell. So I figured they were spoiled and tossed them in the compost.

Then I realized they were peeled DAFFODIL bulbs! They are really poisonous, so that would be a bad deal later this winter when we started to use the frozen onions. If we had harvested the onions just when the tops dried, it wouldn't have been a problem, but we excavated a little too far and harvested a different kind of Allium! Or if I had done the cleaning up, I think I would have recognized them.

We can pass this murder mystery plot on to the author of the China Bayles herb-shop book series. No charge!

That excitement aside, it's been a quiet day. I felt a little stronger on my mile walk although I slowed down on the last hill. Talked on the phone with friends Franz and Gordon, both of whom I enjoy so much. I've been lazy answering e-mail lately, so I'd better get to it. I noticed I can read my handwriting much better--drug-related hand tremors are becoming less obvious.

Did I mention that I've agreed to teach some kids' classes at the Science Museum in April and May? My doctor thinks January is too soon, but I'm delighted to be planning so far ahead. Depends on my being well, of course.

Best of this rainy day to you all, JSC

Larry later:
We've been grieving the death yesterday (Thursday) of our friend Abbey, a wonderful 3-year-old who made it beyond the 100 days post-transplant for a rare genetic condition called Fanconi Anemia. Occasionally we were in the clinic at the same time as her and her parents, Brandi and Greg. Tuesday they moved operations to a hospital near their home in Utah. Abbey has had a rough life, but her joy touched many of us very deeply.

Thursday, October 14, 2004 10:38 PM CDT Day 65!

Janie went to bed tonight without updating this, so I guess it's my privilege again.

Another day without infections or GVHD! She took a walk around the �shorter� block. She ran a load of laundry, in her quest to take on that job again regularly. And she actually drove herself to run some errands in uncrowded places. (To appease me, she agreed to stick to local surface streets.)

She also made salads and served up the wonderful pork-and-rice dish that neighbor Sharon so kindly brought by. It was also great of Jeff to drop by to visit this morning. Thanks to you both and to all of you who keep us going!

Love,
larry

Wednesday, October 13, 2004 3:10 PM CDT day 64

Kind of a dozey, drizzly day today. Walking experiment #4: our "little block" is just about right for a 20-minute stroll or a 15-minute speed walk. I chose the former. I think it's almost time to bring my bike into the greenhouse. Have a couple more plants to trim up and move around.

Still feeling OK, but my stomach has been a little jumpy. I accidentally took my evening (bigger) cyclosporin dose this morning. It's great to have the conversation at the clinic much more about getting permission to do more things than puzzling about complaints! Hope that continues.

Love to you all! J

Anything more from Larry????

How can I resist an invitation like that, even if I have nothing much to add?

They said early this week that the high temps would drop about 10 degrees each day, from in the 70's Monday. So far I think they've been right on schedule. That must be the meaning of fall. Today it was raining along wtih being cool.

Therefore I didn't have any chats on my walk, except with Steve, the mail carrier, who was sitting in a warm, dry truck. I spent the rest of the afternoon on little projects around the house. Still feel a little overwhelmed by having to put off several parts of projects to be finished later, so never feeling that I've finished anything. Such as, clean one bathroom tonight, not two. Or clean up half the pile on my desk.

I've especially appreciated the support of so many of you over the last 24 hours. Again I say thank you.

Love,
larry

Tuesday, October 12, 2004 7:31 PM CDT Day 63

Not much to report today. I took a short walk this morning, made longer by meeting a neighbor. Good to catch up on his news. We went to the clinic (all numbers in good ranges) and came back. Had yummy lasagna from Mary Rose (thankyouthankyouthankyou!).

I'm a little weary, but I'm sleeping better. Taking an Ativan with my night pills either turns off the flashing Voriconazole lights or makes me just not care about them! Biopsy site is a little sore, but no big deal.

Love to you all, J

Monday, October 11, 2004 9:09 PM CDT

Last summer, when I was inhaling Rob and Kelly's CaringBridge site to learn all I could about their transplant journeys, I was repeatedly impressed by Kelly's knowledge and ability to converse intelligently with the health care folks. I kept thinking, �I'll never know enough to be able to catch a mistake or question a procedure.� Well, the biopsy this morning showed that both Janie and I know a bit more than we did before.

The biopsy team consisted of the technician we've had for the two previous biopsies (I think her name is Maria; lowly technicians don't get name badges), along with a resident who seemed to be performing her first or second procedure, plus a technician who was watching his first. Most of the time Maria kept the resident on track, offering suggestions and responding to questions in a way that seemed to be giving choices to the mighty doctor. But Maria had her back turned, preparing slides or whatever, when the doctor started to drill. So it was up to me to ask, �Are you going to do an incision first?� The resident muttered some euphemism for �oops� and backed up a step.

Janie's turn came after it was all over and we were about to leave. The doctor du jour came in. He's the first one we met at the clinic and may even still be J's official oncologist, though she's been assigned a different doctor for now. Anyway, as he and she were chatting about things, she mentioned the flashing lights and her experiments to find that they're due to the drug called Vfend. He seemed puzzled and said they were more likely due to Voriconazole. Janie said, �Same thing.� After a long pause he said, �Oh, yes. Of course.�

Still not in Kelly's league, but moving toward the minors. (Kelly might have insisted on an experienced driller, and she almost definitely could have spelled Voriconazole without looking it up.)

While Janie slept off some of the drug, I sat in her room and uploaded a new photo for the album. (Check it out!) Then I found a use for Instant Messaging. I've had IM on my computer for a few weeks and have used it a little with Lynn, but not much. Sitting in the clinic I wasn't about to phone Lynn, but I "IMed" her and we started a conversation. After telling her about the biopsy, I asked what she was up to today.

Lynn: It's Columbus Day, so the Museum's closed (for workers).
Lynn: I'm having lunch with a friend at 12.
Lynn: And then I was going to do work
Lynn: But I'm having dinner with his royal highness the Prince of York
Lynn: And I have nothing to wear
Lynn: So I have to go find something nice and cheap
Larry: Uh, what's that all about?
Lynn: He just wanted to meet me
Lynn: (smiley face)
Lynn: No, he's meeting with all the Rhodes and Marshall nominees
Lynn: We're having dinner, he likes to encourage young people
And so on.

This afternoon Janie slept while I cleaned at the utility room floor (again) and wondered exactly where one has dinner with the Duke of York. Since it's modern times, I suppose one eats in New York.

Love,
larry

Sunday, October 10, 2004 9:03 PM CDT Day 61

Another gorgeous fall day here in Minnesota. We celebrated this afternoon with a walk in a local park with our friend Kit, who has recently retired from teaching statistics at the U. He's still working on several research projects. I did pretty well, but the rest stops were welcome! Thanks for the company and the encouragement, Kit!

Larry is having fun with his new camera, and wanted to be sure to capture some fall color today.

Tomorrow early we have another biopsy and a chest X-ray, both in honor of day 60. Should be home before noon. I have another clinic appointment on Tuesday, but it's unlikely we'll have any results from the tests yet.

Better get some rest . . . I think I've solved the flashing lights problem, but I want to try the same experiment a second night. More later, JSC

Saturday, October 9, 2004 4:21 PM CDT Day 60

What a day of Angels! A whole crew of them! This afternoon museum pal Peder and his daughter Erin came over to plant garlic for next season. Since there was not a bit of my own-grown garlic left, I had to buy enough to plant (and enough to eat) at our nearby organic farm stand. And THAT required a drive over there (a couple of miles), all by myself! Didn't feel odd at all, but it's been since the first of August that I've been other than passenger in a car.

Those two Garden Angels not only planted garlic and harvested flowers. They also took home some catnip for their cat buddies and dug what we could find of my onion crop. I believe I will ask a clean person to wash and peel all the onions. Then we'll chop and freeze them. I think that will be less dirt exposure for me, and they'll keep OK that way.

Now this afternoon Chore Angel Joyce arrived. She's a great carpenter and gave great advice to Larry on replacing a faucet. Then they worked on sealing up our utility chase, which is probably the path for mice wanting to get into the house this time of year.

AND Dinner Angels Dave and Mary are bringing yummy Chinese food for all of us. Larry, Dave, Mary, and Joyce are all going to the contradance and I'll figure out SOMETHING to do. Actually I'm returning to a long and deep book I read some time ago and still love: William Least Heat-Moon's PraryErth. So I won't be bereft.

Another first today--I walked around our block (which is a couple of miles) this morning. It was a little more than I could easily do, but it will be good to work up to in the future.

AND beautiful weather!

Postscript on drug-caused flashing lights: just because I figured out what causes it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I was awake at least 3 hours after my evening dose. Maybe I can get the dose lowered and it will be better. Or stay up later.

Best of the day to you all, JSC

Friday, October 8, 2004 9:10 PM CDT Day 59

Thanks to isolating a variable (in medical care), I figured out one of my drug-related side effects this morning. It's the "flashing lights" that I often see/experience when I've gone to bed and the room is quite dark. It really keeps me awake, and now I know it's from the anti-fungal drug V-fend. I had been taking all my morning medications at the same time with breakfast. This past week I've been taking it "the proper way," on an empty stomach an hour before breakfast. Today I got up, took those pills, and went back to bed. Even though it was light in the room, I still had "flashing lights." AHA! There's some reason to it.

I got a lot of exercise today: went for a long-ish walk with Larry to do a small job at a neighbor's house. I was pretty tired on the way back, but it was a good leg-stretcher. Maybe I'll do some walking mornings and a little less biking in the afternoons. This afternoon's biking was so pleasant outdoors with a brisk wind blowing the clouds along. We'll need to bring the bike inside soon, but it's been beautiful all week.

With mask and gloves on, I trimmed some plants in the greenhouse and got them better arranged. Tomorrow I have a couple of Garden Angels coming to plant garlic for next year. Hooray!

It was good to make supper tonight too. I hope I'm not starting to take for granted feeling so well! I do have a bit of a sore throat that bears watching.

Be well and enjoy each other! JSC

Thursday, October 7, 2004 5:45 PM CDT day 58

Not a lot exciting today. I finished a couple of books from dancer friend Kathy--had forgotten about them and it was a treasure. It started to sprinkle as I was almost through riding on the deck, but the rain didn't materialize here.

I'm starting to get used to this slow pace. I'm very thankful for the lack of drama in my recovery so far! From June 2003 through June 2004, I was at times working three jobs and in constant motion. It takes awhile to skid to a stop. But I do miss work colleagues, church friends, swimming buddies. It's hard to be so isolated, but I know that I'm not ready for their germs yet.

Leaves are slowly turning. JSC

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 3:01 PM CDT Day 57

I have at least 57 things to be grateful for! Such a gorgeous day that I didn't need to bundle up in many layers to enjoy my biking minutes. I wonder how many more "shorts days" we'll have this season.

A few changes of plans: my bone marrow biopsy is postponed from this Friday until next Monday. They must have overbooked. I get to decrease my Cyclosporin intake a little (100mg morning, 125 at night), so maybe the stomach jitters will ease up. We're watching a couple of other side effects that are annoying but not debilitating.

Larry and I are on the way to help our friend Alice with computer problems: we're the Squeek Squad instead of the Geek Squad. Not that I can offer help, but it will be nice to ride and visit and get out of the house again.

Lynn reports that GREs on Monday went well (they take the test on a computer and get instant grading at the end!). Larry has a new digital camera, so maybe he will put up some new pictures.

More later, JSC

Horse change:

Exhibiting great fortitude under pressure, I have now taken two photos, transferred them to my computer, and posted them in the gallery. A third will be coming as soon as I remember to start actually using the camera. I could have shot Janie and Alice with the Canon this afternoon, for example, but was I prepared? Noooo.

As J says, it was a good day. Autumn is not falling fast. I'm believing the prediction that the colors will be a couple of weeks behind normal here. Maybe by Halloween I'll be able to post a picture of reds and yellows from the neighborhood. (If I remember. . . ) Days like today, when I can walk without sleeves, aren't usual for October, and more are predicted after a couple of days of rain.

After several months of a dry spell, it felt good to have to turn down an offer of work today. I have plenty to do this fall!

Thanks again to so many of you for all the support, moral and physical!

Love,
larry

Tuesday, October 5, 2004 5:56 PM CDT Day 56

My Day 56 card is from Lynn, and it says: "Whoopee! Jump around! Jump around!" I'll do just that because Dr. Tomblyn says I can drive (with some qualifications) and I can go to the library with a mask when it isn't busy. But no busy restaurants or church or (probably) contradancing. I didn't dare ask her about that!

Counts and concentrations were all pretty good today, so no infusions or transfusions or perfusions or contusions. Not to much confusion either. I've had some small problems with headaches, nausea, and flashing lights (at night). We rearranged some of my medications (from morning to night time) trying to move some of those side effects out of prime daytime. Maybe that will work.

Jan and Brian were my drivers today, and we're all four sitting down to dinner from neighbor Carol. Thanks to all and to whoever was responsible for the beautiful weather today! Be well, JSC

Sunday, October 3, 2004 4:37 PM CDT Day 54

Such a glorious day! It was a pleasure to be outdoors this afternoon, but I think another frost is coming tonight.

While I was biking on the deck, Tyler, Kevin, Mary Rose, and Larry were busy moving firewood into the woodshed. Many hands certainly made that chore go quickly--THANK YOU ALL!! We won't be using the fireplace this winter (brrrr), but the wood will be out of the weather and ready for next year. I see another oak tree has died--for winter-after-next.

We've harvested tomatoes and peppers and a few volunteer tomatillos. Tender things, like the morning glories on the trellis and zinnias, are done for. Cosmos and Shirley poppies are still going strong. I admire from afar and wash my hands again.

We are so blessed by all your good wishes and helpful deeds! JSC

Saturday, October 2, 2004 7:26 PM CDT day 53

Pretty nice day today! Sunny but chilly. Larry worked on some plumbing projects (beautiful new kitchen faucet) and got groceries. I read and biked and just now enjoyed another piece of pumpkin pie from Mary Rose. Thanks again so much!

Good music on the radio tonight . . . wish I could be dancing.

Thanks as always for all the encouragement and energy you send our way. JSC

Lots of folks who were dancing tonight agree that they wish J could be doing that. The group tonight was small, perhaps because it's Country Dance Weekend here in town, so those who do English country dancing had a choice to make. We, on the other hand, had the Pigs (officially Pigs Eye Landing, named after an early name for St. Paul), who ended with one of my favorite waltzes from one of their albums, and I had a waltz partner who was so good she could follow me. And I too am eating a piece of Mary's pie as I write. So I'm a happy camper.

The faucet not only leaked but had all kinds of gunk underneath, so I'm glad I replaced it. Why we had no water overnight and it took two trips to the hardware store this morning is a story best left to your imagination.

It's great to have Janie doing some cooking again, as she did yesterday, and washing dishes, as she did tonight. Every day seems to bring some improvement. It's good that she can see it, but the forced inactivity is boring. Non-sniffling visitors are most welcome in person, and even sniffling visitors are welcome via phone or mail or email or the guest book! Thank you all so much!

Love, larry

Friday, October 1, 2004 4:56 PM CDT Day 52

I've been thinking today how much pleasure I find in getting dirty. Now that I can't harvest tomatoes in the rain (THANK YOU, Larry for doing that for me), muck about in the leaves and compost, clean up the garden, or work on some sawdusty project with power tools it just feels odd to be clean all the time. Maybe finger painting with pudding would be allowable.

It was so dreary today, headed for first frost tonight, nothing to do, no place to go. I think I'll read The Cat in the Hat for solace! I wasn't tired enough for a nap, and the radio news gets worse and worse.

But I did make a crockpot of stew that smells enticing. Thanks to Mary Rose for a pie!

And thanks for all your good wishes, thoughts, prayers, and entreaties that have helped me endure this long recovery. I am not anxious for a major dramatic health event, and so far we've avoided them!

Neighbors and co-workers, I'm up for visits now and then. Would need to be here since I'm not driving yet. Call or e-mail, and we'll plan something.

Your impatient patient, JSC

Thursday, September 30, 2004 6:59 PM CDT Day 51

A pretty quiet day around here. I slept late and felt refreshed from dreams and sleep both. Read and biked some. Tried not to scratch the bites. Wonder how long they will last!

Boring is OK. Happy Hath Day (30 days Hath Sept), J

from L: Thanks again to Adele and Tom for providing our dinner tonight-left over from Tuesday and still delicious. (Yes, Dad, this is the Adele from Dayton who is rumored to have claimed distinction as your worst organ student ever.)

It is indeed great that Janie's bored, and she's pretty well resigned to it, though lonely at times. I'm keeping unbored, what with work and bills and domestic stuff and a wee bit of caregiving. Tonight we listened to the debate and I made it through without getting too angry. Are you proud of me? I hear that those who listen get a very different impression from those who watch. If we'd watched I might have thrown something.

Janie and I were talking about next week. She has two clinic appointments: her regular one on Tuesday and then the 60-day biopsy on Friday. It seems that she just had the 21-day biopsy! But it was a day or two late, and the results dribbled in for 10 days, and 60 days isn't for another 9 days. Anyway, time is moving along, and we have no issues. Ooops; sneezing is not good.

As ever, I don't know how we'd do this without all your support. Thank you, thank you.

Love,
larry

Wednesday, September 29, 2004 8:36 PM CDT Day 50!

Today started sluggishly but got better and better. Last night I had a lot of chigger bite itching and had to take quite a bit of Benedryl to get to sleep. That make it really hard to get up and going this morning. My stomach wasn't quite settled, so I read and listened to the radio most of the morning.

After some lunch (leftovers from last night's yummy dinner from Adele and Tom), Larry took a walk and I biked on the deck. The light through the trees was so lovely--these short days are really precious.

Then we went for a coffee and pie date with our friend Alice in White Bear Lake. Another of the Keys' family restaurants is just a few blocks from Alice's new apartment, and we found just the right goodies and had a great conversation. Alice asked if Larry could help her get her Internet connections hooked up, and he was quite successful. She and I had more time to talk on her screened porch. It was so good to get out and see somewhere other than the clinic! Thanks, Alice, for a most nourishing visit!

I'm working on Adele's image of being an incubator for these new cells from Patrona. My job is to stay healthy and take care of them so they can take care of me. I have to keep my eyes on that prize.

I'm enjoying a book of Irish literature and travel suggestions combined, a gift from my sister-in-law last Christmas. It's a treasure! I'm finding travel books are a good solace--wonder if there's a new Paul Thereaux one yet.

And so good night to all. Your love surrounds us! JSC

Tuesday, September 28, 2004 5:51 PM CDT Day 49 already

Good news at the clinic this afternoon: everything looks pretty stable and about in the right range. Dr. Tomblyn thinks we may have my Cyclosporin dose too low now (will get the test results tomorrow): some stomach discomfort, a rash on my face that isn't a million chigger bites all scrunched together.

So maybe I'll have to up that dose tomorrow. We'll see.

It was good to see people at the clinic and overhear the reunion of several folks who had transplants more than a year ago. Judy from Chaska was there (Walt was going in for transplant as I was leaving the hospital). He was released on Friday, so they're in the "every day at the clinic" phase.

I walked quite a bit but didn't get in the biking. Thanks to Connie for company and transportation this afternoon. Big thanks to Adele, Tom, and Flora for supper!

To celebrate Day 50, L and I are getting together with Alice Schroeder for coffee and pie late in the afternoon! It's getting a little cabin feverish around here. J

Yesterday I was looking forward to taking Janie to the clinic today, but then I realized that I had an appointment for teeth cleaning this afternoon. Thanks so much to Connie for stepping in to drive with so little notice! At least I didn't miss the "excitement" of an infusion, but poor Connie got rush hour coming home. Sorry about that!

Dr. Tomblyn did phone later today to say that the Cyclosporin level was too low and J should increase her dosage a bit (to 125 mg x 2) starting tomorrow. As Kelly wrote earlier in the guestbook, Rob had lots of difficulty getting his dosage right, so we're not worried. But higher doses do seem to correspond to J's not feeling so well.

I reiterate J's thanks to Adele and Tom and Flora, and add thanks to all of you who are supporting us.

Love,
larry

Monday, September 27, 2004 9:09 PM CDT

Guess Janie and I both ran out of steam yesterday and neglected to update you on the exciting events here.

No, don't get your hopes or fears up. The boredom broke yesterday only in that we went over to a park and took a walk by the river. (For you non-locals, �the river� means the Mississippi. If it's some other river, we specify.) It was a beautiful day! J. wore her mask and responded appropriately when one of the few people we met (a little kid) asked why she was wearing it. Otherwise it was a typical Sunday, though we watched a movie after dinner rather than reading. And there was some more tile laying. . .

Today it was the result of the last tile laying that broke the boredom. I was cleaning up, and the dehumidifier came on and sent mineral spirit fumes throughout the house, despite the fact that I had a powerful fan on in the room (and the ventilation chase was wide open). When I emerged J was opening windows and turning on exhaust fans and worried about my exposure. So we patronized a drive-in window and a picnic table in another park.

The high temp for the day was around 70, but some clouds and wind rolled in, and it was chilly in the park. And I heard the F word on the radio: Frost possible tomorrow night. So here comes the end of life as the mosquitoes know it!

Thanks to neighbor Terry for bread fresh by special courier from that special bakery in Amsterdam. (No, not Amsterdam, Minnesota.) Thanks to Jim for the surprise lawn mowing! And thanks to all of you for your support.

Love,
larry

Saturday, September 25, 2004 10:06 PM CDT day 46

Such a nice day! Cool but sunny. I got to ride my bike on the deck. We enjoyed Laura and Ben's company for dinner. They brought yummy Chinese food AND dessert AND a movie. Made for a cheery evening! J

From the later gater: Whew! Just got back from contra dancing. In other words, from three hours of aerobic exercise in the arms (literally as well as figuratively) of friends. Even though Ben and Laura were here, Janie was sad to see me go--but primarily because she couldn't come. She can do �air hugs� with visitors here, but it's hard to imagine �air swings� at a contra dance. And there are inevitably cold germs being passed around. I'll shower before crawling into bed.

As I was telling all those who asked at the dance, J. has made remarkable (to me) progress. If her taste buds are back, can her hair be far behind? Her vision is better. The chiggers are under control. Almost every day she sleeps a little less and yet has a little more energy. No infections, no dangerous levels of GVHD. Her memory is no worse than mine. Knock on wood. Oh, who's at the door?

Thanks to her good health, today was a typical Saturday for me: cleaning the house, sorting laundry, running errands, messing with the computer printer (still). . . . But I didn't have to fix dinner or clean up; thank you, Laura and Ben!

And thanks to all of the rest of you, too.

Love,
larry

Friday, September 24, 2004 7:14 PM CDT Day 45

Not much to say--read a little, slept a little, ate a little, took some pills. I didn't get outside because it was rainy and chilly. But tomorrow should be brighter, and I'll get some biking and maybe a walk in.

Boring is good! Love from J

From the Later L: Can't resist adding some notes. Our heros Rob and Kelly celebrated Day 365 yesterday! Congratulations!

To start the weekend's house cleaning, I dusted most of the house after J. had gone to bed and I had shut the door to our bedroom. Tomorrow I'll dust in there after she's out, then vacuum the house. Thanks to a central vac, I don't worry about stirring up dust in the house. It gives me more flexibility.

I celebrated today with lots of math messing, a walk, and laying tile in the utility room. Why can't I figure out how to do that without making a horrendous mess? It must be amusing to watch this klutz in action! Or horrifying.

Love,

larry

Thursday, September 23, 2004 3:54 PM CDT Day 44

Hi all! Windy, sunny day turned to drizzle before I got my bike rides in. I ate a gooey, yummy grilled cheese-and-tomato sandwich outdoors while it was still dry. It's wonderful to have my "taster" back, to think of something good to eat, and make it.

Meeting last night was for a national girls' science project related to public TV. We had a great discussion, and I think it will be exciting to participate. I was good and kept my mask on except while eating. We had a great Greek dinner from a restaurant next door. Rebreathing all that garlic through my mask afterward was an experience. I think it will heal anything that ails me!

It was good to feel that I'll be able to work with my brain again someday, and with kids eventually when my immune system is in better shape. The numbers are good, but we know those new little cells aren't up to a big challenge yet.

Hail to garlic and chiggers! JSC

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 11:58 PM CDT

Janie didn't write today, so you get me.

Well, she did it. She actually went to a business meeting! It was a local advisory board for an NSF grant to Twin Cities Public Television in downtown St. Paul. She made sure in advance that nobody would be sneezing or coughing, and she wore her mask. She came home rejuvenated.

Nor, apparently, did she disgrace the family name by scratching too much, though I counted 90+ chigger bites on her back alone when I was applying gunk this afternoon! Of course, she's not really scratching, because it can lead to a dangerous infection, so maybe it helped to be in �public.�

I didn't exactly hover while she was in the meeting, at least not physically. I picked up some tiles for the utility room floor (yes, Lynn) and got some supper at home, while frequently checking the cell phone to be sure I hadn't missed any messages. This picture is more endearing if you're outside looking in than vice versa.

J corrected the number in last night's late edition to the journal. The percentage I'd given was for Patrona cells. Not all of J's remaining cells are bad.

The day was good for me, too. I got to play with math curriculum most of the morning! The weather was sunny and warm (in the low 80s) for my walk. And this evening I caught myself reading a book! Only a few pages, while the computer rebooted (still can't get the printer to resume working, and I think the Epson folks are stymied too), but it was a novel experience.

That'll teach J to let me run loose at this web site!

Love, larry

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 4:36 PM CDT day 42

After a long wait at the clinic this afternoon, there was lots of good news:

No abnormalities in 20 cells from the bone marrrow analysis. That's 0/20 Philadelphia or other bad chromosomes.

Almost all my other numbers were looking good. I'm still a little anemic, and kidney enzymes are getting a little too high. We're lowering the Cyclosporin dose again. I get to go back in a week!

Drippy afternoon; good time to doze with the radio on. Benedryl is working on the chigger issue, but it makes me very sleepy.

Love to all, J

From the night owl: Thank you, Terry, for taking Janie in to the clinic today. I was able to run some errands and engage in unnatural acts with the utility room ceiling. Didn't walk, though; took an extra-long nap instead. Perhaps the drizzle outside made it a low-energy day for me.

It's good to hear that they didn't find any bad cells among the 20 they looked at. The more sensitive test of the same stuff, though, is the one we reported on last week still showing 1.5 percent bad cells. . . Anyway, J. is showing improvement externally as well. More energy, more appetite and taste, better memory, more reading, less staring. Even a sense of humor; she said today that the chigger bites might be called �pest vs host disease.� As long as these are the only bugs she gets, she's doing fine.

Dr. Tomblyn apparently said that J's progress at this point is �about average� for someone who did the mini-transplant. It's a relatively new procedure, and they don't have a lot of data on it. Nevertheless, it might have been better at the beginning if they hadn't frightened us so much with threats of 4-8 weeks in the hospital. Wonder if the year-long recovery estimate actually applies to her.

Thanks again for all your support.

Love, larry

Monday, September 20, 2004 3:46 PM CDT Day 41

Dare I say it? Another boring day? Other than trying not to scratch chigger bites--I do hope they don't carry some terrible disease--reading, and biking, that's about all to report.

Our friends Jan and Brian came over and washed windows, fixed a couple of light switches, helped with a shutter problem, and probably many more things. I'm taking enough Benedryl to be VERY sleepy.

It's a bright dry day, and we have the house open to a wonderful breeze.

Thanks to Mae for dinner tonight! Be well, J

Sunday, September 19, 2004 10:53 PM CDT

Boring is good for those recovering from a transplant. Today was another pretty boring day for Janie, so it was a good one. She called the BMT folks and got permission to take Benadryl, which helped her quest for itchlessness, by putting her to sleep if nothing else.

Thank you, Karen, for staying with Janie last night. The dancing was glorious! The band Contratopia raised the energy level in the room so high that we had more of a workout even than usual. I came home exhausted but too wired to sleep right away.

And then I had to get up early to meet a woman. In fact, I met a very remarkable woman on my way to church. I swung by and picked her up since she needed a ride to the 50-year-member brunch. Many of you Plymouth folks probably know Ruth, but I hadn't met her. She's not exactly a 50-year-member; she's a 75-year-member, having joined when she was 14. Yes, she just turned 90, and she's amazing. Her mind is quick, her memory is at least as good as mine (which isn't saying much), and she has all her faculties except sight. She can't see to read much any more, so she gave up driving a couple of years ago. Raised 8 kids, on average 2-1/2 years apart. That means she was at the child-raising job for 40 years. Whew! From her stories, her �kids� seem like pretty cool folks themselves. What a pleasure I had getting to know her!

Thanks to Terry for coming to be with J. and to work like a beaver this morning while I was gone. And thanks to her hubby Doug for offering frequent flyer miles to help Lynn come home. We may be knocking at your door if things get less boring here and she needs to come.

I made an unanticipated trip to the hospital this afternoon for more drugs. J. was sorting her pills today for the week and found there was one she just couldn't do without tonight. Of course the local pharmacies didn't have it. It still shocks me to see the pharmacy bill for $1300 for a little bottle, so I don't object to the copay. Guess I haven't had enough experience to get hardened to these things.

As always, we're overwhelmed with gratitude when we think of all the support you're giving us. Thank you so much!

Love, larry

Saturday, September 18, 2004 7:09 PM CDT day 39

I'm running out of steam, so I'd better write a bit about today. It was a little chilly, but I biked out on the deck for awhile in the afternoon. I mended the deck chair I've been using (as the stitching got more and more precarious). Larry ran lots of errands including refilling a prescription for me that ran out sooner than I'd guessed. Our friend Karen is here this evening, and we're going to watch some funny DVDs. We talked with Lynn for a little while.

I'm struggling through a plague of chigger bites that I got last weekend by sitting in the grass for not more than 5 minutes! I had on jeans and a long sleeved shirt, but I wore those same clothes a second time later in the week and I think there were still some buggers in them. ANNOYING!!! I keep plastering on a Calamine/Benedryl lotion that helps for awhile. I hope tomorrow is better!!!! JSC

Friday, September 17, 2004 5:36 PM CDT day 38

Hello all, Thanks for all the messages and jokes and poems and help with chores and food and encouragement. It's been a pretty good day, although I was a little weepy around lunch time.

I just made a little bike progress. The stand it's on has been slipping, and there's so much friction I can hardly turn the pedals. Found a little widget that just need the right Allen key, and it's a little better. I still got no strength and no endurance, but it feels good when I'm through!

This afternoon Larry and I went somewhere NOT the clinic--a little coffehouse in West St. Paul for tea and brownies. It was great to get away, and the sun came out too.

Looking forward to Connie's wonderful leftovers for supper!

Be well! JSC

Thursday, September 16, 2004 3:40 PM CDT day 37

Pretty nice day out there! I've felt the best today since I came home from the hospital. I do believe that "I'm might be going to throw up" message means "I'm hungry." At least, eating something makes it better. I'm starting to think about something I want to eat and prepare it, rather than looking at the refrigerator grumpily.

Have been enjoying reading on the deck and biking a bit. Because I've found so many excuses not to exercise, I'm really weak. Yesterday the weather was too bad, the day before I didn't feel well. You know how excuses are. I'm refreshed from a nap, so I'll ride another 5 minutes or so. Don't even REMIND me of those long bike rides in my youth!

One more detail of transplant life: I asked my doctor why my nose is running all the time. She said I probably lost my nose hairs too! Bizarre!

Be well, J

Wednesday, September 15, 2004 4:20 PM CDT day 36

I've been enjoying the wind in the trees today and hoping hurricane damage is soon cleared away. I fear for Jamaica and other Caribbean islands that count so much on tourist trade. We got 4 inches of rain here and there's lots of flooding in Austin south of here. It's certainly turning toward fall.

I stayed alert all day and kept my food and pills down. Didn't even succumb to a nap. It's good to have a better day.

I do feel like walking, so I guess I'll prowl the halls. Hope you're all well.
Love from J & (L) & (L)

Tuesday, September 14, 2004 5:44 PM CDT day 35

Thanks to a ride from Vonnie from Plymouth, I got to the clinic and had good numbers, so it was a quick visit . I get to wait a whole WEEK til next time unless something concerning happens. It takes awhile to adjust to drug changes, and I've felt a bit urpy the last couple of days. My doctor thinks I have a few signs of mild graft-vs-host, which we'll watch, but not treat (yet). We want a little bit of that to get rid of the rest of the leukemia cells.

FISH results (fluorescent assay that looks for particular DNA fragements) showed 1.5 percent of cells had the CML marker. Not too surprising. That's down from 85re-transplant. FISH is the second most precise test, with PCR the most precise (it can test thousands of cells. We still don't have the cytogenetic test results back (where someone grows and counts 20 to 25 cells looking for abnormalities). Apparently post-transplant patients don't have priority on getting the restuls back! Boooo! So maybe nest week.

Looking forward to an evening visit with garden friend Amanda. And thanks to Connie for supper again tonight--pasta and cookies were lovely.

Love and thanks to every one of you, J

Late owl edition at 11:30: I forgot to thank Greg for coming by last evening to help me schlep the washer and dryer around for cleaning. And I add my thanks to J's to Vonnie and Amanda. Thanks to you, I could get some work done and go to the meeting tonight.

As I drove home from the BeFrienders meeting, a major thunderstorm was happening and visibility was limited. So I drove slowly. And I thought about how patient Janie is having to be in growing this new garden, and how great it is that she's not getting so frustrated with the pace any more. Just keeping calm takes a lot of strength. Yeah!

And I thought about how much strength she and I have gotten from all of your love and support. Thank you so much!

Love, larry

Monday, September 13, 2004 4:04 PM CDT day 34

Wow! A third of the way to the magic day 100. Not that all will necessarily be well on exactly that day. Our friend Abbey is still struggling with infections nearing her 100 day. We send lots of hope for her recovery really SOOOOON.

Saturday I asked neighbors Terri and Doug to help with sweeping off the deck and filliing the bird feeders. Doug soon decided to get his power washer, and the place looks like new! Meanwhile, Larry and Terri cleaned the refrigerator and vacuumed and cleaned bathrooms. Then our carpenter-dancer Joyce came to consult on the ventillation chase. A restful dinner and evening with Anne was a delight. Have I written all this before???

Today Jan and Brian brought a yummy lunch, washed windows, and fussed with the stereo antenna. I was really exhausted before lunch, but some sleep and a shower and doing all the catheter jobs all helped be feel a little more energy.

Lynn, to reassure you, I haven't been sick with a fever or infection, but some days I do just feel like a slug. Changing over medications (started antibiotic Bactrim today and finished Cell Cept) seems to affect the soup in my stomach a lot. I can't quite tell when I'm hungry yet, so I may just be way down on nutrients. We will always let you know what's happening!

So we'll call it half-a-slug day; lots better than a whole-slug day! Janie

More later from Larry: Janie had her first outing today, other than to the clinic. Kind neighbors Connie and Frank were on the schedule to provide a meal for us this week. Instead of bringing it over, they graciously invited us to their house to save our having to wash dishes. The Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes and green beans and dessert were wonderful comfort food. J ate a suprising amount. I ate an embarrassing amount.

I was delighted to get a phone call today from Gary, who is J's "twin"-- he had his transplant the same day, two doors down. He's doing about the same as J, quite well, and he and Marge even got up to their lake cabin last weekend.

Thanks again to all of you for your love and support.

Love, larry

Sunday, September 12, 2004 10:12 PM CDT

Update from Lynn: talked to L & J on the phone this evening, and wow, did Mom sound GREAT! That was quite a relief, as I'm never quite sure from the website if she's really okay, or just sorta kinda okay. Today was a really okay day! Hurrah! I also want to add my thanks to everyone in MN and elsewhere for taking care of the old folks! It makes it so much easier for me to know that they have so many wonderful people looking out for them! Thank you thank you thank you!

Love from Lynn

As BMT gardeners know, boring is good, so this was another good day.

Thanks again to Anne for staying with Janie last night and spending the night. Sorry you left too early to experience the breakfast I was going to make for you. Hmm.

As we were finishing breakfast, Martie arrived to play with Janie while I went to church. Apparently they had a good time and J. stayed awake until I got back. She then headed for bed for a �short nap,� which ended 3 hours later. She biked some and read some and then we had supper and read together before she headed back to bed, declaring it a �good day.�

Thanks not only to Anne and Martie but to all the folks at church for their support. Joanne is great to have handed me a tape for J. of today's service.

The service was energizing, being the first of the new program year. Most remarkable for me was Jim's sermon, in which he talked about how our periods of greatest growth are those usually unchosen times when we are �in over our heads.� Gee, I sure hope at least that much good will come out of this!

(Its being Rally Sunday, he used the theme to talk about the need for our church to be in over its head, too. It seems that he plans to help that process by preaching some rather risky sermons over the next two months, addressing moral issues arising in the Presidential campaign. He has never shied away from those issues--especially social justice--and their relevance to the church, so I suspect his risk may come in actually critiquing candidates and parties. I don't see that any of them are beyond reproach!)

I keep thanking so many folks for special efforts, but there are also those who call in regularly and offer support. They are our rocks, and we too often take them for granite. Er, granted. I'm sure I will think of others later, but for now several come to mind: Franz in St. Paul calls almost every day. My parents from Florida and brother Ron and his wife Lisa in New Jersey are often in phone contact, as is Sandy in Chicago. And always available is Joan in California, whose love and support repeatedly leave me feeling better and more ready to cope.

Thanks also to the rest of you for checking in and enveloping us with your care.

Love, larry

Sunday, September 12, 2004 0:08 AM CDT

Saturday was a good day for Janie. She was still flying high from Friday's results of the biopsy. And then in the morning Dr. Marcie called to suggest that she cut down her CSA dose to 125 twice a day, because her level was a little high. (Still aiming for your 150 per day, Greg!) She stayed awake most of the day, doing a lot of reading. Great improvement!

She and I were also cheered by so many folks. My own day started with a post-midnight conversation with Kelly in San Diego. She's as delightful and articulate and supportive on the phone as in her writing! Then (after I got a bit of sleep) our wonderful neighbors Terry and Doug came over to help witih some work. J. had in mind someone could sweep the deck and fill the bird feeder. Poor Doug said, "Oh, I'll get my power washer and clean the deck." Two hours later he finally had it working, but only after several trips elsewhere. What's with guys, anyway? And then he took several hours to clean it. But it looks beautiful! Meanwhile, Terry filled the feeders and helped me a lot with standard vacuuming and frig cleaning inside. What a joy!

After a quick lunch, Joyce, our favorite dancing carpenter, showed up to help me with de-mousing the ventilation chase. Well, there aren't actually any mice in there, but we tried to fill all the holes through which they might be entering when it's cold outside. It was a rather messy job, especially for Joyce, who is small enough to climb up there. We both had some cleaning up to do before dancing tonight. Thank you so much, wonderful friend!

And dear Anne came for the evening with J so I could indeed dance, and in fact she's spending the night so she won't have to drive in the dark. What increditble friends we are so fortunate to know!

Love, larry

Friday, September 10, 2004 4:22 PM CDT day 31

Dear ones, I was just going to take a little nap after we got back from the clinic, but I won't wait longer with this news. We got the most sensitive test results back today, the PCR results that compare little sections of DNA from my bone marrow (can be done on blood too). It would be the equivalent of DNA "fingerprinting" in crime situations. 94.6% of those little fragments are from Patrona! There is still some evidence of the protein that the bad chromosome makes, so I'm not leukemia-free yet!

White count is up nicely, so I'll start a protective antibiotic on Monday--it can sometimes suppress white count, so we wanted my white count to be high enough. This one protects me from a particularly difficult kind of pneumonia as well as other bacterial infections. Platelets are still climbing. Magnesium is OK. Lots of good news!

Now everyone up for a couple of "whoop, whoops" for Larry, who has done so much to keep me going the last month. Lots of others have helped with so many chores, but Larry holds me together. He's the best!

At least my mother, father, and five uncles were heard to emit a "whoop, whoop" (sometimes 3), so it is definitely a birth mark in my family.

Out to the bike--I ought to do a few turns. Love to all, J

Thursday, September 9, 2004 9:36 PM CDT

Hmm. Janie didn't write today, so I am not an appendage this time.

She pronounced her day �good� as her last pill went down (we like this one-way stuff). Thanks for the suggestion, Greg. She also has found it beneficial to take Ativan about a half hour before each pill drop. It usually works.

Her day had a couple of high points. Late this morning I drove her to her hairdresser's for a haircut. Timed it to avoid crowds, and of course she wore a mask. This evening after supper she dealt with a bunch of tomatoes from the garden. No canning; just got peels off in preparation for freezing. That was tiring enough. In between events and afterward, she basically sat around, dozing occasionally, sometimes with the radio on.

My day was boring in contrast. Worked some this morning, ran some errands while she was getting her hair cut, and worked around the house this afternoon, leaving only for a walk around a block or two or three. (Out here, it can be a mile around a block.) It was another glorious day, with a high in the 70s F. Nights are kind of chilly, though. Fall is definitely on its way.

My mother sent flowers. Now, some of you are gasping, because that's usually a no-no. Mother knows that well, so these blossoms were made of pairs of Hershey's kisses wrapped in pink cellophane. Pretty amazing! Thank you! So J took your advice, Wendy, to add more chocolate to her diet. As her official food tester, I approve!

We're hoping to get biopsy results tomorrow, though the length of time these things take, as you CMLlers know, is unpredictable.

As always, we appreciate your care and concern so much!

Love, larry

Addendum Friday morning from examining room at the clinic: Love this wireless technology! We're waiting for results from the blood work, but our doctor, Marcie Tomblyn, gave us the PCR results of last week's biopsy. In J's bone marrow, 94.6 percent of the cells are Patrona's! (Marcie also prefers to call her "Patrona" rather than "donor.") There are still signs of the leukemia cells, but that's not at all worrisome at this stage.

It's nice to be able to share the good news in "real time."

Thanks, Laura, for the loan of the prepaid cell phone, and for walking it over to the clinic from your office a few minutes ago. I'll feel more comfortable knowing that folks at the house can reach me when I'm out.

Love, larry

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 5:05 PM CDT day 28

Wow, four weeks without a major crisis. I feel so fortunate!

It's chilly for early September, and I read outdoors in a flannel shirt, fleece vest, and an afghan on top. I'm feeling pretty blah today--I think it is from high level of cyclosporin (anti-rejection drug) in my blood even after we lowered the dose last week. So it will be even lower, and maybe I'll feel a little better.

Wish my "hunger-stat" would return. I can't tell the difference between feeling slightly gicky and hungry. It usually helps to eat something, but I'm never sure.

I'm going to freeze some garden gems others picked for me. It's hard not to be Filling Up the Jars this time of the year, but I think not!

Thanks to all for phone calls, food, cheering visits, and your ferocious love surrounding us. Jane

Larry later: The "crappy day" got worse with the last pile o' pills, half of which came back up, along with dinner. Not much to be done except shove down some replacements. Dr. Tomblyn today cut back the CSA dosage, so those weren't in tonight's mix. If the nausea continues, I'll call the clinic in the morning to see if we should be concerned.

Thanks to Mary Rose for bringing by a light meal today--as well as for ongoing coordination of volunteers. What a great neighbor and friend!

Love, larry

Tuesday, September 7, 2004 7:30 PM CDT day 27

I'm about of steam tonight, but it was a good day. Clinic visit took a very long time--lab tests were slow, and then I needed magnesium, which is pretty slow too. Thanks to Connie for driving me and waiting all that long time!

I made a list for the day for the first time since early August. Accomplished some of the list. Good to have some things to do tomorrow.

Thanks to Amanda for a lovely visit and staying to supper. Sorry I was so blurry. I'm not particularly sleepy, just tired.

Looks like I'm making platelets! (up from 87,000 last Saturday to 117,000 today. 150,000 would be the lower edge of normal) That's exciting. We should have more news Friday on the biopsy results.

Thanks to Howard and Carol in VA for pictures of Lynn's poster session at the Smithsonian, and to dancing friend Karen for an encouraging note. Lots of people are shy about leaving public notes, but remember, you don't have to leave your e-mail address.

Hope I can stay awake for another chapter of that great book about the unicorn tapestries . . . . love to all J

And why can't L just let well enough alone? Well, I have to say a word in defense of Karen et al. I'm one of the al--often at a loss for words at Caringbridge sites--and it has nothing to do with my email address. For those of you with similar feelings, please know that we are honored by your just showing up. Yes, we appreciate the messages in the guest book very much; sometimes they're all that keep me going. And emails and snail mail notes and phone calls are welcome too. But so are positive thoughts, if you can't find the time or words for other kinds of support.

It was another glorious day here, though a little cooler--I was even chilly outside in a tee shirt this evening. The fan for the furnace/A/C/dehumidifier is working again, and there's now a HEPA filter in the system, thanks to a new and slightly more powerful motor. Today the list of stresses diminished. Yeah! Thanks to so many of you for traveling with us.

Love, larry

Monday, September 6, 2004 12:13 AM CDT Day 26

Wouldn't it be great to have another day like yesterday? Lots of rain during the night, but bright sun this morning. Garden Angels Tom, Flora, and Adele are coming to plant some little prairie plants they started caring for in June--potted them in bigger pots and kept them encouraged. Saturday Garden Angel Miriam weeded most of the space the new ones go in. Hooray, hooray.

I still miss swimming, going to church, digging in the dirt, dancing, and being in crowds. But I'm looking forward to each clinic day as a way to see how well I am.

Thanks for writing the journal yesterday, Larry. I am so grateful for all the help and love that surrounds us. Janie

Later--I had two 5-minute bike rides and cooked supper. Wow, does it take THAT much energy to cook a meal? It was a very pleasant day! I think a lower dose of one medication may be helping with energy, and my blood sugars are lower too.

The even later Larry: I don't know why I need to put in two cents, because J. covered the day pretty well. I'll just add that it was one of those perfect California days that makes us wonder if Garrison Keillor exagerates a wee bit. How soon we forget!

Like city buses, breakdowns around the house arrive in convoys. I'm running hard to stay in place. Downspouts, furnace fans, computer software. . . . They all were fine just days ago! Tonight J pointed out something else that wasn't working, I volunteered to take it apart, and she made it very clear that such action was unadvisable. I have to agree that one more thing torn apart right now might push us over some edge or another. At least she has the energy to make things very clear! For that we're grateful.

Love, larry

Sunday, September 5, 2004 11:11 PM CDT

Day 25 (1/4 of the cruical 100 days!)

Today Janie had more energy than recently. She speculated that it was due to a cup of tea she had this morning. And thus superstitions are made!

Somewhat fearfully, I left her alone this morning while I went to church. When I got home she'd sorted some clothes and started washing some dishes, which she finished later. She says she didn't sleep much at all today. Are you as impressed as I am?

It was so good to feel such support at church. Thanks to all our dear friends there! It was good to wish you happy birthday in person, Paul! And thanks for showing me around your new digs, Joyce.

Some of you have heard us talk about our friends--not yet met--Rob and Kelly in the San Diego area, or seen Kelly's kind notes in our guest book. Yesterday was the first anniversary of Rob's initial date for a transplant. His was delayed for almost three weeks due to the donor's illness. We're so fortunate we didn't have to live with that kind of suspense! We've been inspired and informed by their journal and feel that they're part of our family. Actually, Kelly, I'm sorry to hear that your main excuse to visit Minnesota has moved elsewhere. But if you're willing to settle for a second-best excuse, we stand ready to welcome you!

We had the delight of welcoming goddaughter Lee and her friend Dan for dinner and catching up this evening. They're up from Chicago to visit other friends and were gracious enough to share some of their valuable time with us. They had even dropped by the Norske Nook on the way through Wisconsin and brought us specimens of fine pie. Thank you googles!

This morning I woke up feeling discouraged by the long list of things I hadn't gotten done yesterday, despite hard work. Thanks to church and friends, I feel much better about not having made much progress on the list today. And tomorrow's a holiday. . . .

So, again, thanks so much to all of you who send positive thoughts and messages our way. We appreciate you so much!

Love, larry

Saturday, September 4, 2004 5:26 PM CDT day 25

This is a day to thank friends: Mary W drove me to the clinic today and read while I waited for test results. Miriam (WEED WOMAN) came by this afternoon and watered, transplanted, weeded, and found just a few more buckthorn to whack out. Mary C and Ken are coming over for dinner and stay with me while Larry goes to contradance. We are so blessed with offers of every sort, and Mary Rose organizes person to task and keeps us all arranged in perfect patterns. Thank you all!

I've graduated to two clinic visits a week. It'll be Tuesday and Friday this coming week. Things are still pretty stable. Hope to have some of the biopsy results on Tuesday to see if Patrona's cells are growing. At least by Friday we should have the full report.

I still don't have much energy, but it'll come back eventually. I sat outside and watched clouds part of the day; so much to see! I did a little walking and watering. And a couple of little naps. Not very exciting, but I'm so glad to be home. Love to you all from Jan(ie) (and Larry)

5 hours later from the late owl: Mary's taking Janie to the clinic allowed me to stir up some dust around the house (in cleaning) and to run some errands. The rest of the day, while J sat outside and watched clouds and Miriam at Work, I did some less polluting cleaning inside, washed lots of clothes, and baked an apple pie for dinner. (Thanks again to Kathy for contributing the main course! The four of us unanimously agreed that it was excellent.) And thanks to the dance community for all the hugs tonight, to be passed on, at least figuratively, to J.

Adele mentioned on the phone today that various readers of this site have contacted each other directly to get better acquainted, so we're building community through these efforts. She suggested that we have another party in a year so people can attach faces to names they've seen here. I'm all for it! Thanks especially to Mary Rose for spearheading so much of this closeness.

Love, larry

Friday, September 3, 2004 8:33 PM CDT day 24

Day 24

Just watched a DVD of Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times. They certainly got through a lot of crazy adventures.

Rested and read most of the day. Nothing memorable except the perfect windy day outside. Tomorrow I'll go to the clinic with a ride from a neighbor. Won't have any biopsy results yet, but I hope other blood levels are OK.

Love from J & L

Well, that one was from J. Here's L:

It's good to see J with a little more energy. I didn't spot her asleep all day, though she said I didn't look at the right times. She did read some, which she hasn't recently been able to concentrate on, and she also sat and rested and stared into the woods. And there were a few tears of frustration.

Despite my discomfort with leaving her alone, I took an hour or so this morning to run a few errands. For the rest of the day, when we weren't together, I worked on cleaning and cooking and phoning (yep; my random sample shows that almost everybody's gone for an extended weekend) and other domestic stuff. Tonight I drafted a new simulation for teachers, just because I was longing for at least one activity more intellectually challenging that this writing!

Thank you for checking in, especially if you too are on vacation! Any notes to J urging her to get that chicken off this site would be appreciated!

Love, larry

Thursday, September 2, 2004 6:50 PM CDT day 23

I'm lots cheerier today--after effects of drugs for the bone marrow biopsy and peaceful sleep. Yesterday I sat outside reading lots, biked a couple of times, and trudged up to the mailbox many times. I'm trying to make short bits of exercise that I can do rather than longer ones I just can't yet.

We're lowering my cyclosporine (antirejection drug) by a little bit because I
have more in my circulating blood than I need. It's level is a little erratic, and this is the first couple of days it was higher than normal.

Using my glucometer is fun, but I often can't make a drop of blood big enough for the test strip. I think my capilaries must be deep, but my skin is thin. I had several measurements under 200 today.

Yummy Ratouille from Kathy for supper, and many other gifts from many others.

Lynn left for NY at 4 this morning but has not told us where at the airport she left the car. Send telepathic messages to her to call with a message!

It's a beautiful summer day. Hope you've all soaked it up! Jane

larry later: As Kelly says, CMLlers "know the drill" all too well, but the rest of you are clamoring to hear about what's involved in a bone marrow biopsy. (Well, one person asked me.) For Janie, it's always involved making an incision down to a hip bone and pushing a long thin hollow cylinder (with a T handle) down to and into the bone. When they pull it out, they hope to have a cm or so of the marrow from inside the bone. Then also suck out marrow through the tube into various syringes for different tests.

This description omits all of the associated sterilizations and pain killers and cleanup. As I watched the team of two people doing it today (one of whom was explaining each step to a third), I was reminded of a religious ritual. The acolyte knew exactly what to do, and her movements--from the washing of the hands and the donning of the gloves to the careful wrapping of the sample--were very smooth and well-coordinated with those of the priest.

Well, Lynn sent me email about the car's location, so "Big Lynn" drove me over to the airport around 11:30 this evening. I found the car immediately, but in the last place I would have looked for it had I been systematically searching the huge parking garage. �Big Lynn� and Dale had been here at the house while I went to the first Thursday challenge contra at Tapestry. It was a wonderful gift from them, and I appreciated the opportunity so much! Thank you! And thanks to Norma for being on call all afternoon in preparation to take me car-fetching.

No clinic trip tomorrow. Dr. Tomblyn said that if J looks real good on Saturday she might skip both Sunday and Monday, but as always she made it clear that we can't plan ahead.

Having driven to the airport and back, and done the ice cream bit, I'm wound down enough from dancing that I can probably sleep. Thanks to so many in the dance community for their support and encouragement.

Love, larry

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 10:08 PM CDT

Today was a good day. This morning Janie shed some tears of frustration at how little energy she had this morning, especially when walking to the mailbox and back (a total of about 200 feet) tired her out. But she perked up some, and she did less sleeping today than in recent days. She sat out on the deck a lot on this beautiful day, but even when she was reading in the hammock she didn't go to sleep. Or so it appeared to me. She can argue with me tomorrow.

This morning Lynn moved into the library and finally finished the paper she owes her prof from last spring--the day before she leaves to go back to school. She came home in late afternoon really glad to have written 18 pages. She and I made our traditional souffle for dinner. Afterward she went out for ice cream with her friend and our alternate daughter Anna who--thank you, Anna!--came over so we could visit with her for awhile. Lynn is in the process of staying up all night reading �trashy novels.� �Why go to bed,� she asks rhetorically, �when I just have to get up at 3?� My suggestion about going to bed early was met with the expected eye rolling, though it's more symbolic than actual now that she's a mature adult.

I spent the day on the house and phone calls. It's amazing how much there is to do centered on transplants, even beyond direct care for the patient. Today it was mostly insurance and unemployment stuff. More insurance calls face me tomorrow, along with arranging to have the septic system pumped (sound familiar, neighbors?) and tracking down a missing pay check. The stuff Lynn and I had thrown into half of the garage before Janie came home from the hospital finally got cleared out enough to get the other car in. That felt good. And I sneaked out for a walk in this wonderful weather! I even had the privilege of sitting a spell outside and chatting with Clarence Svihel, who with LaRou has been in the neighborhood longer than anyone else and has great stories and lots of perspective on life and illness.

Besides phone calls and paper work, tomorrow we do the 3-week biopsy. Results about a week later should tell us how well the new cells are doing. (Hmm. OK, grammarians and editors; the word shouldn't be �are,� but should it be �were� or �had been� or �will have been� or what?)

We're always happy to hear from you, by whatever means. Thank you for all your love and support.

Love, larry

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 4:17 PM CDT day 21

Not a lot new today. I'm still very weary and my blood sugar is high. I have a monitor to check it before each meal and at bed time. For now we'll just monitor it. I suspect the lack of exercise is the main problem. So I'm trying a walk up to the mailbox every hour I'm awake as well as shorter bursts of biking.

At the clinic, we found most of my counts were fine, so no infusions or injections. We had some teaching about the blood sugar monitor. Tomorrow I have a day off, and then bone marrow biopsy on Thursday. It takes about a week to get the results, and we'll let you know as soon as we know. We're looking for fewer cancer cells and more new Patrona cells.

Thanks again for all the help you have given us and promises of rides and diversions. We love you, J

Monday, August 30, 2004 7:30 PM CDT Day 20

Went to the clinic and got a shot of growth factor for WBC--they are still dropping, and we want them to grow. Magnesium was OK, so maybe we have a good oral dose. And my doctor understands my concern about blood sugar, so I have a monitor and I will check it before meals and at bedtime. Just recording now, but if we need to do prednisone (graft-vs-host miracle drug) I'll need insulin too.

I think I've graduated to 3 visits a week, except I have a biopsy this Thursday, so I might have to go Friday also. But tomorrow off.

Slept a lot--so many systems are working overtime! I rode my bike two 8-minute times, trying to work up to more time. It still feels like lead feet even at my lowest gear.

So the big goal is avoid infections until day 100. Sleep, breathe, walk, eat, swallow pills, Repeat. Thanks for cards and treats! Jane

From Larry: Thanks to Lynn's driving, I was able to have a delightful lunch with our dear friend Tina. Thanks so much, Tina, for the time and encouragement!

Janie is indeed in better spirits now, and she seems somewhat stronger, though she does tire easily. Hmm; sounds like a car.

I didn't comment yesterday about the fantastic "share the care" meeting Mary Rose organized. Such dear friends and neighbors, to be urging us to tell them what we want and need! I am overwhelmed with gratitude, and Lynn felt much better about going back to school.

She leaves for NYC Thursday. We'll miss her, but we're so glad she decided not to take a term off. (I almost said "we're so glad she's going." Sometimes even I can function as an editor.) It's hard to believe she's a senior, until I think of how much of an adult she is. I made the annual generous contribution to USPS to ship her boxes today. Just the little taxpayer supporting his government!

It's so kind of Norma and Gene to offer to help me fetch a car from the airport Thursday, so that nobody has to drive Lynn there at 4:30 a.m.!

So, again, thanks to everyone. Even knowing that not all days will be this good, today is a day of hope.

Love, larry

Sunday, August 29, 2004 10:02 PM CDT Day 19

No clinic visit today, so I took my first bucket of pills, ate yummy food, tried to flush my central line (we'll get some hints tomorrow), slept, biked, had potluck with Jan and Brian who helped us with the generosity of all you dear folks this week.

I think I had a little more energy today, but I didn't get the sewing project started that I thought would be a good diversion. It was good to sit outside for short spurts today. How many colors of green are out there? New England asters are gorgeous this week--usually they're not out til September. Several years ago a particular plant bloomed incredibly early, but I can't remember what happened that winter! So much for predictions.

Second bucket of pills, shower, bed. Love to you all! J

Saturday, August 28, 2004 9:03 PM CDT Day 18

Highlights of the day: clinic visit for some magnesium, but I can skip tomorrow; brunch brought by Poetangel Anne Seltz; a long nap; a lovely walk around Wood Lake in Richfield--about a half hour walk with a couple of rest stops. Just enjoyed a DVD of Grumpy Old Men.

I'm going to try to get some craft projects going so I can be more active and sleep less. The fresh air was great this afternoon. Thanks for so many cards and whimsical presents to raise my spirits. I think this phase while more cells are dying than are being born (my red count and platelets are dropping steadily, as expected from the radiation and chemo) has to be cause for fatigue. Things will turn around one of these days,and I'll have more energy. I'm glad to be home! Love and thanks from J

Much later, from the echo-logist Larry: Not much to add, except thanks to Laura for the Wood Lake idea. And, as always, thanks so much to Lynn for everything. Being with Janie tonight let me dance. It felt so good. And thanks to Kathy for the bag of goodies (yes, I remembered to bring them home aftter the dance) and to Barbara for her offers of more food.

Yawn,

larry

Friday, August 27, 2004 5:54 PM CDT Day 17

Rested a lot today, walked a little, and did 15 minutes on my bike. It wasn't quite so hard as yesterday, but ALMOST. It was great not to have to go into Mpls for once.

Things taste funny, too many pills, and I don't quite see the next goal. I'm tired of being so tired. I figured out the goal of getting home, and that's so much better than being in the hospital. I think we're looking for engraftment now. Will have an early appointment tomorrow, then brunch here brought by dear Anne.

Right now neighbors are cutting the lawn! Thanks, thanks to all my angels! JSC

Later, from Larry: Yes, indeed, thanks so much to Jim and Kari for mowing and letting me take a different kind of walk! And thank you, Diana and Kathy and Wendy, for the cool packages! And thanks for the many phone calls of concern. We're so fortunate to know you!

Please, please don't ask how I got roped into a picture with Janie and giant chicken. I don't even remember this moment of weakness four years ago tomorrow.

Moving on: Our concern about seemingly contradictory advice from medical practioners led to a phone discussion this afternoon with Jennifer, our transplant nurse coordinator. She made some phone calls and called back. The consensus is not to worry--at least yet--about yesterday's high glucose level, and to increase the dosage of magnesium pills. See what's dominating our lives these days?

Actually, there are other distractions as well. For example, Lynn picked up a dvd of a funny movie at the library today, and watching it after dinner cheered up Janie and me considerably. No, we still haven't gotten around to buying a TV, but 3 of the 4 computers currently in the house (sigh!) play dvd's.

Again, thanks to all of you for your care and support.

Love, larry

Thursday, August 26, 2004 5:36 PM CDT Day 16

I'm starting to see a pattern: I'm tired, go to the clinic, measure stuff, change stuff, come home, be tired, etc. But lots of things are OK: I'm not throwing up! No pains or aches. It's much easier to fix my hair now! Messages and and encouragement keep pouring in from all the best folks! I did get a 15 minute bike ride (lowest gear), but I may cut back to 10 minutes tomorrow.

Today I needed magnesium IV again. My clinician cut back my oral Mg dose thinking that maybe that caused the diarrea. It takes several days to get the stool cultures grown and read. My blood sugar was very high, but she didn't want to give me insulin. I couldn't seem to convince her that was not a good idea. White cells were way high from the growth factor I got yesterday. My platelets and red cells are going to continue to drop because I'm not making any new ones. They have lower levels that they'll use for infusions if I need them.

Get a day off from the clinic tomorrow, then back again on Saturday. Just don't feel as if I have a brain today. But I have a heart to love you all, Janie

From Larry: This was the first time we encountered what seemed to be conflciting ideas among the main medical folks we've seen, probably because they were looking at the data one day apart. Nevertheless, we were concerned, but we apparently called our nurse coordinator too late to get a return call.

On the rest of the home front, Lynn spent the day with a friend at the state fair (which opened today) and is planning to go in to the university tomorrow, with or without her mom, to work in the biomed library on a paper she's writing. While J. slept this afternoon, I did, too, and then worked on some little stuff, including getting a bid out for another job. Tonight I hope to finish up a big piece of another paying project. This Life of the Mind provides a good escape into an alternative universe, if only for brief periods.

Thanks to all of you for your continued support. Barb, you're a real gem for bringing a meal tonight, the second of the week! This food gives me much-needed breathing space!

Love, larry

Wednesday, August 25, 2004 7:08 PM CDT Happy Day 15

I slept a lot today, but this afternoon I did finally ride 15 minutes on my bike on the stand on the deck. . . it's hard, but I'm glad I could. Sweat is good.

At the clinic today I got a shot of growth factor because my white cells were down a little. At this point (day 15 for the next couple of weeks), we should be seeing strong signs that the graft is taking--counts going up. Platelets and red cell counts are still as good as pre-transplant.

Also had some diarrhea, which could be too much oral magnesium, or some lactose intolerance (coming from intestinal cells irradiated two weeks ago), or maybe something bacterial (as in "something I ate") or maybe GVHD (new graft cells attacking my gut). I'll take 'em a sample to look at tomorrow and we'll see what else happens.

Just riding back and forth to town is tiring. Maybe I'll get a day off from clinic visits one of these weeks.

Thanks to dear Shiela who brought scones and conversation for tea this afternoon. It was a wonderful break. Glad to talk about plants and animals big enough to see! Love, J

Tuesday, August 24, 2004 5:43 PM CDT Day 14

Lab results look good today, so I received no tasty infusions or swills. I've been SO emotionally up and down (not an unusual effect of all this chaos), that Dr. Tomblyn talked me into trying Zoloft as an antidepressant. It takes a couple of weeks to start working. so it's better not to let me continue to wallow.

I can manage to make breakfast, bike a little on the deck, get a shower, take some pills, sleep some more, find something for lunch, get to the clinic, and write a little before another nap. Seems like a slow-motion dream, but maybe I can get a few craft projects started so something will have a purpose. I don't feel as if I have a brain today.

Next steps in this recovery is: no new infections! So send no Anthrax, please.

Thanks for Judy and Frans in Blue Mound for the beautiful pictures of mama's flowers in gorgeous bloom this spring. IT was so wonderful. Maybe next spring I can travel down to see them in the real.

It's grand to have lots of snuggle places here at home to curl up with blanket and book. Love to you all from J

Monday, August 23, 2004 4:55 PM CDT Day 13

We went to the clinic this afternoon for tests, but had no potions, infusions, tisanes, or concoctions to bring home. My white cell count is dropping a little (because the effect of my last growth factor charge on Saturday is wearing off), but magnesium is OK because of a higher oral dose. I'll go back tomorrow and will probably need that growth factor. Might just be a quick injection, or they might want to do it IV. Lots of things to juggle these days, so that's why they're checking everything every 24 hours or so. For example, there's a better antibiotic I should start on soon, but I have to have my white counts in a stable range with no growth factor because that same antibiotic tends to lower white counts.

I did ride my bike on rollers out on the porch this morning for 15 minutes--whew that was hard! Had a pleasant visit with neighbor Mary Rose, who is by they way coordinating fabulous food from other neighbors. And napped some. I'm 'motionally and fizzaly 'zausted. So a little nap, some dinner, and a visit from our friends just returned from Sweden!

Love and thanks to you all. We hold you in our hearts, J (L & L)

A late addition, from Larry: I want to add thanks to so many of you who are supporting us by calling, emailing, sending notes and cards, stopping me on the street, etc. Special thanks go to Jeff and Rebecca and Mary Rose and Ben and Laura for visits and to Barb and Kari for wonderful food. (If I've forgotten someone, please forgive me!) And Mary Rose is doing a fantastic job of organizing neighbors to help out! How could we manage without you?

Love, larry

Monday, August 23, 2004 9:31 AM CDT

Sleeping and eating at home, YES! Long wait at the clinic to change some drug concentrations and top up the magnesium tank, TOLERABLE. Long deep sobbing over mysteries not-amenable to caffeine; I think it's about missing my mother and looking for protection in this bizarre new world.

So this for you today: Hair

It was never right in any photo I have taken after the age of two. Those sweet little locks snarled deeper and deeper, making hair washing while kneeling on the porcelain sink sideboard agony every week. When my mother wasn't trying to catch me to wash my hair (she wouldn't think of sending us to bed with �wet heads,� so a pleasant dunk in the bathtub with �no more tears shampoo� was not going to happen), she was experimenting with home permanents. The sweetish odor of methylthiones disguised as some other malodorous chemical class is the main reason I am not a methylthione chemist.

When school started, I had some hope with school pictures. My father's school pictures were always magnificent with tweed suit and tie. He would have a �nice� pose looking like your friend, and he'd have a fabulous �scowling� shot. He awarded them equally to all his junior high students.

But none of the school pictures I own show evidence of the hours of arranging and rearranging a new hairdo in shampoo, practicing expressions with just the right spirit. The only one I still some hope out for is our the second grade pictures. After we had primped and posed and paid our money, the photographer absconded with the money and we never saw the pictures.

The night before my third grade pictures (and my sister's 7th grade), our mother just kept cutting and cutting and cutting. Because of course, one side was still just a little too long, and could/must be fixed with another judicious snip. As it ended, both Snell Girls had haircuts worthy of cartoon characters, odd bangs and sides well above our ears. And why didn't ONE of us escape? Did our father tie us up in blankets and band-aid our little eyes? Which little lamb went first? A third grade colleague reminded me of that picture at least 35 years after the event.

So I stopped letting my mother cut my hair, and it grew in dred proportions, every little hook from stick-straight portion ready to clasp the tiniest stray tendril. I had one more short hair cut in high school for a character dance role that required green spikes, and then I just let my hair grow.

It was luxury to dry it outdoors and make thick braids that I pinned firmly to my head in case police at peace rallies tried to grab me by my mane. I loved the Professora look in grad school that I could cast aside with a few pins and rubber bands into something entirely different.

I cut my hair for my child's sake when Lynn was three. We went to water play on Wednesday nights, inventing game where she put a nickel in the coin slot on my shoulder and I would flip her up in the air and catch her. I found that I usually didn't dunk under the water since I had swum laps already that morning and didn't need to wash my hair again. But I saw how timid Lynn became about her own dunking, and out came the scissors. It was a good move.

So for all of you still reading and saying �oh but it'll grow back,� this hair actually hurts as it pulls out in my hands. I'm taking it outdoors for a bird or mouse to make a nest. But I am not consoled.

Jane

Sunday, August 22, 2004 4:35 PM CDT day 12